Loss of motivation

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Dissonance

New member
Joined
Nov 24, 2015
Messages
1
#1
In the past I've struggled with anxiety and overcome it, now I'm quite an outgoing person who doesn't care much what people think of me. I'm achieving good passes in college and setting myself up for a good future by gaining practical experience. But when I think about that future I realise that there is nothing in it I will enjoy. The few activities I do in my spare time bring me no joy, and I now see life and all it has to offer as a distraction from the fact that I'll one day die and nothing will have mattered.

If it weren't for my obligations to family and those who care about me, I would gladly die in my sleep. I don't think this is a matter of me feeling suicidal because of something wrong with me, but just that I feel this world has nothing to offer me. There are no causes I feel strongly about that I can make any appreciable difference to. Nothing I love enough to continue living for, besides the feelings of those close to me. Living is painful to me and I see death as a much needed relief.

I fear that I'll play out the rest of my life in this misery until everyone who cares about me disappears so that I have no one left to hurt through my suicide. Aside from this I see two options; be selfish towards those who care about me and kill myself now anyway or try to lie to myself that I still enjoy my life and that it actually matters. None of my options appeal to me. Being honest I don't know why I posted this, I don't think I was even looking for advice or help. Think I just wanted to vent.
 
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MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,096
#2
Welcome to the forum.

I hope having the vent makes you feel a little more relaxed.

Take care

Marliee x
 
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misssadness

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Aug 3, 2015
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#3
Hello Dissonance and welcome to the forum. You sound like you could be suffering with depression as you are no longer interested in things nor finding enjoyment in the things you once did. Do you think this could be possible? I am so sorry you are struggling so much. I also feel I have nothing in my life which is why I got a pet. My animals give me a reason to live as I need to care for them and they are my world. Having to take care of an animal can really help people. Do you like animals?
 
BorderlineDownunder

BorderlineDownunder

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2015
Messages
17,156
#4
Hi Dissonance

You have loved ones and you care about hurting them.

That's a truly wonderful thing

Hold on to the Light

This too will pass
 

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