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Losing my mind and my boyfriend to paranoia

S

soar101

New member
Joined
Dec 6, 2014
Messages
2
Me and my boyfriend have been together for two years. Its been turbulent to say the least. The first 6 months were marred by his excessive drinking and bad behavior. Then he quit drinking and completely stepped up to the plate in treating me well, etc. But I remain stuck on the past and paranoid he will cheat or just flat out leave me for another. No particular "another".....it seems no one is out of my radar of who I will accuse him of cheating with. It hurts him a lot that despite all of his changes to make our relationship better, here we are a year and a half later and I am still a paranoid wreck. 3 days ago a couple moved into our apartment building. A COUPLE, as in a boyfriend and girlfriend...yet my mind still is full of obsessive thoughts my guy will pursue her or vice versa. I want no part of them and they are already asking us to "hang out". I am truly losing my mind. And this girl is just my latest fixation. There have been many others before. In fact to be honest I pretty much fill with paranoia whenever he is out of my sight. I do not know what to do. He says my lack of trust and my jealousy is going to destroy us. Please offer any advice or kind words please. I am losing it.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Welcome to the forum.

In the kindest possible way, it seems from what you've said that the issue is with you.
You haven't said that your boyfriend has cheated previously or given you reason to be suspicious, and so shown you no reason to distrust him.
Unfortunately with situations like this, it can become a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy and end up driving someone away.

I don't want to make assumptions, but it seems like you need to really start believing in yourself as a person and accept that you have a lot of positive traits.
It might be worth maybe buying some self-help books to help you improve your self-esteem.
At the end of the day, until you can see that you are valuable and are worth loving, then i'm not sure how the situation can change.. the man you're with can only do so much to "prove" himself.
 
S

soar101

New member
Joined
Dec 6, 2014
Messages
2
thank you. I really feel like I am cracking up lately. I KNOW I need to seek some help, I just can't really afford it. He has put up with this for a long time and I don't know why I am always sabotaging things and always feel not good enough and that I can't be left at the drop of a hat. Yes, like many I have abandonment issues from my dad leaving never to be seen or heard from again when I was little. But lots of people have that happen and go on to be more emotionally healthy than I am. I have no coping skills. No emotional intelligence. And I really feel I am losing it.
 
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