- Oct 29, 2020
- Westville, illinois
Well it happened yesterday i have a group of friends that have a group message thing on Facebook. Well I was just joking around with some of my friends about there weight mind you I'm heavy too. Well she took it wrong and even my fiancee was very upset. She said why did I say that and how degrading mind you all my friends we always joke about everything so I wasnt thinking it too be serious well it blew up to something bigger and almost cost my relationship with my fiancee. Well the next morning I apologized on the group message to her well I guess I did t say it right and really offended her this time so she was even madder and made my fiancee even madder mind you this 1woman I made mad is my fiancee's son's aunt hes my stepson. Well now everyone of my friends dont want nothing to do with me. I wrote her a long apology and explained everything but no response. But I got to tell you two weeks ago I began feeling very sick like death and ended up in the er. Everything was out of wack. So then my doctor did an ultrasound and seen my liver failure. Now ever since that day i been getting worse health wise. And i have been diagnosed for many years with borderline personality disorder. But I was feeling in control with it until I got sick and it felt like it was ten times worse. I just feel so much regret because I am always angry never think before I speak and I destroy friendships. It's like a nightmare to me. Now it's almost halloween and the woman I made mad has an annual halloween party well I decided not to go cause it would be awkward and I just know everyone's gonna talk about me too. So I just dont know what to do anymore. I called my doctor today to get a sooner appointment cause i been feeling worse and they i see him tommorrow. I hope maybe i can rebuild something and make it better. Sorry for the rant.