- Dec 18, 2020
Hi I’m new here, and I’ve had some issues in the past but never got a clear answer. I’ve gone through multiple seizures and hospital visits, multiple anxiety attacks, years of depression, and more recently I had a bad episode. It was kind of late and I was starting to feel off. So I looked around my room and realized I was started to have that feeling at the beginning of a high where things move weird around me and it’s hard to focus on anything. So I go to my mom’s room starting to cry because I’ve never actually liked the feeling of being high because I like to have complete control over my body and mind. She tells me to lay down on her bed so I can calm down and try to sleep. A few minutes later it escalates and I start to envision my worst fear which brings me anxiety. It gets worse and eventually I start to feel myself slip away from reality and life itself. In my head I was thinking that everything that was happening at the moment was a hallucination and nothing was real and that in reality I was dying, and that moment was supposed to be my last time with my family. So I jump up and I hug my mom begging her not to let me go and to let me stay here with her, and telling her over and over that I don’t wanna leave. I end up calling everyone in the house to the room because I needed to see them and I needed to know that everything was real and that was alive. My sister’s friend rubs ice on me as a way to know that my senses work so I can realize that it was in fact real. Well I finally start to calm down a bit, but I’m still heavily shaking. But then the feeling comes back. And basically it happened in waves. So one moment nothing was real to me, but the next I was feeling better, and that happened as a cycle over and over, for about 2 hours. My mom tried to get me to sleep but I was too afraid that if I fell asleep, I wouldn’t wake up. This all started at around 12:30am and ended some time after 2am. By that time I was finally trying to sleep. It took several tries because I would wake up just after a minute or two of being out. But finally I was exhausted to the point where I was fully out and didn’t wake up til morning. However the feeling had a bit of a lingering effect so even the rest of that day felt off but since then it’s been slowly going away. My sister tried to do some research and found something called derealization. I don’t want to self diagnose but it did have a lot of symptoms that related to my incident. Anyways, I’m just trying to see if anyone else has ever experienced anything like this and if so, if they might have some advice or answers..?