Looking for some insight and advice

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Ellipsis

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Dec 5, 2016
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Hello everyone. First time poster on any kind of mental health board so it's all a bit daunting for me, i'm usually not much of a talker but things are getting so out of hand I was hoping to get an outside perspective of my situation. I apologize if this is too long or seems like a rant.

I've suffered from anxiety and depression for around 10 years now with my proper diagnosis being made when I was in my late teens after a major panic attack that sent me to A&E. Since then i've tried a variety of treatments that have worked on and off but never felt like I ever really got to the root of the problem.

My condition reached an all time low this year when I was fired from my job on capability grounds with my managers bullying me through the whole process. I was accused of being negligent which could have caused the death of someone despite me not being paid to deal with that kind of responsibility.

Long story short, I was referred to OH 4 times during my absence and all 4 times I was told there was nothing they could do for me.

Since leaving work and becoming unemployed, i've found it very hard to cope in almost all situations. I've become reclusive and avoid social situations due to fear of being judged or having a panic attack. I was due to go to further education but had to leave on the first day because I couldn't cope in a room of strangers.

I had a discussion with my doctor recently and was diagnosed with Social Anxiety and Endogenous Depression. He referred me to the CMHT while also upping my current medication to the max dose. Since then i've seen the a CPN three times and I feel like she isn't taking me seriously and is looking for any excuse to blame me for how bad my condition is.

Any attempt i've made to get my feelings and thoughts across have been dismissed as "not having anything to do" and went so far as to suggest that I didn't give my education placement a chance and just gave up too easily. She's adamant that she won't change my medication despite it not working for me and told me that medication will only do half the work and I need to do the rest.

She's referred me to Occupational Health again despite me saying over and over that my job is what triggered this episode to begin with and that all I want is to see someone and try something different since the other treatment didn't help. She won't put me on any therapy because she thinks retreading old ground won't help, but in the same session tells me to go over material from past therapy sessions which didn't even work in the first place.

I'm tired, i'm mentally exhausted and my anxiety is so bad that I don't even have the courage to confront her about any of this and dread every appointment I have with her. Has anyone else had similar issues with their CMHT?

Again, sorry for the long rant, just needed to get it all off my chest somehow.
 
calypso

calypso

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I'm sorry I am going to say :welcome: and go but its late for me to be up. CMHT are the same the country over. But you can ask the pdoc to offer some actualy therapy for you and you are entitled to it. Referring you back again and again to a system that doesn't work is ridiculous. Iknow I get bored saying it, but when we are at our most vulnerable is when we are needing to be strongest and fight for ourselves.

You sound like you could do with an advocate - would there be any mileage in explaining your situation to MIND and asking if they can help you? I had to fight and it was exhausting.
 
E

Ellipsis

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Dec 5, 2016
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Thanks for the advice Calypso, sadly MIND don't operate in my area but there is another advocacy service where I live that I could refer myself to. I have an appointment with the CPN tomorrow so i'll try again to ask for therapy but she seems to have her mind set on what I should be doing instead of listening to me. If I don't get anywhere i'll go back to my GP since he's been the most helpful in this whole mess and see about getting an advocate. I honestly feel for anyone out there who might be suffering from suicidal thoughts and such if this is the kind of treatment they can expect from people who are supposed to be professionals.
 

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