Lost half a stone in 3 days

[Sarax]

I've lost half a stone in 3 days.... I've even had to resort to lying to my family so I can avoid getting made to eat.. Today I told them that I had had a meal from shop when I hadn't but else I knew they'd make me eat tea... I got away with a SMALL bowel of cereal thank god.........

 

[*Sapphire*]

Hi Sarax

I'm not sure what the purpose of your post is, but I thought I'd comment anyway.

I'm not sure what your BMI is however as you have posted in an eating disorders forum then I assume you already know that this kind of starvation diet is not healthy, maintainable or in the range of what most would call normal.

I always find it helpful to look at the facts in situations like this.

Your initial drastic weight loss may actually be to do with the fact that you have little or no food in your stomach. Food absorbs and retains alot of water in your stomach therefore if you don't have much or any food in there the dramatic weight loss is more likely to be to do with loss of water than actual body weight.

Going on a diet of 1000 calories or less a day is likely to put your body in starvation mode, this means that your body starts reserving fat and calories rather than burning them. Any weight loss will be hard to do because your body will be in a state of trying to conserve energy. This can lead to feeling tired, lethargic, emotional and bad tempered.

I assume that your family will not be happy about you entering a diet like this, otherwise why would you start lying to them? Does that tell you anything?

You also seem to have a very secretive and almost childish attitude to how you can keep up this pretence. There seems to be alot of secrecy, deception and reward, "I've even had to resort to lying to my family so I can avoid getting made to eat.." "I got away with a small bowl of cereal, thank god"...but I ask myself who are you really trying to fool? Them or yourself? Because at the end of the day you are not really "getting away" with anything because sooner or later your family will notice what is going on, and if it carries on you will have to wake up to it too.

I'm not having a go. I know how alluring losing weight can be, but I also know where it may lead me, and I must say my ED has led me down the most frightening, lonely, painful and tortuous paths I've ever travelled down or likely to travel down in my life and I have no wish to go back there if I can help it.

 

[Sarax]

I find seeing me lose weight helps with other feelings at mo... It's not like I'm starving myself... My family soon cottoned on within a couple days I hadn't ate anything so I have been eating, plenty I think, a piece of toast for breakfast, soup for lunch or something simular and something tiny like a small bowelbof porridge for tea. I'm not cutting back on drinks Abd still have plenty of energy. Thanks x

 

[*Sapphire*]

I find seeing me lose weight helps with other feelings at mo...

I can understand that. When I'm feeling down the rush of seeing those numbers on the scales go down, must be similar to a rush a heroin addict gets after a hit. However what I found is that the initial rush however great it feels doesn't last very long. And soon that number I saw on the scales that caused me so much elation the next day will piss me off if they haven't gone down again, and I will be looking for my next 'hit' and restrict further or increase my compensatory behaviours.

What I also forget is the sacrifice of pretty much everything else in my life I have to make to make those numbers go down. In the end I sacrificed my sanity, I got to such a low weight I feel I lost my mind for a while...it happens.

The problem is the more weight you lose, the harder it gets to lose it, the worse and more tired and exhausted and depressed you feel which then makes you crave that next 'hit' more to 'control' it. It becomes a viscous cycle.

Yes I lost the weight, but at one point I also lost my home, my job, my family, my friends, my health, my dignity, my freedom and as I said my sanity. If the scales go down, I try to remember that it is likely that all of the above things I have struggled and worked hard to build up in my life are likely to go down too.

I'm glad your family are helping. Have you tried talking to them about your current feelings around weight and food?

 

[Sarax]

No... They dont really know any of it, just those couple days that they caught on that's it. They've never understood where i am coming from wit depression or any form of SH

 

[*Sapphire*]

Parents can often find things like this hard to understand, even if they can understand it with others. I think when it comes to your own children emotions and other things get in the way.

Beat (beat eating disorders) has a site for those who may be suffering with eating disorders and their friends and family. It might be worth having a look at? However I will say their forum rules are strict, I believe they don't allow you to talk about what food you have eaten etc.

Beat

Are you getting any support outside of the home? Are you working or at College/Uni?

 

[Sarax]

I'm working. But keep everything very quiet at work