Love as the meaning of life

Kerome

Kerome

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#1
I just came across a song text that rather shook me up. It basically said “love is the best life experience of them all... Love is the Opening Door, Love is what we came here for”. And there was a certain recognition in me that this was true.

The irony is that besides the love of my parents, and the love of Osho and the communes, there hasn’t been a lot of love in my life. Basically I never really looked for it... my mother once told me, love will find you, and I kind of trusted that, but it never did. Perhaps I was not open enough for it, for a long time.

But what if it’s true? What if we do come into this life looking for love? I don’t think I’ve ever known the sensation of ‘falling in love’, although I’m very familiar with lust and attraction.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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#2
Kerome, my master use to say, "Love is the Vehicle, Love is the Fuel, Love is the Destination".

In the romantic sense, I just decided that I would find someone after my divorce and unfortunate tour of duty at the psych ward. I kept a look out for that someone. When I met my bf he was just the sort of man I knew I could be helpful to domestically and spiritually. He wanted to be helpful to me and understood that I needed someone to take care of me; he'd been drunk so many years and suddenly realized he forgot to find a woman to be helpful to; that he'd never helped anybody in his life. He's sober 30 years now.

For us, it was our destiny. I love him more now that we've gone through an education in our psychologies and have grown old together. So I hope that it is in your destiny to find someone to share love with. :loveshower:
 
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tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

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#3
Kerome, I think that eros, the lust and attraction, exists to bring people together to begin the work of love....companionship and charity.

Not all of us are made to be coupled tho. I certainly learned to enjoy my single years and was quite cautious to become involved and committed.

I like the "Art of Love" by Erich Fromme.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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#4
Kerome, I think that eros, the lust and attraction, exists to bring people together to begin the work of love....companionship and charity.

Not all of us are made to be coupled tho. I certainly learned to enjoy my single years and was quite cautious to become involved and committed.

I like the "Art of Love" by Erich Fromme.
tiltawhirl, I think it was The Art of Loving and that was one of my favorite books when I was sixteen. I've still got it on my bookshelf. :)

I have a book The Secret of Secrets by Darshan Singh. The secret is we are love, literally, yet we are forever looking for it. :loveshower:
 
T

TheRedStar

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#5
Personally, I think the meaning of life is simply to enjoy it as best you can... providing that enjoyment doesn't hurt others. Really though, I'm not sure there is any one, single purpose... there are so many of us in the world, and so much individual difference, that I figure our life's meaning is for each and every one of us to decide for ourselves.

My issue in this context is that I feel a lot of people try to push their own values here onto others... personally, I'm sick of all the propaganda about 'careers' - I'm not that old, but even so I can remember a time when just having a job was enough... now though, it feels like we're all supposed to be 'aspirational'. I know that the only thing I've ever particularly cared about is love, and when I've articulated that sentiment in the past I've had people express disappointment in me; that I'm 'limiting' myself, and that I could 'do better' than being 'just' a boyfriend/husband.

I am - or, at least, was - quite gifted academically, and I write that here not to brag, but to make a point; if you're good at something, people seem to just assume firstly that you enjoy it, and secondly as though you somehow owe it to the world to take whatever that thing is as far as possible. In short, it feels like a lot of people believe that, essentially, the meaning of life is to do whatever we're good at, but if the individual doesn't enjoy, and/or even particularly value that thing, then his/her life will, ultimately, be unfulfilling.

I've pretty much given up on love - my BPD makes being proactive in this context, as men are expected to be, way too difficult for me to cope with - and the years since I started becoming deliberately avoidant in this regard have felt extremely hollow. The only thing I derive from work is money - there's certainly no 'inner' fulfillment there, as the Protestants try to claim - and friendship is nice, but friends invariably meet someone, have kids, and then fuck off. There's a fair bit of stimulation to be gained from pursuing hobbies, but it's nothing like what you get from affection given by someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them.
 
Boring

Boring

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#6
i'm grateful i wasn't born asexual, i guess. i've not had a girlfriend yet, but i do appreciate my mother's love. and i like the love i get from buds.
 
Prairie Sky

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#7
I think there are plenty of types of love out there other than the romantic type. Realistically not all of us are going to "find love;" does that mean our lives will have been wasted?

I have an uncle that I highly respect and look up to, like a father and older brother rolled into one; he is in his fifties and has not only never dated, but he has never been in love. A week or two ago he told me ironically that some friends have been praying for a wife for him and a husband for me! He told them thanks, but he really wasn't looking for a wife, and he was pretty sure I'm not looking either.

I'm not. If a man falls from the sky and announces he's been sent by God to be my husband... well, I'm not sure what I'd do! But I definitely don't feel I'm living half a life just because I lack a better half.