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Loss of thoughts and coordination? and bad memory

S

strawberrywater

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When I get bad anxiety attacks, I lose the ability to think. I'm just blindly upset and have zero coordination. For example, I'll pour coffee then not put creamer in it, when I always put creamer in it. Or I'll put orange juice in it then snap out of it and not know why I did that. I've noticed my memory has gotten worse in the past 10 yrs (I'm in my late 20s).

It happens in the morning, but I sleep so I don't think it's that. I have to get up very early to drive my mom someplace every day and it's too stressful. She yells at me at my driving. Sometimes my dad is with us - which is unnecessary but she forces it because "he needs to get out" Neither drive. He's always extremely anxious in the car, sits in the middle in the back, craning his head in to look at the road and blocks my view. I tell him to move over because I can't see and my mom yells at me "He has a right to sit wherever he wants! Stop complaining!! You make everyone's lives miserable!"

So after this nightmare, I get home and can't think straight. I am completely out of it, like a zombie. It doesn't last past the morning but it leaves me totally exhausted and unmotivated. I have not worked in over a year. I don't know what to do other than get away and be on my own, but it's financially impossible.

How do I not lose my thoughts and coordination? Can I strengthen my memory somehow?
 
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2Much2Feel

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Good question, and I'll be interested to see any advice from others. I fear every day that I'm getting dementia or something. Sounds like you're overwhelmed, for one thing. The car ride did make me laugh a bit only b/c I can relate to it all too well. WTH?? Do you think you can come home from the drive and find something that will ground you, be it music or sitting with your tea outside or mediation, exercise? It sounds like the drive really triggers it. Do you suspect at all that you are depressed? This can totally mess up concentration, memory and coordination (as can lack of sleep, of course, and anxiety itself).
 
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strawberrywater

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Good question, and I'll be interested to see any advice from others. I fear every day that I'm getting dementia or something. Sounds like you're overwhelmed, for one thing. The car ride did make me laugh a bit only b/c I can relate to it all too well. WTH?? Do you think you can come home from the drive and find something that will ground you, be it music or sitting with your tea outside or mediation, exercise? It sounds like the drive really triggers it. Do you suspect at all that you are depressed? This can totally mess up concentration, memory and coordination (as can lack of sleep, of course, and anxiety itself).
I try to ground myself with ambiance noise videos (ocean waves, fire crackling, etc) but idk it doesn't work. I feel too wound up. I've been watching some funny shows and I've found comedy and laughing helps. I definitely have depression although I've never been diagnosed with it, but I've had recurring bad thoughts and don't think good about myself, have little motivation to do anything productive in life, cannot stand most people sadly, cry a lot
 
Lone_wanderer

Lone_wanderer

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@strawberrywater, my ex is extremely anxious over her sons depression caused by him splitting with his narcissist wife. She is losing her train of thought and experiencing memory problems, I was worried she might be developing Alzheimers since she is a good ten years older than me but Psych docs reckon it's just stress and anxiety, she is sometimes dissasociating as well.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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When I get bad anxiety attacks, I lose the ability to think. I'm just blindly upset and have zero coordination. For example, I'll pour coffee then not put creamer in it, when I always put creamer in it. Or I'll put orange juice in it then snap out of it and not know why I did that. I've noticed my memory has gotten worse in the past 10 yrs (I'm in my late 20s).

It happens in the morning, but I sleep so I don't think it's that. I have to get up very early to drive my mom someplace every day and it's too stressful. She yells at me at my driving. Sometimes my dad is with us - which is unnecessary but she forces it because "he needs to get out" Neither drive. He's always extremely anxious in the car, sits in the middle in the back, craning his head in to look at the road and blocks my view. I tell him to move over because I can't see and my mom yells at me "He has a right to sit wherever he wants! Stop complaining!! You make everyone's lives miserable!"

So after this nightmare, I get home and can't think straight. I am completely out of it, like a zombie. It doesn't last past the morning but it leaves me totally exhausted and unmotivated. I have not worked in over a year. I don't know what to do other than get away and be on my own, but it's financially impossible.

How do I not lose my thoughts and coordination? Can I strengthen my memory somehow?
Sounds like symptoms of Depression. Are you on meds?
 
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2Much2Feel

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Also @strawberrywater, never underestimate breathing. Well, I know it doesn't solve all of our problems by any stretch, but if you need help in the immediate moment, it can really switch things up quickly. Breathe in through your nose a deep breath and hold 8 seconds, then exhale through your mouth for twice as long. Repeat this and you will notice it take your anxiety down, your heart doesn't take over as much and you slow down.
 
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strawberrywater

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Sounds like symptoms of Depression. Are you on meds?
I'm not on any meds, never have been. I do feel like I've had depression for a long time. In 2012 I became obsessed with death, then in 2018 I was extremely suicidal after I was dumped by my then boyfriend. I saw a therapist for that but not for long because I couldn't afford it and didn't have time to go to the appointments. I'm not suicidal now but I've also never been treated longer than a couple weeks.
 
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2Much2Feel

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I'm not on any meds, never have been. I do feel like I've had depression for a long time. In 2012 I became obsessed with death, then in 2018 I was extremely suicidal after I was dumped by my then boyfriend. I saw a therapist for that but not for long because I couldn't afford it and didn't have time to go to the appointments. I'm not suicidal now but I've also never been treated longer than a couple weeks.
Yeah, it sounds like something you need to get help for. Are you at least able to do a zoom call w a therapist and try to get a plan of action? It sounds overwhelming, and professional help and maybe meds could really help.
 
E

EclipticNight

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Orleans vermont.
I'm not on any meds, never have been. I do feel like I've had depression for a long time. In 2012 I became obsessed with death, then in 2018 I was extremely suicidal after I was dumped by my then boyfriend. I saw a therapist for that but not for long because I couldn't afford it and didn't have time to go to the appointments. I'm not suicidal now but I've also never been treated longer than a couple weeks.
Have you ever snapped back at your mother? Tell her to shut the hell up or get out of the car and walk. She is mentally abusive so you have every right to do it. Maybe putting her in her place will help you feel empowered and you'll get less attacks. Not to mention it feels good to tell people like that they are worth about as much as a turd in the wind.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Have you ever snapped back at your mother? Tell her to shut the hell up or get out of the car and walk. She is mentally abusive so you have every right to do it. Maybe putting her in her place will help you feel empowered and you'll get less attacks. Not to mention it feels good to tell people like that they are worth about as much as a turd in the wind.
What a terrible thing to say! Sure stand up for yourself but the appropriate response to being abused is not to abuse the abuser!
 
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2Much2Feel

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What a terrible thing to say! Sure stand up for yourself but the appropriate response to being abused is not to abuse the abuser!
Agree. It can feel good for about 3 seconds, then you start the cycle of regret, guilt and shame. Doesn't help anyone.
 
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EclipticNight

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What a terrible thing to say! Sure stand up for yourself but the appropriate response to being abused is not to abuse the abuser!
As someone who endured and still does endure this kind of thing I can say it's not abusing the abuser. Its standing up for yourself. People like that dont stop unless you make them. Back when my mind split and my beast came to be I took action and the bullies in school stopped. I'm not saying to do this all the time, that's abuse but when someone belittles you like that and puts you down and kicks you turning the other cheek is not the answer.

Here's an example, it will be extreme to emphasize the point. Every day you go for a walk and every day the same guy pulls a gun on you and takes your money. Each time you do it or try to talk him out of it and fail. One day you are tired of it, break his wrist and take his gun and toss it into a lake. Again it's silly I know it's just to emphasize the point.

He did you wrong over and over constantly and one day you did him wrong in a way as to prevent him from doing you harm anymore. Bow I didn't say beat him near to death and take his money, that's wrong but defending yourself is not wrong. People take advantage of the overly kind. This is about standing up and saying enough, shut up or gtfo. No one should endure that kind of hate and obviously kindness is not working.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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As someone who endured and still does endure this kind of thing I can say it's not abusing the abuser. Its standing up for yourself. People like that dont stop unless you make them. Back when my mind split and my beast came to be I took action and the bullies in school stopped. I'm not saying to do this all the time, that's abuse but when someone belittles you like that and puts you down and kicks you turning the other cheek is not the answer.

Here's an example, it will be extreme to emphasize the point. Every day you go for a walk and every day the same guy pulls a gun on you and takes your money. Each time you do it or try to talk him out of it and fail. One day you are tired of it, break his wrist and take his gun and toss it into a lake. Again it's silly I know it's just to emphasize the point.

He did you wrong over and over constantly and one day you did him wrong in a way as to prevent him from doing you harm anymore. Bow I didn't say beat him near to death and take his money, that's wrong but defending yourself is not wrong. People take advantage of the overly kind. This is about standing up and saying enough, shut up or gtfo. No one should endure that kind of hate and obviously kindness is not working.
There are other ways to stand up for yourself without abusing the abuser and if someone was mugging you every day you should call the police!
 
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EclipticNight

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There are other ways to stand up for yourself without abusing the abuser and if someone was mugging you every day you should call the police!
The example was an exaggeration to make the point. In real life you would just go a different way the next time if you didn't feel safe. My scenario says the person has to go that way, cant call police and has the same options strawberry has. Accept the abuse, attempt a diplomatic solution and fight back. How long would you take being put down constantly before saying enough? Doing nothing enables the abuser. It gives them permission to hurt you.

Remember it's not abusing the abuser. To be abuse it would have to be unwarranted horrible actions to demean and hurt someone for no good reason. What this is would be self defense. Its answering abuse with self confidence enough to tell them to be quiet. Its incredibly hard to defend yourself and stop, its easy to become a demon.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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The example was an exaggeration to make the point. In real life you would just go a different way the next time if you didn't feel safe. My scenario says the person has to go that way, cant call police and has the same options strawberry has. Accept the abuse, attempt a diplomatic solution and fight back. How long would you take being put down constantly before saying enough? Doing nothing enables the abuser. It gives them permission to hurt you.

Remember it's not abusing the abuser. To be abuse it would have to be unwarranted horrible actions to demean and hurt someone for no good reason. What this is would be self defense. Its answering abuse with self confidence enough to tell them to be quiet. Its incredibly hard to defend yourself and stop, its easy to become a demon.
To tell someone to “shut the hell up or get back out of the car and walk” is abusive language. Standing up for yourself would be for a person to assertively say something like, “I don’t appreciate your choice of words right now or your tone with me. If you don’t change I won’t be able to drive you anyplace anymore. Your example are aggressive words that are abusive. My example is assertive. You can still get the job done without turning into an abuser like you suggest. xo, j
 
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