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Long time reader. Need general advice

A

Anx123

New member
Joined
Apr 21, 2009
Messages
1
Hi All,

Read alot in an attempt to understand but i feel it is time for me to write.

I am a 21yo male. Throughout my younger years i experienced a very emotionally neglectful and quite often mental abuse based relationship with my parents. As a teenager i dealt with my fathers own breakdown, watching him go in and out of hospital and having to care for him through bouts of issues with sleeping aids like Ambien, the same father who offered me no real help or support as a youngster.

I now have absolutely low self confidence and i deal with anxiety and depression everyday. i Don't like blaming much on the past and try to live day to day as issues arise but i can't help but attribute this to my parents. The struggle i have now is a huge problem in my life.

The problem i now have is because of my anxiety i struggle day to day. Particularly in relationships with people because of the paranoia and fear...related to a lack of confidence and being extremely uptight. People often misunderstand this as arrogance, i constantly rub people who don't know me up the wrong way, it is really hard. Those who know me know i have a decent heart. I just seem to make people feel like i want to make them feel stupid initially. My internal voice is telling me as i speak to them that they don't want to talk to me and it comes across as a lack of interest :(

My anxiety regularly wears me out and i am constantly sick despite maintaining a high level of health through exercise and good eating.

In the past few weeks i really felt like i was losing it between my stressful job and college study but have been trying my hardest to fight by releasing control on that which i can't! I have often contemplated whether it is all too much but i'm also philosophical on the importance and significance of life. We are so lucky to be here why should it be wasted, besides it really is not that long. I tell myself this regularly in my darkest hours.

Apologies for the length, i needed to get this out. If anybody has read any of it and has some advice to any part of it. Addressing the confidence or the anxiety or any part it would be much appreciated. I fear being so young and having such pain!

Thanks in advance.

:redface:
 
H

hirwin

Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2009
Messages
5
Hi

I don't really have any advice since I am fairly new to all of this myself, but wanted to tell you i can totally relate w/ the struggling day to day! I'm sure you've seen some of my posts too. I try and try to do the positive self talk thing, but I just can't seem to convince myself that "everything's okay"! I have health problems on top of my anxiety, so in the back of my mind I'm wondering are these symptoms really anxiety or is it my heart condition, although I've had 2 different cardiologists tell me I'm fine. I have an appt. in June w/ a specialist that I saw 5 yrs. ago at Mayo, so maybe after he tells me I'm fine, I'll feel somewhat better!!

I just wanted to wish you the best of luck and tell you you've taken the first steps to vent your feelings. That always makes me feel better!

:)
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
anx123, You must see that you are not alone thre are alot of people here whom are talking them selved through the day, some days I really have to shout at the anxiety and sometimes it almost gets me in tears because I just cannot handle the paranoia again I try to put my two fingers up to it when I can, take care n keep posting
frank
 
Q

quality factor

Guest
Hi there, sorry to hear about your struggles.
As others have said, everyday can become a struggle, it's a gift if you get a day that sails by without too much anxiety.
I've been talking myself through each day for many years now,it becomes a part of your existence.
Without wishing to sound glib, you need to try and promote positive thoughts during your day and try and squash the negative. When you're not well this is the hardest thing to try and do. Continual practice might help.

Take care and good luck.

QF.
 
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