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Looking for my way

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daisychains

Member
Joined
Feb 3, 2009
Messages
6
Hi everyone

Thought I would start by posting here and maybe someone could show me which part of the forum I should use.

Well so much going on don't know where to start, maybe a little bit about me.

First admitted to a psychiatric hospital in 2000 aged 17. No diagnoses or treatment, can't remember why I was admitted really, anyway after leaving there I thumbed a lift across the country and went on a mad party binge for about 7 years, got involved in all sorts of unsavoury activities. Anyway end of 2006 things started going really down hill. I ended up being hospitalized for depression. Was in a few weeks and discharged with no medication and a diagnoses of depression. So year 2007 was a strange one, I stopped going out much and became withdrawn and dependent on valium, alcohol and cannabis. Summer 2007 I saw a doctor, she diagnosed me with depression, anxiety and agroaphobia (sorry spelling!), no treatment she put in a referral to the psychiatrist. So went to see him, he diagnosed me with dissociation disorder and post traumatic stress (due to childhood abuse). That winter I ended up going a bit crazy and ended up being sectioned. I was then given a further diagnoses of borderline personality disorder and poly substance abuse.

Sorry this is getting long isn't it......So I was then put on medication and was sent home, from then on I have been well. Well I think I have anyway. But things recently have gone crazy. I discovered I was pregnant and stopped taking the medication but I stayed well, I had appointments and assessments and no concerns were raised. I gave birth to a little boy who I love with all my heart and want to care for, social services have placed him in foster care and are dragging me through the courts and going through all psychiartic and psychology assessments. I hope to get full custody of him soon.

But I went to my psychiatrist appointment and I have now been diagnosed with hypermania bipolar disorder as well. Last week I was given a script for quetiapine which I am too scared to take because he has started me off at 400m/g which I think is way too much and I have had a letter from DLA saying I have been awarded high rate care and low rate mobility indefinitly. I don't understand, I feel fine, I don't think there is anything wrong with me. My plans for life was to fight for my son, do some education and try to get some normality in my life but everyone seems to think I am really ill.

Is it possible to have all these disorders at once?

Is it possible to care for child if you do have these disorders?

Is 400m/g quetiapine a bit heavy to start off on? I have so much to do with contact with my baby, courts, assessents, solicitors I can't afford to sit like a zombie but if I don't take them will I be making it worse?

Please someone help me clarify what the hell is going on.

Thanks for reading xxx
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,719
Location
Yorkshire
Hi Daisychains,

I'm afraid that I don't have any answers to your questions but I'm confident that someone here will be able to give you an opinion on most of them. It sounds like you've had an awfull time so well done for just wanting to get things sorted, especially with your son. I hope that you've found the right place here for some of the support and help you need. Take care and welcome to the forum.
 
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Dollit

Guest
Hi Daisy. Take a deep breath, that's quite a lot to get off your chest at once.

What you've written as hypermania bipolar disorder is hypomania and is often referred to as Bipolar II. It's the same as Bipolar I but without the psychosis.

If you've been diagnosed as having depression in the past and you now have a diagnosis of Bipolar II that just swapping one diagnosis for another. An awful lot of people with Bipolar have other things wrong with them. I have Bipolar I and am sub OCD, have anxiety problems.

Dissociation disorder is a way of coping with what your mind finds too difficult and if you're seeing a psychiatrist hopefully you'll be able to work through that.

The patient information leaflet says that Quetiapine is usually started at 300mg and increased to 600mg so going by that 400mg is pretty much in the range.

As for where to post - that's up to you but if you have a lot you want to say about everything then I'd go down to the journal section and open yourself a blog. I have one there and I use it as a sort of diary. Other people pop in to say hello.

And welcome to the forum
 
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daisychains

Member
Joined
Feb 3, 2009
Messages
6
Thanks both for the replies. Yes I did have a little rant there sorry about that. It is strange that bipolar II or hypermania is considered the same as bipolar I but without the psychosis yet I have been hospitalised during a psychotic episode....Me thinks the new Dr hasn't read the notes, but thats his problem I guess. To be honest I think that whatever was wrong with me has gone and I am all better......Strange how you go into a Dr and ask for help they shun you, tell them you feel great they are writing out scripts!!!!

I am glad that I have found this forum and hope that I will be able to offer others some support too
 
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Dollit

Guest
You did say you'd done drugs and alcohol and they can cause psychosis also. In my case pretty bad psychosis but I had to be stopped drugs and alcohol for 3 years before they would make a diagnosis. So the doctors aren't necessarily wrong but they may just be waiting to see what happens. Bipolar Disorder has so much going on in times of crisis it's difficult to split it up into manageable lumps.

I do notice that you're say you're feeling better but that doesn't mean that the diagnosis is wrong or that you're "cured". Lots of bipolar people go through long patches of stability - my last one was 18 months followed by a six month blip and now stable again.

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/mentalhealthproblems/bipolarmanicdepression.aspx

There's a series of leaflets at that link that are worth looking at.
 
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daisychains

Member
Joined
Feb 3, 2009
Messages
6
Thanks for the link, an interesting read. I have been clean from drugs for almost a year now and I am finding that now I am clean Drs do take me more seriously and are more willing to help and spend more time talking to me, when I was using they always put it down to me being stoned haha.

Maybe this time the Dr is right with his diagnoses, what is the prognosis for hypermania? Should I take the medication even if I feel I don't need it?

I should probably be asking these questions in the right forum...sorry

Thanks for your help
 
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Dollit

Guest
This is a fine place to ask questions and it is your introduction.

If you want a prognosis you need to spend time with your doctor and it's a matter of wait and see with a new diagnosis. Lots of people with bipolar continue to have good and productive lives. I've has 8 years out of the workplace but whilst I've been at home I've slowly built up with voluntary work and I'm working at such a level now it's unbelievable the decisions I get to influence. So there is always hope.

Build up a rapport with your doctor so that you have a relationship that allows you a say in medications etc.

Keep on taking the medication - bipolar is a wonderful liar and always tells you that you're better than you actually are.
 
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saffron

Guest
hi and welcome
well I think you are doing afantastic job in focusing on your son and future by wanting to go to college ect. I really thin they miss the point in not encouraging this positve outlook but rather focus on what you went through at a younger Age. do you feel that they are still assessing you by what you used to feel than what you want to achieve now.
you say you feel fine, and yet they are bombarding you with probabilities, that are not proved just speculated.
you obviously want to prove yourself beyond the stereotype they have put you under, but with out full knowledge of your past, do you think it is justified?
people change and should be encouraged to perform to their optimum, they seem to be coming up with a host of medical terms but are not able to give you guidance and advice about it.
It just doesnt seem that productive, by what you have said, sorry if I have read this wrong.
If you really want to prove that you are the parent you feel you are ask them how you can prove it, what do you have to do, and that they should not judge you now by what has happened in the past, they have to take that into consideration of course, but also they have to take into consideration what you are capable of now as well and balance it out.
I feel for your anguish, you seem to be in a rut, a catch 22.
I also think that even though the past may have been hard you should not be discriminated for it. I feel your frustration. and am pissed I cannot give you the answer you wanted but there is always hope, just keep fighting.

take care
S
 
bluenomore

bluenomore

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2009
Messages
5,527
no answers... just a hug <<<daisychains>>>

Note to management: Hmmm... No hug smilies????

x blue
 
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Dollit

Guest
Two hug smilies Blue - bottom row, extreme right is a group hug and beside it to the left is a simple hug!

As in :grouphug:

and :hug:
 
bluenomore

bluenomore

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2009
Messages
5,527
Ooops :redface:

Thanks for pointing that out. Dunno how I missed them!
Ok, let's try that again...

:hug:
:grouphug:

Ahh, that's better :D

x blue
 
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darkorchid30

Active member
Joined
Feb 2, 2009
Messages
26
Aw sweetheart, you have had a very tough time of it :hug: I really hope you have your little boy back soon.

I suppose the positive thing is that you finally have a diagnosis and treatment :)

I can't answer your questions about the disorders and medication because I have no experience of that but I truly hope you find the answers you need :)

Take care

Hugs and nice thoughts

Orchidxxx
 
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