L
little miss sunshine
New member
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2009
- Messages
- 2
Hi all,
It's such a relief to find this forum! I have been looking for somewhere like this for ages!
I'm looking for some advice for how to help a family member. My husbands brother suffers from depression, paranoid and anxiety - he has done since he was 16. He has been on and off medication, but his recent relapse is the worst yet. My husband is so worried and we simply do not know what to do.
We live 3 hours away from the brother as he lives with his parents at the moment. His parents are not coping and end up with anger and accusations aimed at him (I think because his dad also suffers from depression, they don't really understand - or want to understand - his problem and there is such a huge amount of pressure on both of them - financially and emotionally as well. The brother is very manipulative in his illness which does not help this situation).
My husband is getting phone calls every day from his mum accusing us of not doing enough and saying we are responsible too, his dad crying and saying he blames himself and the mum is not helping and the brother shouting, crying and emotionally blackmailing him. Its affecting his work as they are all phoning him there too!
We are trying to help, driving him here for the weekend to give the parents and brother a break from each other, booking activities, trying to encourage the brother to see his psychiatrist etc but he seems to be getting worse. He phones in the middle of the night and threatens to kill himself, he lies constantly about what people have said to him and about how he is feeling, he refuses to take his meds or see his psychiatrist and I just don't know what to do to help him. His parents are putting the pressure on for him to get a job as well and have been for some time and I know this is not helping!
My husband is so, so worried and feels terrible that he is not doing more, but I don't know what else we can do! We have offered for him to come and live here for 6 months or so (and said we will financially support him during this time), and offered to find some voluntary work to help him get out the house, but not too difficult (through a charity who understand mental health issues) but he point blank refuses to do this.
There are some issues with him being around some people which I wont go into here, and I worry that this is why he won't come here (and I certainly would not feel safe on my own with him) but I am willing to work around this if he is.
I guess I am searching for some people who understand, but also for some suggestions or advice for how we can help him. I want to support him, but also help him to get better. I know this will be a slow process, but we are willing to take the time to work through this - we just don't know how!!
I'm trying to stay positive about this, but this is so far removed from anything I've ever known, its putting a terrible pressure on OUR relationship too! Please help!
It's such a relief to find this forum! I have been looking for somewhere like this for ages!
I'm looking for some advice for how to help a family member. My husbands brother suffers from depression, paranoid and anxiety - he has done since he was 16. He has been on and off medication, but his recent relapse is the worst yet. My husband is so worried and we simply do not know what to do.
We live 3 hours away from the brother as he lives with his parents at the moment. His parents are not coping and end up with anger and accusations aimed at him (I think because his dad also suffers from depression, they don't really understand - or want to understand - his problem and there is such a huge amount of pressure on both of them - financially and emotionally as well. The brother is very manipulative in his illness which does not help this situation).
My husband is getting phone calls every day from his mum accusing us of not doing enough and saying we are responsible too, his dad crying and saying he blames himself and the mum is not helping and the brother shouting, crying and emotionally blackmailing him. Its affecting his work as they are all phoning him there too!
We are trying to help, driving him here for the weekend to give the parents and brother a break from each other, booking activities, trying to encourage the brother to see his psychiatrist etc but he seems to be getting worse. He phones in the middle of the night and threatens to kill himself, he lies constantly about what people have said to him and about how he is feeling, he refuses to take his meds or see his psychiatrist and I just don't know what to do to help him. His parents are putting the pressure on for him to get a job as well and have been for some time and I know this is not helping!
My husband is so, so worried and feels terrible that he is not doing more, but I don't know what else we can do! We have offered for him to come and live here for 6 months or so (and said we will financially support him during this time), and offered to find some voluntary work to help him get out the house, but not too difficult (through a charity who understand mental health issues) but he point blank refuses to do this.
There are some issues with him being around some people which I wont go into here, and I worry that this is why he won't come here (and I certainly would not feel safe on my own with him) but I am willing to work around this if he is.
I guess I am searching for some people who understand, but also for some suggestions or advice for how we can help him. I want to support him, but also help him to get better. I know this will be a slow process, but we are willing to take the time to work through this - we just don't know how!!
I'm trying to stay positive about this, but this is so far removed from anything I've ever known, its putting a terrible pressure on OUR relationship too! Please help!