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Love to all you DSM crew!

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Inrar

Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Bristol
So I'm joining you, the many masses of humans out here encased in "distortions" that play with us perpetually as we compare ourselves to the ones that can just 'get along with it' or can repress it until it fades away.
That can keep stable jobs, friends, relationships and rarely feel the intense stretches of lonliness, fear and shame that having conditions can burden you with.

But you know what? In a way I'm greatful for the painful unrestrained emotion, I'm greatful that I don't always agree with the majority - and that the majority in many cases has turned against me, because in my opinion, we are the ones that a brave enough to stand against this solidified and enforced perception of "reality"
Because tbh, who actually knows why we are experiencing any of this at all anyway?
We are also the ones brave enough to still be here. Regardless of how many times a day escaping from your own mind seems like the only option. Brave enough to share and tear our minds apart, rebuilding ourselves into compassionate and spiritually aware beings.

And lastly, I'm so greatful that we are in this moment, with assessibility to each other - whether we can relate or not, we can at least accept and validate the challenges that each of us relive, endure and overcome everyday.

Love to you all x
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
819
So I'm joining you, the many masses of humans out here encased in "distortions" that play with us perpetually as we compare ourselves to the ones that can just 'get along with it' or can repress it until it fades away.
That can keep stable jobs, friends, relationships and rarely feel the intense stretches of lonliness, fear and shame that having conditions can burden you with.
Love to you all x
You sound like you are having a bit of a rough time of it :hug: has anyone said something to trigger these thoughts :hug::hug:
 
I

Inrar

Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Bristol
You sound like you are having a bit of a rough time of it :hug: has anyone said something to trigger these thoughts :hug::hug:
I think life is the general trigger haha.
I'm just feeling the standard alone and misunderstoodness (which I feel embarrassed about admitting).
And maybe selfishly I just wish that more people could see through the bullshit that BPD brings, but that's my own responsibility.
Would probably help if I could open up, instead of running away and walling myself in!

Thanks for asking though, is this something you can relate too?
 
T

Trekster33

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2019
Messages
134
Location
South West UK
Inrar sounds like your "flight, fight or freeze" response is turned up permanently.

Part of the problem is everyone has emotions so it's not something that's easy to avoid. Your reactions at the moment we're survival instincts growing up. As it's instinctive we end up doing these bpd characteristics without realising or thinking.

Yesterday I had a breakthrough. I told someone close to me I have a precursor to personality disorder, he's a very close friend that I was involved with before I came out as masculine. This was the first time that I admitted.
 
I

Inrar

Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2019
Messages
7
Location
Bristol
Inrar sounds like your "flight, fight or freeze" response is turned up permanently.

Part of the problem is everyone has emotions so it's not something that's easy to avoid. Your reactions at the moment we're survival instincts growing up. As it's instinctive we end up doing these bpd characteristics without realising or thinking.

Yesterday I had a breakthrough. I told someone close to me I have a precursor to personality disorder, he's a very close friend that I was involved with before I came out as masculine. This was the first time that I admitted.
I think you're right - it's why I used drink and drugs most of my life because it supported me in letting go (unfortunately letting go waay to much at times!) now I've cut most of that from my life, I've found myself super uptight and without much of a social life.

I admire your bravery, how did he respond? Has he been supportive since?
One of the things I'm afraid of is that my mental health will be used against me - I've been gaslighted quite a bit in my life and it's not helped in knowing who's going to use it as a weapon against me and who's not.
 
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