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Prettyconfused1357

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Oregon
For me, it’s extremely hard to open up. That’s why it is much easier to ask an anonymous question online. I recently turned 20 and my mental health is not the greatest. I have had a self harm problem for years on end now. However, it didn’t reach its worst until I was about 17.

I have never tried to kill myself, as I don’t want to hurt others, but I wish I was dead all the time. I have self harmed seriously. Lately, everything is even worse. There are times I can barely even remember harming, it’s like a trance.

I also haven’t been eating because I’m gaining weight and feel as though not eating means I’m in control. Although, I’ve only been eating one meal a day, I still feel like it’s not enough, that I should eat nothing. Today, I haven’t eaten anything and it honestly makes me feel like I did something right for once. I have struggled with eating problems on and off since the age of 11.

There is so much more going on but I don’t want to go into a lot of detail. I feel worthless, stupid, fat, etc on a constant basis. I feel as if I deserve self harm, I deserve death. I tell myself these things on a regular basis. I feel like nothing. I know posting this online will not give me answers but it helps writing it out. If you’ve read this far, my question is should I seek help? I’ve been wanting an evaluation but I find it so hard to open up in person, especially because I have severe anxiety. Is there a way I can overcome this on my own?
 
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Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
10,948
Location
Nowhere
hi Prettyconfused :welcome: !

well done for writing it out
and yes definitely seek help

maybe you could copy what you have posted here
to take to a profession at the assessment

or re-write it on the basis of what you said here

people here can help
but its best to also have professional help

I think nobody has replied yet
because alot of us are in the UK , and therefore asleep !

:grouphug:🎼🐢🔥🎨
 
EddieH

EddieH

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
Oct 29, 2017
Messages
8,095
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Hi @Prettyconfused1357, Sorry you are stuggling. Have you no psychologist in place? I see one every 2 weeks, they are a great help. It's pretty much a UK based forum so it gets a bit quiet here overnight. Think it is worth talking to a profesional about it. At the very least go to a doctor
 
EddieH

EddieH

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Joined
Oct 29, 2017
Messages
8,095
Location
Melbourne, Australia
I'll be around for most of the day. I've been through funny patches too with my eating. I stopped drinking alcohol and I stopped eating too. Was a strange time in my life. Hope you can work through it. Food is so good, gives me so much happiness, these days.
 
EddieH

EddieH

Well-known member
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Joined
Oct 29, 2017
Messages
8,095
Location
Melbourne, Australia
I am overweight at the moment. You don't have to stop eating to lose weight, thats a pretty extreme approach. I am just going for a few walks a week and eating sensibly. I've lost 7kg in the last year or so. These things take time, and you reach your goals. I still have diabetes but am trying to rectifty that.
 
EddieH

EddieH

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
Oct 29, 2017
Messages
8,095
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Welcome to the forum, too. Pleased you found it. It's a great help here, talking about problems and exhanging ideas. Really friendly community. If you want to take you mind of things head down to the chillout area, it's a great place to interact and have a bit of fun. Welcome
 
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Prettyconfused1357

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Oregon
Thank you :) and I did not realize it was a UK forum, my bad
 
EddieH

EddieH

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
Oct 29, 2017
Messages
8,095
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Doesn't matter, I'm in Australia. Lots of people from around the world. It's really cool to talk to everyone
 
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