Loss of pleasure in things...

Topcat

Topcat

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#1
So I'm not feeling like I get pleasure from anything much, but I'm not sure if I'm just misunderstanding what pleasure feels like, or maybe I just don't do particularly enjoyable things?
I used to enjoy food and cooking, it's a chore these days. I have no libido. I struggle to read quite often as I don't get into books like I used to. I used to enjoy working outdoors/gardening - takes far more effort now. I don't enjoy socialising. Don't enjoy music like I used to.... I still do all sorts of things, it just feels like it takes effort and I feel more of an accomplishment that I managed it rather than enjoyment.
What sort of things do people enjoy and how does it make you feel?
 
InfiniteRectangles

InfiniteRectangles

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#2
I understand. I went through a similar funk for over a year. I just recently came out of it. I didn't enjoy the things I used to. Everything was a chore. Eventually it passed and now I can enjoy things again. Sorry I don't really have any advice for you. Just hang in there, it will pass.

Take care :hug1:
 
Kerome

Kerome

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#3
It sounds like a bit of depression... i’ve had this in the past where you suddenly don’t enjoy things as much anymore. I have a large collection of dvd’s, which I occasionally go back to. I really enjoy my morning coffee, when I’m still half asleep. I enjoy watching cycling tours on tv, they show you a lot of the countryside.
 
Topcat

Topcat

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#4
Other people have said it sounds like depression, it just doesn't feel like it to me. Maybe mildly. I'm just plodding through day by day getting on with stuff, things do feel harder to do than they should, but depression is worse.
 
T

TheRedStar

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#5
All of what you outlined are textbook symptoms of depression, so I'm not surprised other people have suggested that as a possibility. However, I think there are factors to consider with each individual issue:

Food and cooking: Could it be because having to try and satisfy... five?... people's differing tastes on a daily basis has caused you to associate being in the kitchen with a thankless task? Plus, you also have the mental association between food and a job you don't like.

Libido: For obvious reasons I don't want to go too deep with this, and I'm not expecting a reply. My thought here is that it's important to try and distinguish whether you have no libido per se, or no libido when it comes to your husband.

Struggling to read: Could that be because you're never left in peace long enough to get into a book?

Working outdoors: When you say that it takes more effort nowadays, is that a physical thing (i.e. it causes you pain)? If so... unfortunately, it's unavoidable; the body ageing will invariably make physical pursuits less fun. I don't mean to seem glib or dismissive... I just hope it can be of some consolation to remember that this particular factor is something which affects everyone's lives.

Socialising: A bit like with your libido, is the problem with socialising per se, or is it to do with the options for socialising currently available to you (i.e. the activities/settings, the people, or both)?

Of the all sorts of things you still do, how many of them are actually tasks that are generally considered to be fundamentally enjoyable? My point there is whether the issue is with you, or with the things you're doing... some things just aren't much fun and never will be. Heh, just generally being an adult is a bit poo most of the time...
 
Topcat

Topcat

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#6
Food and cooking: yes you're completely right and I say the same. I think the issue here is food/nutrition/cooking have long been my biggest source of obsession - when I got them, so I think I've really noticed losing all interest. I was still getting into it early this year as with work I was learning new stuff with Italian cooking, so had a short obsession. Now I just couldn't care less, and don't even enjoy eating anything. It's all just a chore. I don't even care if customers like what I make whereas I used to get some pleasure from that.

Libido: I really don't know. It's never been high beyond teenage years. The negative associations I had a lot have gone too, I don't really have any feelings towards sex one way or the other any more. Happy to oblige occasionally, but never actually fancy it at all, is how it is I suppose.

Reading: I have time in the evening to read, I don't really enjoy much on TV, so husband has the controller. I try to read but just feel like I'm not concentrating or enjoying the story, end up doing pointless crap on my tablet. Completely bored of the internet too, but I keep looking at it. Maybe that's the problem.

Working outdoors: Not so much a physical problem. I like to grow food, I will plan what I'm going to do in winter and get ground prepared, read about gardening stuff, start seeds off etc then I lose interest - whereas I used to see it through all summer to harvest and felt real positive benefits from working outdoors. It becomes another chore to plant everything out, then I just neglect it all and even feel resentment that I am supposed to keep it all alive. I try and keep it more low maintenance to allow for this, but I still have no interest in it any more.

Socialising: I really don't know here. I probably have lots of options with all sorts of people if I made an effort and asked, I think social anxiety may be worse than it used to be. I've never been a social butterfly, but did spend time with other people fairly regularly. Maybe I'm just becoming an old grouch who hates people, I'm becoming my dad.....

Being an adult is poo. Everything other than staying in bed feels like hard bloody work.
 
Brazenh

Brazenh

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#7
I lost my enjoyment of food and cooking but that is mainly because good food is just not about any more. I bought a piece of fish last week that had no taste, food is just a number now, calories on a plate.
And losing something you love is horrible.
Go out buy something you have never tried before cook it for yourself the way you want it.
When I was really down at one point I bought a zebra steak (yes it is legal to eat zebra) lightly fried in butter with sweet potato mash. It gave me something to break up the misery.
 
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P

Positivity

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#8
Wow; thankyou for sharing.

I have been feeling the same.

It is great to hear that this phase passed.

I didn't want to read and run so I wanted you to know that I have been feeling the same but worse.
 
A

andrewreiki

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#9
This I believe is just a phase in your life which it should pass. I would advise you try doing different things, doing new things instead of keep trying doing what you have been alywas doing. This should help long term. It might feel like a struggle to start doing new things in this condition, but I believe this will help you in the future. It might rush things up and get back to business faster and you being a better and more elevated human being on the other end.
 
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