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Long message: What is wrong with me?

B

brunette

New member
Joined
Dec 15, 2009
Messages
1
Location
UK
It would be good if anybody can give me an insight to what this could be or any experiences they might of had. This is a long message and I would appericate it.

I am 18 and I get worried/depressed about things. I think most of the time its me upsetting myself thinking. I have outbursts of anger and upset occasionally which can get really bad up to the point where I have scratched my arms/hurt myself and gone really mental and sometimes vishing I just vanished, one recent time I can remember was where ive got a suitcase out saying I was going to move away and stumbled around on the floor with it like a mad person in front of my boyfriend and family. Yeah it can be funny (sometimes ive laughed to myself thinking back at the things ive said and done)

I have had outbursts/feeling upset/moody when I have been out in social situations like at a nightclub, I was in tears and scratched all my arms, my boyfriend was so upset he was crying a bit..I have lots of stories of whats happened in places like partys,shops. I would be here for ages writing it. These outbursts and feelings I have have been going on for years before I was a teenager.

I am easy to get on with and I am caring but I always have the feeling I cannot enjoy myself properly and have fun. Sometimes I feel happy yet not right and a little moody all at once which is not a nice feeling..

I have had problems with attending school in the past when I was younger and I had to see a psychologist about it which didnt help. I think no matter what I hated school.I was never naughty or anything like that. This also happened in high school where I didnt go in which resulted in me leaving at 15.

I am at college now and have been since last year, I have been going on and of and find it hard to get myself in sometimes because of how I feel. I had a job at a bar and it didnt last long..I got so anxious before going into work and once I burst into tears there, as I felt so stressed and weird.

I have been dancing for 12 years. I had a operation two years ago which stopped me going dancing. Since then I have been going on and of..I thought maybe it could be the surgery I have had which left me not going to dancing but I dont think it is now. Sometimes I dont see the point and I dont feel motivated yet sometimes I feel great and really proud of it. When it comes to it I cant be asked with it.

Besides my operation I have had a hard time with friends not being good to me and a man who got me pregnant just running of. Still I dont think this is the cause of the problems. I just let it really get to me.

Ive moved on now and never really think of what happened. I have a lovely boyfriend who I care for very much, I am worried these upsets I get into will push him away. He says he loves me and that he will never leave me and that he understands. I still doubt myself.

I have not many friends yet I can have a good time with them but sometimes i cant be bothered to see anybody because I feel i'll just be putting on an act. When I feel down I think who would want to bother with me? im boring. Sometimes I love to go out drinking to be happy. I dont always feel 'low' like this it is up and down and does my head in. My mum says its to much sometimes and I know shes cares just the way she goes on makes me feel nobody understands me.

Thanks for reading.
 
Last edited:
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
Hi, :welcome: to the forum. As you're obviously worried about how you're feeling I would suggest you go and see your GP and tell him what you've said on here. Print it out if you find it easier. They will have seen this many times before so don't think you will be wasting his time.
 
T

TOONAFISH

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2008
Messages
2,686
Location
Bonnie Scotland
:welcome:

hiya sounds like your feeling pretty up and down. have you spoke to the doc?? best place to start i think. you can get some ideas on how to handle your feelings and where to go from here. here if you want to talk x
 
D

dusty

New member
Joined
Dec 17, 2009
Messages
3
Hi there I had similar problems at your age. You are not alone. Some important things that helped me were God. Not trying to force religion at all, but spirituality believing there is someone out there who loves us or even if it is yourself. Love yourself as much as you can and get to know yourself listen to the things you say to yourself and find good people who care for you. Maybe help others also, volunteer. Less drinking more spirituality, nature and good clean fun. Those things helped me.
 
K

Kat667

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 16, 2009
Messages
95
Location
Bath
Hi, definitely talk to GP or even your family. I thought my behaviour and feelings were normal. In the end I made life very difficult for myself and those around me by not getting professional help sooner. Talking to others in the forum is a good way to get advice and know what to expect from doctors etc. Best wishes.
 
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