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Looking for advice

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mrs deyfur

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Mar 21, 2019
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Cornwall
Hi all, although having suffered from anxiety/ depression 20+ years ago, I'm primarily here to gain knowledge and ask advice regarding my step daughter who is suffering from, amongst other things, Social Anxiety Disorder. I would be interested in what kind of "help" has helped you or your teenager, therapy, CBT etc. I was also wondering are there any books of fiction that I could get for her, that she may identify with that others have found helpful. TIA
 
MeropeneM

MeropeneM

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In my opinion social anxiety disorder, otherwise known as the lack of exposure to life's misery disorder is something often triggered by overprotective parents who do not let the child be exposed to the dangers, to the ups and downs, to the misery and the benefits of society. The individual feels naive and a bit like a stranger like he doesn't belong.

I believe that the parents have to allow the exposure in order not to mentally disable their daughter. Yes I know, it's risky for her to go out especially to those drinking parties, she can be drugged, raped and so on. It doesn't matter, she has to go out and be with her friends.
 
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Cazcat

Cazcat

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Sep 12, 2013
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2,423
Hi all, although having suffered from anxiety/ depression 20+ years ago, I'm primarily here to gain knowledge and ask advice regarding my step daughter who is suffering from, amongst other things, Social Anxiety Disorder. I would be interested in what kind of "help" has helped you or your teenager, therapy, CBT etc. I was also wondering are there any books of fiction that I could get for her, that she may identify with that others have found helpful. TIA
Hi, I also suffered with social anxiety badly as a teenager. I believe in my case in response to bullying at school combined with dyspraxia and the associated difficulties with social skills. I found a book called 'Dare to Connect' by Susan Jeffers very useful in tackling this. I now work in a senior public facing role and am confident teaching and speaking in front of large groups. I still struggle socially, but I get by.
 
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mrs deyfur

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Mar 21, 2019
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3
Location
Cornwall
MeropeneM, absolutely agree about the exposure, although she's a young teen, so she's not at the drinking/ party stage.
Cazcat, thanks for the recommendation, I will look it up.
Hopefully now we have regular contact with her, we can address these issues.
 
MeropeneM

MeropeneM

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MeropeneM, absolutely agree about the exposure, although she's a young teen, so she's not at the drinking/ party stage.
Cazcat, thanks for the recommendation, I will look it up.
Hopefully now we have regular contact with her, we can address these issues.
The bully thing is real especially if other folks are on the side of the bully. Very real.
 
MeropeneM

MeropeneM

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The thing is the kid will not tell they are being bullied or beaten up, most of the time, because they do not want to disappoint their parents by showing them how weak they are. They perceive it as a weakness on their side and are embarrassed to reveal it. It's too embarrassing to them.
 
MeropeneM

MeropeneM

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Back when I was a teen, what I did to escape the bullying is I just changed the circle of people I was hanging out with so I dropped both the bullies and the friends in that circle and started hanging out with older folks from 1-2 years above my class.

You would go like, but what would you have that would interest them. Well I can't say what it was but I later on became a chemist as an adult, back in high-school I was very good with chemistry. I'll leave it at that xD

One time a guy who would bully me showed up and started talking shit to me, then all my buddies turned to him and went like who's this guy? 2 of them walked behind the bully, made a circle around him. He never did that again, so I was bully free for many years.
 
M

mrs deyfur

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Mar 21, 2019
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Cornwall
MeropeneM, sorry you had to go through that and good on your friends. I'm not sure that that's the case with my SD, from what we can glean from her, she doesn't really interact with anyone except family, but will certainly explore this, along with anything else, when she visits.....
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
2,103
Location
USA
In my opinion social anxiety disorder, otherwise known as the lack of exposure to life's misery disorder is something often triggered by overprotective parents who do not let the child be exposed to the dangers, to the ups and downs, to the misery and the benefits of society. The individual feels naive and a bit like a stranger like he doesn't belong.

I believe that the parents have to allow the exposure in order not to mentally disable their daughter. Yes I know, it's risky for her to go out especially to those drinking parties, she can be drugged, raped and so on. It doesn't matter, she has to go out and be with her friends.

Or...it could be the complete opposite and because of all the things a child is exposed to they become afraid of the world.

And in some cases,social anxiety just happens.Shit happens sometimes without it being anyones fault.
 
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