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Marty77

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Hello all I wondering which subject to post a help question under? It is for a family member and it's a strange fetish/mental issue that I am trying to get answers for.
Thanks in advance
 
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Professionalhypochondriac

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Depends on the issue or mental health problem....
What seems to be the issue ?
 
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Marty77

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Hi again i forgot to say i suggested him getting help mentally and he's told me he doesn't need it. My wife and 18 year old think it's a phase.
 
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Marty77

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Depends on the issue or mental health problem....
What seems to be the issue ?
Ok I'll try post again. Last post disappeared.
My Son is 16 and he's been into wearing nappies for a while now. He has approached my wife and myself and asked to be treated like a baby sometimes not all the time. He is 2nd oldest we have 6 from 18 down to 1 year old twins. My wife thinks it's something that's phase and will possibly grow out of. My 18 year old the same. I myself I don't know where to turn. I've never heard of this before. He tells me it's nothing to do with children. It's his own place he likes to go. He doesn't want to seek help and wife and older sibling agree he shouldn't be forced. They also say at least he came to us. Where do I turn. Am I the only one that thinks this is so wrong
 
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Professionalhypochondriac

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Your not wrong for thinking it’s wrong...
if one of my children came up to me in the same situation I would also find it hard to accept straight away.
This sounds a bit personal and you don’t have to answer but does your child have any current issues such as
Autism or learning difficulties ? have they gave you any explanation in to why they feeling the way they do ?
 
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Marty77

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Your not wrong for thinking it’s wrong...
if one of my children came up to me in the same situation I would also find it hard to accept straight away.
This sounds a bit personal and you don’t have to answer but does your child have any current issues such as
Autism or learning difficulties ? have they gave you any explanation in to why they feeling the way they do ?
Ok many thanks for the reply. No Autism or learning difficulties as far as we are aware. He is bright loves messing with gadgets computers and games etc. He has said this is a place he likes to retreat to like a comfort blanket. As I said he has been wearing nappies for a while in private. We have known about that for a while. He came to us and told us he liked the feeling of them. I have always told my children they can discuss anything with us and if we can help we will. My wife's attitude is along the lines of at least he's come to us and it's not drugs. Could be worse. This is why I'm seeking advice
 
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Professionalhypochondriac

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I agree that it’s brilliant that your child can approach you and your wife about the way they feel. It’s a sign of an excellent parenting foundation so pat yourself on the back as you have obviously done a good job.
In terms of the actual scenario I don’t have much knowledge in to what is causing it and how to approach it. If they don’t want to seek advice from someone then what else can be done apart from supporting them. Which already sounds like you are doing.
Could just be a phase but I can agree in the fact that it would throw me if I was in your situation as I wouldn’t know how to react... and that’s just me being honest
 
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Marty77

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I agree that it’s brilliant that your child can approach you and your wife about the way they feel. It’s a sign of an excellent parenting foundation so pat yourself on the back as you have obviously done a good job.
In terms of the actual scenario I don’t have much knowledge in to what is causing it and how to approach it. If they don’t want to seek advice from someone then what else can be done apart from supporting them. Which already sounds like you are doing.
Could just be a phase but I can agree in the fact that it would throw me if I was in your situation as I wouldn’t know how to react... and that’s just me being honest
Many thanks indeed. That means so much too. Basically from what I can gather as well as being a baby he's talking bottle feeds spoon feeds and dressing etc he's asked for baby clothes in his size he'll pay but wants us to order. He has aquired I believe a highchair and would like to use it at some meal times if he gets his way. It's a hard call. I don't want to alienate him by refusing but at the same time I don't want to say no outright. I did promise I'd look into it and give it a lot of thought. Thanks again for your kind words.
 
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Marty77

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Ok slight amendment. He doesn't want baby clothes ordered he apparently considered us ordering them. He has some outfits already. Rest detail is correct.
 
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Marty77

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Hi all further update. 16 year old and myself went for a drive earlier and a long chat. It seems that while he still wants to ahead with being a baby on occasions. I think I may have got to his underlying catalyst. It turns out he asked 18 year old when he was feeding twins could he try a bottle? Which he did 18 year old put a bib on him and proceeded to feed 16 year old. That's all they did but seems 16 year old liked the feeling it produced not sexual but just a place he likes to retreat to. Hope this helps provide answers. Thanks all in advance.
 
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Marty77

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Hi again all. I have been talking to my wife today. She still insists that I am overreacting to my 16 years old's request I am still seeking further opinion. We are a very close family and I am proud of all my children no matter what. We all do things together and like to help each other out where and when we can. Although I feel this is maybe stretching it too far. I know my 18 year old has been enabling his brother. I know it was him that has bought stuff for 16 year old at his request. I just need help getting through this? I am very glad that he felt he could say this to us. I am aware this is great that we can be so close and trusting. We are also very glad that we haven't raised children that either obnoxious or violent or on drugs. So any ideas pleas are welcome :)
 
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Pollypop

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Have you asked your 18yr old why he firstly not just bottle fed but also
used a bib.
Also have you spoken to your 18 yr old about why he is buying the baby clothes etc.
There must be a reason he is enabling your 16 yr old in this behaviour?

Maybe seeing your GP may help to clarify things.

i think you are brilliant parents for your children to trust you so much to be able
to talk to you about everything.
 
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Marty77

Active member
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Jan 14, 2020
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Location
Ireland
Have you asked your 18yr old why he firstly not just bottle fed but also
used a bib.
Also have you spoken to your 18 yr old about why he is buying the baby clothes etc.
There must be a reason he is enabling your 16 yr old in this behaviour?

Maybe seeing your GP may help to clarify things.

i think you are brilliant parents for your children to trust you so much to be able
to talk to you about everything.
Hi Pollypop
Many thanks for your reply I have spoken to 18 year old. He was asked at a time when he was feeding baby twins by the 16 year old could he be fed like that? So 18 year old agreed and put a bib on his 16 year old brother and gave him a bottle. Also I know that 16 year old got his older brother to purchase on his behalf some bigger baby clothes. Have had same idea of GP myself but kinda embarrassed as he knows me personally and it's a difficult subject to raise with someone you know. Also aware that 16 year old is refusing to seek help himself as my wife and his older brother have made me look like the one with a problem by making it such a big deal. My Wife and 18 year old are convinced it's something he will outgrow. Thanks also for kind words as well about being brilliant parents
 
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Marty77

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Ireland
Hi all just had a great day out with all the family. Bowling and lunch and just home now. We often do stuff like this together. Everyone enjoys it. So I can't understand why 16 year old would want to do what he's asked to do? Not that would stop us but I suppose I'm trying to make sense of it. Nobody is ever left out. Everyone is treated the same. We always make time for each of them. Our aim is always and will always be to always be there for them. Each and every one of them equal. How do I get my head around this? Am I being unreasonable? Should I accommodate his wishes? My wife thinks so. As does 18 year old. I'm also thinking of other 2 children next down 10 and 7. How would they be with this.? My wife again seems to think it'll not be a problem if explained correctly to them in a way that they could understand. She's good at that I know. However there are so many unanswered questions. Thanks all for your patience and understanding.
 
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