H
happyhappy
Well-known member
Founding Member
Hi,
I know I haven't been posting long but I am looking for advice with a prob of mine.
I got shrink tomorrow. Last time I saw him, he was very dismissive of me (maybe..) and just put my verbalised fears down to me 'having a disease'. The thing is, I don't know if he really was dismissive or if it was just part of the paranoia I have had going on recently.
In between times, I accussed a member of the MHT of spying on me. This fear had been building up over about 2-3 weeks increasing in intensity. I made myself ill over it. The paranoia is not completely gone.....even as I write this, I think she is reading it and will share it with all the rest of the MHT and laugh at me. It is however, less intrusive than it was a week ago. I see her again tomorrow and I am dreading it as I am mortified that I accussed her in the first place.....yet I can't get that feeling out of my head.
After I see her, I see the shrink. I don't know whether to mention it to him or not. There are too many scenarios that are buzzing in my headand I can't sort them out.
1. I tell him I am fine and he knows I am not cos this other one has told him about last week.
2. I tell him I am fine and really I am not and he should be up to speed with my MH.
3. I tell him about these feelings and he want to ups my anti psychotics which I am struggling with anyway, so I will refuse and I will be put down as 'non compliant' and I am awaiting DVLA decision.
4. I tell him and he just brushes it away and I get all edgy thinking he is dismissing me and it makes my paranoia/fear of them all dismissing/laughing at me all intrusive again.
I could probably go on but I am in danger of accelarating this head of mine anyway. Here goes for a night of rumination!
I don't know what to do. In amongst all of this are my fears I am not BP and am being falsely medicated but I am aware that I am sounding slighltly unhinged. But if I was unhinged....would I be aware of it? If I know that something is not quite right....does that mean I am ok?
Happy
I know I haven't been posting long but I am looking for advice with a prob of mine.
I got shrink tomorrow. Last time I saw him, he was very dismissive of me (maybe..) and just put my verbalised fears down to me 'having a disease'. The thing is, I don't know if he really was dismissive or if it was just part of the paranoia I have had going on recently.
In between times, I accussed a member of the MHT of spying on me. This fear had been building up over about 2-3 weeks increasing in intensity. I made myself ill over it. The paranoia is not completely gone.....even as I write this, I think she is reading it and will share it with all the rest of the MHT and laugh at me. It is however, less intrusive than it was a week ago. I see her again tomorrow and I am dreading it as I am mortified that I accussed her in the first place.....yet I can't get that feeling out of my head.
After I see her, I see the shrink. I don't know whether to mention it to him or not. There are too many scenarios that are buzzing in my headand I can't sort them out.
1. I tell him I am fine and he knows I am not cos this other one has told him about last week.
2. I tell him I am fine and really I am not and he should be up to speed with my MH.
3. I tell him about these feelings and he want to ups my anti psychotics which I am struggling with anyway, so I will refuse and I will be put down as 'non compliant' and I am awaiting DVLA decision.
4. I tell him and he just brushes it away and I get all edgy thinking he is dismissing me and it makes my paranoia/fear of them all dismissing/laughing at me all intrusive again.
I could probably go on but I am in danger of accelarating this head of mine anyway. Here goes for a night of rumination!
I don't know what to do. In amongst all of this are my fears I am not BP and am being falsely medicated but I am aware that I am sounding slighltly unhinged. But if I was unhinged....would I be aware of it? If I know that something is not quite right....does that mean I am ok?
Happy