Loosing the plot.

[aufo8mycow]

Hi guys.

I'm a new member, so please forgive me putting this in the wrong place, I just hope some of you can help.

I know non of you are Doctors, so can't diagnose but perhaps some of you have the same symptoms as me, so can point me in the right direction.

I went to the Doctor today, he was so horrible, I couldn't tell him what was wrong with me, instead I talked about a mole that was a bit infected and my heartburn... he was so sharp with me, calling me by my surname, without even a Mr... it was almost like I had spoiled whatever it was he was doing before I walked in.. anyway, first time I have plucked up the courage to go in ages, now I feel, I'm just the royal pain in the arse.

Anyway, sorry, I can see this is getting too long already, Now I havn't been diagnosed with anything before, as I have always just 'got on with it'.. but over the last year, its been getting harder and harder... my symptoms are as follows:

Mum died about 10 years ago, not in grief now or anything.. but have been down for about 10 years.
I don't seem to be emotional in anyway
Anxious and jumpy most of the times, espcecially when I get up
Can't sleep at night, when I do get to sleep.. I end up getting up at 11am
Paranoid that people talk about me when I am outside... the way I look etc.
I get confused, for instance, I can be out driving somewhere and cannot remember where I am or where I am going.. only lasts say 30 seconds.. then I click
Really forgetful, down to someone asking perhaps for 2 apples and as soon as they have said it, I have forgotten.
Very Clumsy.
I feel life is pointless, even though I have a degree in Geology.. there is just no point to anything
I don't want to go outside, especially if there is alot of people
Was suicidal last year for a time.. although I'm not now
No motivation at all
Not sure if this means anything but I couldn't talk until I was nearly 4, everyone thought I was deaf.. and I couldn't add up until I was 8 or tell the time.. as an adult I am dyslexic.. but not sure if I have something even from childhood, that is coming out in these symptoms.. not sure.

I do have high blood pressure, I am in my 20's and male.. I am also Gay.. which I know for a lot of people can lead to mental health problems.. however, I don't have an issue with my sexuality, so don't think it's that.

Also, now as I write this I know what you will all think... but I do see Ghosts.. and have done since I was 2 years old, however I have been seeing and feeling more lately which I feel has something to do with how I am feeling.. but obviously, being scared doesn't help your mental process' I don't hear voices usually.. although have heard my mum a couple of times, or someone calling my name.. but I see words, if that makes sense.. like names.. so I'm guessing it's not schizophrenia.

Anyway, that's about it really.. I think in all of that I am trying to say I feel down but it's stopping me making friends and I feel so lonley.

If anyone has the same issues, perhaps you can right them here or get in touch as I feel I have lost the plot.

Thanks again and sorry it was so long.

Chris

 

[Fallen Angel]

Hi Chris and to the forum,

Sorry to hear about your mum and about everything you have been struggling with. I struggle to sleep and am often anxoius which has caused me to become quite isolated and have struggled to build relationships with people. Its not uncommon for anxiety and depression to occur at the same time, which might be true in your case? (and mine)

Sorry your doctor was such a twat! Amazing isn't it, you would think they were there because they care about people?? but lots of them do so it might be worth seeing another one?? If you can I would go and speak about all your syptoms, believe me , I know thats not easy, took me and likley most others on here along time to do that. You deserve the help and support!!

I get easily confused and very forgetful as my head tends to be full of a thousand thoughts all along a different theme most of the time! often worse if I am particularly down. and as for seeing ghosts, not odd at all, if thats you, then thats you! might be related to your mental health or might not?? not a medical person so no idea?

My advice would be to maybe check out some websites on mental health - MIND, Rethink are good and go see another doctor, remember you deserve to have the help and support you need!! and keep posting here!! keep us updated!

Take Care Chris,

Angel

 

[aufo8mycow]

Thanks for the kind words Angel Yup, I asked the receptionist if I could see another Doctor, so got an appointment on Thursday, looking back there are so many things I wanted to say about how he treated me, but hey, they can be rude to you.. but not vice versa! (NHS doesn't tolerate verbal abuse) Anyway, hope the chap on thursday is nice

As for the Ghosts, I have been seeing them since I was 2, so certainly pre dates my current problems over the last 10 years and can happen even when I am happy (whatever that means) the las time was a couple of weeks ago when I was in bed.. anyway, shan't bore you all with the gory details.

Still thanks for the reply and will let you know how I get on

Have a good evening

Chris

 

[Dollit]

Hi Chris, I have bipolar disorder and a lot of your symptoms appear to be same as when I have a depressive phase. Depression can go from being low grade where you can still function reasonably well to high grade where functioning is difficult.

Some GPs have little or no experience of mental health problems in their practice or qualified in a less enlightened time. But they should all be polite and courteous.

Print of the list of your symptoms and take it with you - it's sometimes easier than trying to remember everything. The experience you talk of when you're driving sounds like dissociation which happens to me and I always look upon it as a protective mechanism as it always happens when I'm stressed.

Just look after yourself and keep coming back.