- Nov 28, 2019
I feel lost. ive felt this way for a long time now. I have aniexty, depression & adhd. All unmedicated because i thought i could handle it all on my own, but its seeming like i cant. I am scheduled to see a psychologist next month but my hopes are low... Im writing on here today to see if maybe just mayyyybe theres someone out there whos like me.. my life is full of people who just dont seem to understand. My biggest problem with my mental health is my emotional/angry outburst as well as my depression. No matter the good in my life i just cant be happy and im always a ticking bomb ready to go off. I try to control it i really do but its like i don't have a filter.. it just happens and everyone around me seems to think its something i choose to do... like i wake in the morning wanting to be this way.. i dont. it effects every part of my life.. i lost many friends cause ive pushed them away... my boyfriend seems to think its all in my head and tells me things like "grow up" & " why are you like this" and much more similar things that just make me feel soo terrible about myself. Then turns around and "feels bad" for other people with mental illness which really hurts.... then ontop of that pushes me away because my emotions make him uncomfortable. the worst part about all that is i made sure he knew very well about my mental health before we dated and constantly tell him to leave if he cant handle it and he keeps claiming its not a problem although he drives me to some pretty big freakouts that i never experienced before him. Im so stuck in my head all of the time, and i feel so isolated and im hoping maybe theres someone out there that may have/had this same problen and could lead me in a better direction. Ive never reached out like this before and kinda scared.. but im loosing hope.