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Long term ptsd sufferer

S

Schmoo

Guest
Hi everyone
:grouphug:
My name is Julie and I have suffered from ptsd for over 20 years. I was bullied very badly whilst at Senior/High School for 5 years culminating in being raped by one of the gang leaders just before I started my last year at school, I was just turned 15. During my last year at school and for 4 years after that I was stalked by the person who raped me, following me, waiting outside my home, telephoning my home when I was in alone, waiting outside of where I worked and approaching me and saying things like remember me yes you will never forget me will you.
I tried to get help but at the time ptsd and stalking were not known about so I just felt like I was going mad.
I was 26 before a pschologist told me I had ptsd, by which time I was completely agoraphobic and suffering very badly from depersonalisation, feeling like my body was not my own and that I am sitting inside my head. I am still in this position despite having completed a degree and higher degree and working part time teaching at universities.
I have met someone really special in the last few years, on the internet of all places, and we got married two years ago next month. He is as understanding as someone can be without actually having gone through what I have but cannot truly understand how it feels.
I have recently stopped working due to stress and am suffering from depersonalisation episodes frequently everyday, caused by the continual flashbacks. I am trying my hardest to find out as much information as I can to help myself. If you understand what I am feeling, or can offer any advice of how to move forward from the point I am currently at I would love to hear from you.
Thanks for listening :)
Julie
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

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Hi Julie, not sure whether I can offer any advice but I can offer support :hug: and a welcome to the forum :welcome:. I'm sure that there will others within the forum that can offer more specific help than me! It's a great place to meet up with similar people and to feel supported.
 
S

Schmoo

Guest
Hi Honeyquince

You have done lots just by being there. Thanks :)
 
blackdog

blackdog

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Hello Schmoo and :welcome:
 
yakuza

yakuza

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Hi Schmoo and :welcome: to the forum

Congrats on your achievements with the degree's,that's very impressive :clap:
 
Libra1

Libra1

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Hi Julie and :welcome: to MHF :)

I cannot really help you with the ptsd, but do understand your stress. Over the years have you had anyone teach you deep relaxation and diaphramatic breathing? I think they would be very helpful to you.

Have a look around the forums, and hope to chat with you again soon :hug:
 
connect

connect

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Welcome Julie :welcome:!

If you don't mind an unorthodox suggestion, I always find it interesting to look at books written for therapists :D - for example "Acceptance & Commitment Therapy for the Treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: A Practitioner's Guide to Using Mindfulness & Acceptance Strategies" by Robyn D., Ph.D. Walser, Darrah Westrup. Let me say that I haven't read this book so I don't know how good it is, but it seems to get good reviews (I have read another book in this series for anxiety disorders and found it very good, but they were different authors). If you enjoy reading more "taxing" stuff and don't get easily upset at not understanding all the terminology, this might be worth looking into!

Personally speaking, with cognitive-behavioural and also acceptance and commitment perspectives, I feel they sometimes discourage justified anger by focusing on the future to the exclusion of the past :unsure:. Anger can motivate people to change things and try and help others in similar situations. So my advice would be to take the bits which you feel help you from as many different perspectives as possible.

As Dollit said, relaxation and breathing techniques can help. I would also recommend yoga, as it allows you to get in touch with bodily sensations - this could prove really useful when dealing with feelings of derealisation/depersonalisation.

Talking about and articulating your experiences is a very important element when dealing with PTSD. I think this might be because traumatic memories are usually stored as pictures, like a movie - hence the descriptive name "flashbacks". Putting the pictures into words can take some of their power away. Talking with your husband or close friends about what happened is a good idea, though they may feel overwhelmed and not sure how to best react. This is why many people find it really helpful to talk about traumatic experiences with someone who has some training in this area. You could contact your local MIND office (assuming that you're in the UK) to find out what sort of counselling services or similar are available in your area. You can find MIND offices in your area by using the search function on their website: http://www.mind.org.uk/Mind+in+your+area/

Err, that's all I can think of right now... oh, and of course a cup of tea :tea:!
 
Fedup

Fedup

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Hello and :welcome: Julie , hope you find " us " supportive :flowers:
 
D

Dollit

Guest
I've just read an article on PTSD in one of the Amercian magazines - either Psychology Today (which probably has several on it's website anyway) or Discover Magazine (discovermagazine.com) but the recyclings just been collected so I can't quote them. Psychology Today is an excellent magazine if you can search for it on line - excellent writers on the staff. If I can find the article on line I'll post it.

I recommend mindfulness to the world - really. It has helped me to get balance and function in my life again. I am going through a busy time and the stress levels are huge but with the mindfulness I can get myself to a point where I know what to do to deal with it. Last night it was sleep and today I'm back to my irritating best.

Meanwhile, welcome to the forum.
 
I

inzie

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Hi Julie

Like you, I've found solace in the knowledge that there are other folk out there (and in Fife) with similar issues and challenges. I have borderline personality disorder brought on by ptsd. Essentially I think I share a few of your symptoms. I see you're looking for empathy from people with shared experiences. I'm sure you'll get that here - I'm happy to compare and contrast any time you feel like it. It's great that you've got someone who you love and who loves you right back - any mental health text book you care to read will stress the importance of a strong loving relationship to give you the foundation to move forward. On that note - do you have ongoing input from your GP? A psychiatrist? A psychologist? There are treatments out there to help you to combat the symptoms and the root causes of a number of emotional disorders.

Anyway, drop me a line if you'd like to catch up. Oh, and welcome to the forum.

Cheers

Chris

Hi everyone
:grouphug:
My name is Julie and I have suffered from ptsd for over 20 years. I was bullied very badly whilst at Senior/High School for 5 years culminating in being raped by one of the gang leaders just before I started my last year at school, I was just turned 15. During my last year at school and for 4 years after that I was stalked by the person who raped me, following me, waiting outside my home, telephoning my home when I was in alone, waiting outside of where I worked and approaching me and saying things like remember me yes you will never forget me will you.
I tried to get help but at the time ptsd and stalking were not known about so I just felt like I was going mad.
I was 26 before a pschologist told me I had ptsd, by which time I was completely agoraphobic and suffering very badly from depersonalisation, feeling like my body was not my own and that I am sitting inside my head. I am still in this position despite having completed a degree and higher degree and working part time teaching at universities.
I have met someone really special in the last few years, on the internet of all places, and we got married two years ago next month. He is as understanding as someone can be without actually having gone through what I have but cannot truly understand how it feels.
I have recently stopped working due to stress and am suffering from depersonalisation episodes frequently everyday, caused by the continual flashbacks. I am trying my hardest to find out as much information as I can to help myself. If you understand what I am feeling, or can offer any advice of how to move forward from the point I am currently at I would love to hear from you.
Thanks for listening :)
Julie
 
cloudberry

cloudberry

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Jan 26, 2008
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409
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North Lincolnshire
Hi Julie

I can relate to you in some ways, you poor thing! Brilliant that you have met a loving man though. Lucky you!

I get depersonalisation, feel like I am sitting inside my head. I was sexually abused as a little girl and its fixated. I have PTDS from my suicide attempts last year, the scars are a constant reminder. The summer is welcome, but there are so many tops and dresses I cant wear now as they have short sleeves.

PTSD is like a roundabout you cant seem to get off. Or you get off it for brief periods only to find you are back on it again.

I have found doing some voluntary work useful. And taking a good range of vitamins and supplements is really good too.

Like you I get agoraphobic, but if I can make myself go out, a walk it beneficial. I take bread and feed the ducks in the park - anything.

My heart goes out to you, and I am sending you love and best wishes,

cloudberry


Hi everyone
:grouphug:
My name is Julie and I have suffered from ptsd for over 20 years. I was bullied very badly whilst at Senior/High School for 5 years culminating in being raped by one of the gang leaders just before I started my last year at school, I was just turned 15. During my last year at school and for 4 years after that I was stalked by the person who raped me, following me, waiting outside my home, telephoning my home when I was in alone, waiting outside of where I worked and approaching me and saying things like remember me yes you will never forget me will you.
I tried to get help but at the time ptsd and stalking were not known about so I just felt like I was going mad.
I was 26 before a pschologist told me I had ptsd, by which time I was completely agoraphobic and suffering very badly from depersonalisation, feeling like my body was not my own and that I am sitting inside my head. I am still in this position despite having completed a degree and higher degree and working part time teaching at universities.
I have met someone really special in the last few years, on the internet of all places, and we got married two years ago next month. He is as understanding as someone can be without actually having gone through what I have but cannot truly understand how it feels.
I have recently stopped working due to stress and am suffering from depersonalisation episodes frequently everyday, caused by the continual flashbacks. I am trying my hardest to find out as much information as I can to help myself. If you understand what I am feeling, or can offer any advice of how to move forward from the point I am currently at I would love to hear from you.
Thanks for listening :)
Julie
 
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