- Nov 17, 2018
The thing is as exciting as the fast intimacy is, it cant be sustained. Eventually that fire and passion slows down, and if you have nothing in common, no friendship beyond the sex, then both parties lose interest because there is nothing mental/emotional binding you together to get through the duller parts. It’s easy to leave.The messed up thing is this kind of exciting volatile thing is far more thrilling and enticing to me than something more stable and long term. To me that just kind of sounds like a death sentence. Who wants to end up in a long term relationship where they are bored and dissatisfied. Have been discussing with my therapist who said that there are very many couples in long term relationships who are bored and dissatisfied, the initial intensity and hotness of a relationship simply cannot last
It’s an addiction like any other, and creates a vicious cycle of lust, but not love, and leaves us alone and wondering why.
It ties into both our impulse control and self destruction tendencies, and for me, was a way to keep people at arms length so they never saw the real me that I was terrified to show ... they’d just leave me if they got to see the real me, etc.
it was a form of self protection.
When in reality, I (we) have a lot to offer and our flaws make our character, and are worth being loved.
That’s the base psychology for why I had this addiction, I would purposefully pick broken men because they would never push to get to know me on a deeper level, a friendship level that would sustain the relationship in good and bad. But everyone is different And that may not be your motivation..but it’s something to explore, the why, with your therapis.