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Loss of thoughts and coordination? and bad memory

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EclipticNight

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Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
460
Location
Orleans vermont.
To tell someone to “shut the hell up or get back out of the car and walk” is abusive language. Standing up for yourself would be for a person to assertively say something like, “I don’t appreciate your choice of words right now or your tone with me. If you don’t change I won’t be able to drive you anyplace anymore. Your example are aggressive words that are abusive. My example is assertive. You can still get the job done without turning into an abuser like you suggest. xo, j
On this one I think we will have to agree to disagree. I still think once asertive fails demanding followed by cut ties is the way to go. Nevertheless this does reinforce to me at least that I'm still evil and maybe my advice is wrong, maybe my beast has to much control, I cant really say. If this life is indeed hell like I believe I'm right where I should be.
 
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charlieblack5

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Joined
Apr 14, 2021
Messages
45
Location
Uk
I do wonder if the two are linked, anxiety and memory loss. I’m 30, always had a bad memory. But over the last few years I’ve really seen myself struggling - finding the right words, doing the wrong things absentmindedly.

Memory games and puzzles are meant to be good. Maybe you could try something like that if concerned?
 
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strawberrywater

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Joined
Feb 24, 2021
Messages
150
Location
United States
Hi everyone, thanks for your thoughtful replies. I have lost my cool sometimes, but it only escalates things. If I try to have a calm conversation with her, it doesn't work either. She blames everything on me, and she takes zero accountability.

She doesn't drive because her license got suspended for a traffic offense, and for not having it for over 20 years (before I was born). She thinks she's better than most rules of law so she'll never listen to me. She has so many unpaid traffic offenses that I don't understand how she's not in jail. I've paid thousands of dollars in fines for her. She uses her money to buy things she doesn't need (clothes mostly).

I am desperate to leave and have a place of my own, cross country. I'm almost 30 and have nothing of my own - no apartment, no car, no savings, no retirement fund, etc. Please say a little prayer than I can get a job in another state because I would take out a loan to go. I'd do anything. I'm trying to hold off working where I am (but jobs are hard to get here anyway) because my mom always finds ways to take my money.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
7,892
Location
Nashua NH
Hi everyone, thanks for your thoughtful replies. I have lost my cool sometimes, but it only escalates things. If I try to have a calm conversation with her, it doesn't work either. She blames everything on me, and she takes zero accountability.

She doesn't drive because her license got suspended for a traffic offense, and for not having it for over 20 years (before I was born). She thinks she's better than most rules of law so she'll never listen to me. She has so many unpaid traffic offenses that I don't understand how she's not in jail. I've paid thousands of dollars in fines for her. She uses her money to buy things she doesn't need (clothes mostly).

I am desperate to leave and have a place of my own, cross country. I'm almost 30 and have nothing of my own - no apartment, no car, no savings, no retirement fund, etc. Please say a little prayer than I can get a job in another state because I would take out a loan to go. I'd do anything. I'm trying to hold off working where I am (but jobs are hard to get here anyway) because my mom always finds ways to take my money.
Moving out sounds like the right solution. I think you should follow your dreams and relocate to a more desirable area away from the harmful effects of your parents. They probably discourage you from leaving because you clearly do so much for them. It think it’s good to go and try new things while you are young, though. You clearly are a competent and capable person and I’m sure you are up to the challenge. Where there’s a will, there’s a way! xo, j
 
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EclipticNight

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Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
460
Location
Orleans vermont.
When all else has failed breaking contact is best. Do you know how to move to a new state? I can give you tips if you like. I have no doubt your capable of living on your own and be much happier.
 
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