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Looking for diagnosis / advice please

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Decky

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2017
Messages
9
Hi, I'm new on the forum and I can't find anything that relates to my particular problem though I don't consider it to be very serious. The problem is that I don't have an interest in anything and if I do get excited about embarking on something new it only last for a few days or weeks before it disappears. It seems like any interest or enthusiasm I have to do something new is very delicate and fleeting and easily damaged, usually triggered by an event that makes me feel down or fed up or realise that it's a pointless futile exercise. When that happens what was an exciting new interest then becomes a chore and has as much appeal as doing the ironing so I have to give it up and go back to doing nothing. Once the interest has gone it very rarely comes back (it's only happened once - see below). My past for as long as I can remember is littered with abandoned hobbies and pastimes, sometimes after spending a lot of money on it because I thought this time it's going to last, but it never does.

My latest venture was wanting to relearn the oboe I'd been keeping in a cupboard for the last 12 years after giving it up before. I was enjoying doing the online research for beginners, I bought some new reeds and was really looking forward to taking lessons, going for grade exams and making a success of it after making some real progress in a short time. Then after about 10 days something happened that made me feel down and fed up and all the interest completely evaporated. I'll now need to sell the oboe which will be painful after being so keen on playing it but I can't keep it in the cupboard unused for another 12 years.

Thanks, any advice or similar experiences would be appreciated.
 
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arwen

Guest
I can be quite 'flitty' with things too sometimes. Often I feel 'what's the point' when I'm down. Also I have learnt that I am a but of a perfectionist. Nothing I ever do feels good enough and I instantly want to change what I;ve done or think of ways I could do it better. I'm starting to be a little less worried about the outcome of things but it can lead to me procrastinating in order to put off doing something as I instantly think 'oh I've done it wrong...I should have...' .
I know it sounds silly but this has been a huge block in my life...not even starting/finishing something because I am worried it isn't good enough.
 
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Decky

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2017
Messages
9
Sounds like you have high standards which could be a good thing but could be a bit out of proportion if they're always going to be unachievable. Nothing wrong with being a bit of a perfectionist and always striving for improvement is what makes one an expert. What happens when you do try and change it to make it better?
 
Ponder

Ponder

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2013
Messages
136
The Title of this thread reflects the manic state of people today creating their own illness in forums like these. Is very sad to see. At least go see a professional .. although if you want something bad enough, you will likely find it no matter who you see.

It's OK to be normal, or at least consider instability is inevitable in different stages of our lives which is a normal way of being. It just feels good to label ourselves because that's how we have been condition in this current society. People are not happy unless they can find a problem and give it a name.

Be careful what your looking for - you might just find it.
 
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arwen

Guest
I am a little more relaxed about things. It has taken years for me to get to the point where I just crumbled under the weight of everything.
Ponder...I tried so hard to be normal in situations which were far from normal, and in the end I buckled. It isn't wanting to be ill, it is accepting that there are factors that have impacted my life so negatively that they got me to the point of suicide. Now, I may be a normal person, but I needed and still do need to understand how all of it came about. That takes a lot of soul searching and a lot of trying to understand behvaiours (a lot of them far from what is understood to be 'normal') that got me to that point. So it's not about label searching...it's about dealing with 'what' and how to change it.
 
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Decky

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2017
Messages
9
Same for me really, I'm not looking for a label to feel good, I just wanted to know which forum to address it in, there are so many of them. But then I've addressed it here so I probably don't need to. I know what it is I really want, it's not to do whatever it was I lost interest in, I want the interest and enthusiasm back that I lost that enabled me to start it in the first place! Without it it's just a boring chore. Someone reading it might have had similar experiences and managed to overcome it somehow.
 
Kerome

Kerome

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,751
Location
Europe
Just to give you a pointer about where to look for posts on this: The closest I can think is something like 'anhedonia' which is in with Other Conditions, it doesn't rate a forum on its own. I can recall a few other posts like this over the past couple of years, so it's not that common.
 
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Decky

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2017
Messages
9
Many thanks Kerome. After reading about Anhedonia it appears to be the inability to experience pleasure at all or can be the loss of pleasure in all previous activities as a symptom of depression. I don't think I suffer from depression thankfully, it's just that the pleasure factor is very fragile and I don't understand why it doesn't come back when I'm no longer feeling low (which is usually the next day). That's the bit that's missing that I need to cultivate somehow.

Reading about it made me wonder whether it has anything to do with the reason I stopped going to the gym years ago because I wasn't getting any pleasure response or "buzz" from the exercise that everyone else seemed to get. I did suffer a traumatic head injury in my youth. If so there's probably nothing I can do about it (other than maybe keep popping pills to keep the interest going artificially).

Do you think it would get more readership if I posted in Other Conditions? Is it acceptable to post the same thing twice?
 
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billym4467

Well-known member
Joined
May 31, 2016
Messages
323
thats me to a tea, i have a few issues, but chronic depression with bouts of manic depression. im the same all or nothing, when i get interested in something and i become obseessed over it, then when it stops it stops. thats the beast of depression
 
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Decky

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2017
Messages
9
Maybe I do suffer from depression then, like you do. It doesn't feel like depression though and there are no manic periods, it's just being low and fed up for a while and is gone by the next day. But the joy I experienced for a while never comes back, it gets replaced with a kind of permanent numbness.
 
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billym4467

Well-known member
Joined
May 31, 2016
Messages
323
sounds like depression, i oftern have periods where i dont feel constantly down, just flat
 
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Decky

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2017
Messages
9
Ok, so probably not bad enough to be too bothered about. Do your down and flat periods just come on or are they always triggered by something or someone?
 
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billym4467

Well-known member
Joined
May 31, 2016
Messages
323
sometimes there triggered, other times they just happen. my advice would be make an appointment with a doctor and get checked.
 
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Decky

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2017
Messages
9
Ok thanks, not sure it's serious enough to need treatment by a doctor, it only happens 2 or 3 times a year but usually when I've recently started a new interest and then kills it. My doctor will only be interested if it's something he can give me pills for within my allotted 10 minutes, he doesn't have a very good reputation.
 
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sonata2556

New member
Joined
May 5, 2017
Messages
2
Location
Newport News, VA
I just joined today and have a lot of the symptoms I have read about here. I had a motorcycle wreck in 1980. I was unconscious for three days and had amnesia more than a month. At that time they never told me about traumatic brain injury or TBI. I just found out in march of last year. I thought it was just me for 35 some years. there are 25 symptoms listed and I have 17 of them. The depression and feeling unwanted or needed is the worst part and the memory is a problem as well. Along with tinnitus from the TBI, It's just a job coping with these problems.
 
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