Looking for some virtual encouragement.

D

doglovinglou

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Nov 21, 2012
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Hi.

I've recently started CBT to help me gain independence and to become less reliant on my mum for help.

However, I have a HUGE challenge this week and might sound silly to some, but it's putting petrol in my car! Something I've never done before! Of course, this is my top most anxious and scary thing on my scale of "feared and avoided" situations. Not quite sure why my therapist has gone from one end of the scale to this level, but I know it's a key to unlocking a great deal of independence.

I guess I'm just looking for some virtual encouragement really. I don't know anyone outside my family who can really build me up, and I fear that come Saturday ( when I plan to try this ) I'd have crashed from my positive high today, to not being able to do it at all. I do realise my thinking is irrational and that it's an everyday common thing that everyone does, but my fear is messing things up, becoming embarrassed, being pressurised by people waiting behind, being watched AND having to pay inside the garage! To top things off my mum today is like you have to control the nozzle thingy to not make the numbers go to fast etc and I'm just feeling confused. Is it easy to do? :redface:
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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hi
im reliant upon my mum for almost everything
xx
so done be embarrassed I will try give you some virtual support
xx
its hard to try be independent when relying on people for a long time and when lots of things in life feel a struggle
xx
good luck with getting the petrol alone
 
pepecat

pepecat

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It's ok...., if you try and put petrol in too fast these days, the nozzle automatically cuts out for safety reasons. So you just have to find the point where it goes at an ok speed, but not too fast. Really, it's ok.
Open the petrol cap, take the nozzle off the pump (make sure it's the right petrol cos you really don't want to put diesel in a petrol car and vice versa). The numbers on the pump will go back to 00000 and then the pump will start whirring. The person inside the garage does that bit so it might take a minute or so, as they have to have payment from the previous person before you get your petrol.
Stick the nozzle in your tank, and squeeze.
Replace nozzle on pump, check pump number and go pay.

When I started driving I was scared of getting petrol and there was one garage in town where an attendant would come up to the car window and do the petrol for you, so I used to go there. Then my dad showed me how to do it myself and its been fine ever since.
Anything you've never done before is scary the first time you do it, and then the more you do it the less scary it gets. Choose a nice quiet time of day to go on Saturday (8am should be fine!) and then you won't have pressure from people behind you at the pump.
 
C

chocolatebox123

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Good luck. I know you can do this. It may seem like a massive thing at the moment but you will feel a huge sense of achievement when you have done it.

It is great that you have been able to write about it here as everyone here is very supportive and encouraging.

Like pepecat says, anything new seems daunting and scary but I can reassure you that it will all be fine.

xxx
 
krista

krista

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good luck! every step is important and this is huge!
maybe for your first time you could choose a less popular place and less busy time at the petrol station? just to ease into..
 
C

clouds

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Sending lots of virtual encouragement, it doesn't sound silly and was one of the things I was terrified of doing at first but you'll be ok:) Going at a quieter time somewhere less busy is a good idea xx
 
Hellbilly

Hellbilly

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Break it down into smaller pieces
One piece at a time if you need to
Try just driving to filling station
Then next time try driving in and buying something from the shop newspaper or something keep doing it till its natural
Then when the time comes dont even think about it fill your head with what your gonna do after you filled up
The first couple times I went it freaked me right out .but I just drove around till it was quieter and went for it
Good luck
 
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