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Looking for someone to message with about my social anxiety

OCDguy

OCDguy

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Yeah I agree, they do generally come from negative experiences in high school for me.

And I’ve heard the videotape yourself idea, I just haven’t gotten the motivation to try it yet. It does seem like it may be a good idea. It reminds me of a time recently when I was talking to a guy who was in his car and I was able to glance at my reflection in my window while we talked and I didn’t have a weird expression on even though I felt that I might have.

Part of me wonders if I can perfect a fake smile and fake laugh and the ability to do them whenever that I will feel more comfortable in social situations. It may take some practice though.

thanks
If I am honest I think you are over-thinking this. When I see myself smiling in a really relaxed fashion I don't always like the reflection I see of myself (I'm not saying your natural smile is anything like mine and filming yourself might in itself disolve your worries/fears etc.), but the point I am making is people are far less judgemental than you might currently believe. If your concerns date back to your younger years when you were mixing with children etc. still trying to develop and find their way in life, be assured adults don't have the same mindsets. Most people are too wrapped up in their own issues to micro-criticise others, and most people have had knocks in life, which does humble them somewhat (perhaps you can relate)? In short people generally build pictures of others on the things that do matter, which very often comes down to someone's integrity. This is why things like honesty (with yourself and others), loyalty and having a genuine caring interest in others really counts. If you are respectful of others and can make them feel valued/accepted etc. you can't go far wrong. There are many other ways to connect with others, but hopefully this has been of some help. :)
 
Henryk34

Henryk34

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If I am honest I think you are over-thinking this. When I see myself smiling in a really relaxed fashion I don't always like the reflection I see of myself (I'm not saying your natural smile is anything like mine and filming yourself might in itself disolve your worries/fears etc.), but the point I am making is people are far less judgemental than you might currently believe. If your concerns date back to your younger years when you were mixing with children etc. still trying to develop and find their way in life, be assured adults don't have the same mindsets. Most people are too wrapped up in their own issues to micro-criticise others, and most people have had knocks in life, which does humble them somewhat (perhaps you can relate)? In short people generally build pictures of others on the things that do matter, which very often comes down to someone's integrity. This is why things like honesty (with yourself and others), loyalty and having a genuine caring interest in others really counts. If you are respectful of others and can make them feel valued/accepted etc. you can't go far wrong. There are many other ways to connect with others, but hopefully this has been of some help. :)
Thanks yeah that’s a good point about adults not being as judgmental as kids about this kind of stuff. For me, it’s one thing to know intellectually that others won’t really care much if I appear anxious, but it’s another to feel it in the moment when I’m not performing how I want to in an interaction, such as when someone is laughing and then I laugh awkwardly and then my lips start trembling. I can’t stop my body’s physical reaction to the stimulus and I would hate for others to pity me for it.
 
Henryk34

Henryk34

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And good point about people caring more about someone being a good person and noble in their behavior
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Thanks yeah that’s a good point about adults not being as judgmental as kids about this kind of stuff. For me, it’s one thing to know intellectually that others won’t really care much if I appear anxious, but it’s another to feel it in the moment when I’m not performing how I want to in an interaction, such as when someone is laughing and then I laugh awkwardly and then my lips start trembling. I can’t stop my body’s physical reaction to the stimulus and I would hate for others to pity me for it.
I wonder if there's something going through your sub-consious making you laugh awkwardly? Or could it just be being self-consious about laughing. Laughter is good, we should do more of it :)
 
Henryk34

Henryk34

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I wonder if there's something going through your sub-consious making you laugh awkwardly? Or could it just be being self-consious about laughing. Laughter is good, we should do more of it :)
Laughing causes physiological arousal that makes me feel uncomfortable during social interactions. I only feel comfortable if I’m calm. My body interprets the sensation of laughing as a threat unfortunately. It’s horrible
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Laughing causes physiological arousal that makes me feel uncomfortable during social interactions. I only feel comfortable if I’m calm. My body interprets the sensation of laughing as a threat unfortunately. It’s horrible
Could this be something you could work through with a Therapist :hug:
 
Henryk34

Henryk34

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Could this be something you could work through with a Therapist :hug:
Yes my new insurance kicks in tomorrow and I am searching for one this weekend

thanks for listening!
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Yes my new insurance kicks in tomorrow and I am searching for one this weekend

thanks for listening!
It's great to chat and bounce thoughts etc. backwards and forwards :)
 
M

Mav2126

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Hi, I’m a 24-year-old guy from New England, USA with social anxiety. My social anxiety manifests itself as a great difficulty in smiling and laughing around others. I sometimes experience blushing and lip quivering as well.



What is the most painful for me is that I developed social anxiety later in life than most. I had no social anxiety until senior year of high school. Before that, I was incredibly extroverted and I was also popular in school. In senior year, unfortunately, a sports injury which sidelined me led into some negative thought patterns and a habitual isolation that began to manifest in intense social anxiety. An additional factor that contributed was that I hit puberty quite late and had some deep self-esteem issues related to this perceived inadequacy. I spent much of college attempting to get back to the confident social person that I was for most of high school, with little success and a fair amount of reliance on alcohol in social situations.



I graduated with a degree in nursing and recently left a day position at a great hospital because the social interaction was too much for me. I am now working the night shift (less interactions with patients/coworkers) and this combined with wearing a mask and taking a small dose of kratom nightly helps mitigate much of my anxiety at work.



I would love to message with anyone about their struggles with social anxiety because the isolation and intrusive thoughts about what my current life would be like had I not developed social anxiety are overwhelming sometimes.



Thanks for reading :)
Feel free to message me anytime. I am happy to discuss the pain and suffering that occurs with social anxiety. It really sucks.
 

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