Long lasting anger is consuming me

H

Hail

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 3, 2019
Messages
237
Location
Somewhere
I was constantly abused for years by a narcissist and I developed a lot of "responses" to the abuse: when they were around I will get depressed or feeling that I'm not present (they will talk and almost everytime they said something I had to tell them to repeat, didn't happend while I was talking to someone else) or I will feel a lot of shame sometimes, anxiety... But the worst part is experiencing anger. It got worse and lasts for hours and sometimes it makes me feel good. I feel like is energizing me, sometimes when it comes I only want to do really bad things. And with this anger I can feel like I'm a completly different person. Is like a person that is strong, fearful, and can be, paradoxically, calm and clculated, fantasizing about doing bad things. The big problem is that I can not control my anger. I can destroy things, wont go away. Since I cant control it, it leaves me so weak fizicaly and mentally and deeply ashamed of myself and of my thoughts.
Anyone experience such distressful anger? How do you overcome it?
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,308
Location
basketville
hello Hail sounds like it might be helpful if you could have some counseling. best not let this anger consume you as there is no way back from that. right now you have the time to go and do something and i strongly suggest that you do
 

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