• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

LOOKING FOR ADVICE - Not sure where to share this but thought I'd ask here

HellRider

HellRider

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 28, 2021
Messages
61
Location
Montreal
26 M here. Recently started working for a bank in customer service capacity.

Thing is, I've never seen myself fit into the "mold" of a banker or working in the banking industry. But then again, I don't see myself in any industry.

Sure I wanted to try national defense or anything related to armaments, but I never oriented my studies in this way and I'm in no mood of having to go back into studies for another several years just to get the required technical skills, to end up in a field I'm not 100% sure I'll enjoy.

And that's one of the roots of my problem, nothing really seems to motivate me, nothing grips me, nothing makes me want to wake up and go to do said activity for a specific reason.

Over the years I've had dreams but I'm frightened beyond anything to take the jump and I feel I always end up taking the "easy" path and just finding an occupation that just pops up on any ordinary site which is what I feel my banking job is. This fears that plague my mind are: Am I going to be 100% happy with my decision if I drop everything now? Will this other job allow me to survive with a livable wage which my current one is sure to provide? Will I have the willpower to continue since I've ran away from previous jobs? What tells me I won't re do the same old mistakes because deeper mental issues plague me?

I'm only 3 days in the new job, 1st two days I felt confident and liked my interactions with my peers, but I feel like I'm sliding down the path of being a low morale wage slave who can't make friends and is gonna be stuck at his desk, passionless wanting to hang from a noose instead of pretending to be compassionate with rando customers, kind of what I was at my student job.

One of my biggest dreams is to leave my current province of Quebec to Alberta. Young me had the reason of doing so because I believed Albertans were God-Fearing folk, very traditional, gun toting, freedom loving, ranch owning, cowboys and pioneers. And while I'm sure there are some that fit this description, older me realizes that even if I move to AB, what in god's name would I do? Most people are wagies over there much as I am here. Would I end up wasting my time, moving to go do a job that would bring me even less happiness? I see myself as going over there as a park ranger in order to be away from modernity and the soulessness of major North American urban centers that feel like modern Sodom and Gammorrah.

But am I just running away from my problems? Maybe I'm being over dramatic? I tell myself well maybe I don't necessarily have to enjoy my work but I could fund other activities on the side. But this feels like it's something I tell myself when I'm older and established.

Or maybe I truly need to experience adventure in my life?

I feel like this may be the old dilemma of the mother-like comfort of security versus the fear of the unknown.

I haven't lived a day in my life, having played video games for so damn long, benumbing my mind and body that I seek no more enjoyment from it. I'm still at mum's house and I always feel like she convinces me of the safe and non-growing up alternatives of "find a stable job!" "get an apartment downtown so you can get your own independence!" Which to me "living/working downtown/in a large urban center" screams more and more SLAVE as we give up our body and minds to social media, surveillance, dystopian health mandates. Yet I persist and I feel I live a life completely opposed to every single value I hold dear: life, love, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

I'm a hotblooded male God damn it! I'm meant to hunt Animals for sustenance and try to live within my means in nature, not be some low energy, passionless shell of a man sitting in a cubicle waiting for someone I have no interest of getting to know and talk to tell me about their garbage line of credit!

Any of you guys know this feel? What should I do? I'd happily throw my resignation at my boss's face if I had a shot of becoming a fully actualized man and a shot at true happiness, however the hell it's suppose to occur.
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
6,517
Location
Canada
I dunno what to say, but I enjoyed reading your post. I'm stuck in my small hometown in Newfoundland, living in my brother's house, jobless, over 50, struggling with mental health, social anxieties and obsessive thoughts (actually most these days are about some things that happened during my time in Montreal 8 years ago), cooped up in my room all day except for taking a walk to the store.

Welcome to the forum
 
K

Kittylove

Well-known member
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
481
Location
Canada
I dunno what to say, but I enjoyed reading your post. I'm stuck in my small hometown in Newfoundland, living in my brother's house, jobless, over 50, struggling with mental health, social anxieties and obsessive thoughts (actually most these days are about some things that happened during my time in Montreal 8 years ago), cooped up in my room all day except for taking a walk to the store.

Welcome to the forum
You're in Newfoundland? Cool!
 
J

JeanPierre

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 4, 2021
Messages
2,159
Location
Southern USA
If I may suggest; work your bank job for the good money. Take weekends and holiday trips into the wilderness. Meet people who live the way you want to live and go from there.
You are a good writer and you can do that anywhere as well.
You are young. You got this.
Best luck.
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
936
26 M here. Recently started working for a bank in customer service capacity.

Thing is, I've never seen myself fit into the "mold" of a banker or working in the banking industry. But then again, I don't see myself in any industry.

Sure I wanted to try national defense or anything related to armaments, but I never oriented my studies in this way and I'm in no mood of having to go back into studies for another several years just to get the required technical skills, to end up in a field I'm not 100% sure I'll enjoy.

And that's one of the roots of my problem, nothing really seems to motivate me, nothing grips me, nothing makes me want to wake up and go to do said activity for a specific reason.

Over the years I've had dreams but I'm frightened beyond anything to take the jump and I feel I always end up taking the "easy" path and just finding an occupation that just pops up on any ordinary site which is what I feel my banking job is. This fears that plague my mind are: Am I going to be 100% happy with my decision if I drop everything now? Will this other job allow me to survive with a livable wage which my current one is sure to provide? Will I have the willpower to continue since I've ran away from previous jobs? What tells me I won't re do the same old mistakes because deeper mental issues plague me?

I'm only 3 days in the new job, 1st two days I felt confident and liked my interactions with my peers, but I feel like I'm sliding down the path of being a low morale wage slave who can't make friends and is gonna be stuck at his desk, passionless wanting to hang from a noose instead of pretending to be compassionate with rando customers, kind of what I was at my student job.

One of my biggest dreams is to leave my current province of Quebec to Alberta. Young me had the reason of doing so because I believed Albertans were God-Fearing folk, very traditional, gun toting, freedom loving, ranch owning, cowboys and pioneers. And while I'm sure there are some that fit this description, older me realizes that even if I move to AB, what in god's name would I do? Most people are wagies over there much as I am here. Would I end up wasting my time, moving to go do a job that would bring me even less happiness? I see myself as going over there as a park ranger in order to be away from modernity and the soulessness of major North American urban centers that feel like modern Sodom and Gammorrah.

But am I just running away from my problems? Maybe I'm being over dramatic? I tell myself well maybe I don't necessarily have to enjoy my work but I could fund other activities on the side. But this feels like it's something I tell myself when I'm older and established.

Or maybe I truly need to experience adventure in my life?

I feel like this may be the old dilemma of the mother-like comfort of security versus the fear of the unknown.

I haven't lived a day in my life, having played video games for so damn long, benumbing my mind and body that I seek no more enjoyment from it. I'm still at mum's house and I always feel like she convinces me of the safe and non-growing up alternatives of "find a stable job!" "get an apartment downtown so you can get your own independence!" Which to me "living/working downtown/in a large urban center" screams more and more SLAVE as we give up our body and minds to social media, surveillance, dystopian health mandates. Yet I persist and I feel I live a life completely opposed to every single value I hold dear: life, love, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

I'm a hotblooded male God damn it! I'm meant to hunt Animals for sustenance and try to live within my means in nature, not be some low energy, passionless shell of a man sitting in a cubicle waiting for someone I have no interest of getting to know and talk to tell me about their garbage line of credit!

Any of you guys know this feel? What should I do? I'd happily throw my resignation at my boss's face if I had a shot of becoming a fully actualized man and a shot at true happiness, however the hell it's suppose to occur.
when lockdown ends would you not maybe try out living in alberta....youre still young and a year out should not be a problem.
 
HellRider

HellRider

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 28, 2021
Messages
61
Location
Montreal
If I may suggest; work your bank job for the good money. Take weekends and holiday trips into the wilderness. Meet people who live the way you want to live and go from there.
You are a good writer and you can do that anywhere as well.
You are young. You got this.
Best luck.
Good tip! I really need to unhook myself from video games and plan my weekends for wilderness excursions or something


when lockdown ends would you not maybe try out living in alberta....youre still young and a year out should not be a problem.
Yeah, I should try to line up and have that happen, but I still am unsure what I'd do over there, certainly with the hard economic times they are facing
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
C Looking for Advice Social Anxiety Forum 4
M Looking for advice Social Anxiety Forum 8
N Looking for support Social Anxiety Forum 1
Henryk34 Looking for someone to message with about my social anxiety Social Anxiety Forum 25
D Avoiding looking at people's faces Social Anxiety Forum 20
C Looking to change myself for better Social Anxiety Forum 5
Sleepyfantasty Looking for someone to talk too Social Anxiety Forum 8
L Not looking forward to the new year Social Anxiety Forum 6
Kirstie1806 Looking to meet friends 😊 Social Anxiety Forum 13
ghost_girl80 looking for some new friends Social Anxiety Forum 12
N Just looking for people to chat with :) Social Anxiety Forum 1
M Difficulty Speaking to People That are Looking at Me... Social Anxiety Forum 4
U Advice please? Social Anxiety Forum 10
C I need some advice Social Anxiety Forum 1
T Anybody have advice on how to overcome social anxiety??? Social Anxiety Forum 11
S Messaging is difficult! Any advice? Social Anxiety Forum 7
W Advice for performing with Social anxiety disorder? Social Anxiety Forum 4
L advice Social Anxiety Forum 4
daydreamsandicecreams I'm feeling fragile today, any words of advice would help me .... Social Anxiety Forum 2
C College Advice Social Anxiety Forum 2
V advice? Social Anxiety Forum 1
E Needing advice. Social anxiety “rut” Social Anxiety Forum 2
H Need advice please help Social Anxiety Forum 3
T Any advice is appreciated Social Anxiety Forum 5
S I would appreciate any advice Social Anxiety Forum 5
H Seeking advice on social anxiety Social Anxiety Forum 4
A Nothing too serious, just need advice. Social Anxiety Forum 3
S Relationship advice for the anxious- what to do when rejected? Social Anxiety Forum 1
3 Advice Social Anxiety Forum 2
N Advice needed! :low::low: Social Anxiety Forum 4
L Advice? Social Anxiety Forum 6
E Advice on doctor visit? Social Anxiety Forum 7
M Need some help/advice for my anxiety Social Anxiety Forum 1
N I need an advice Social Anxiety Forum 8
N Advice needed!!! Social Anxiety Forum 1
T Anxiety at work! Advice appreciated Social Anxiety Forum 2
N Advice on ways of coping and whether you've experienced emotional abuse from strangers Social Anxiety Forum 2
S Anxiety/Depression. Need advice. Social Anxiety Forum 1
SomersetScorpio Memories replaying, any advice/tips? Social Anxiety Forum 4
G Advice required please Social Anxiety Forum 3
Boethiah Any advice for social anxiety and phone calls Social Anxiety Forum 8
RainbowHeartz Assertiveness advice? Social Anxiety Forum 7
A Advice on what to do if you thought you didn't need a psychiatrist any longer Social Anxiety Forum 5
E any advice would be greatly appreciated! Social Anxiety Forum 2
S My story. Need some advice. Social Anxiety Forum 2
OobieMoobie Some social anxiety stuff - advice? Social Anxiety Forum 10
D think ive lost my mind, need advice Social Anxiety Forum 3
A I suffer wiithpanic attacks and social anxiety. Please some advice Social Anxiety Forum 2
arodi007 not sure where to get help ;v Social Anxiety Forum 3
K Not sure how to trust in a relationship again? Social Anxiety Forum 3

Similar threads

Top