Lonely with no hopes.

[Snowflake3008]

Hey, today I've just been so down it's unreal. I've been crying constantly and I'm not sure why.

At first, I thought it's because I won't be able to get in touch with my long-term boyfriend for a week, we're very close and talk way too much, and he's on a camp with the Air Cadets (how we met, not that you need to know) but I don't think it is, it's unlike me to cry on the day he leaves.

Then this evening, I ended up having a bit of an arguement with my parents, and somehow it ended with my Dad saying "It's about time you got a job so you can pay for things yourself instead of asking us to do it, you can't make any excuses because you do nothing and go to sleep at 4 in the morning."

Yes, I should probably get a job, but college starts in less than a month and I've only been 16 for a week. I tried to get a paper round but I got turned down, and I think the chance of me getting a job with the recession is low. Yet he always goes on about it.

Next thing, someone points out to me I need to get a hobby so I don't miss people as much when they go away. ( I depend on my friends a little bit too much I suppose, yet they always come to me with their problems so I think it's okay ) then it made me realise I really don't have a life, I get up around 12pm, eat, go on msn, eat, watch tv, eat, sleep.

I know that the solution to the problem is get a hobby or do something with my life but I have NO motivation what so ever, and I can see myself spiralling down even further for the next week until I can talk to my boyfriend again, I still don't know if I'll be better after that.

There's nothing really around here that interests me ( I live in a village and it costs a lot to get into town, money which I don't have ) and I feel like I should get a hobby which would make me feel good about myself, but I suppose I'm just to scared that I'll screw up and make myself feel even worse.

I have a feeling it might be motiviation problems and low self esteem but I don't understand why I'd be upset before the argument, as I'm not too upset (yet) about Paul being away for a week.

One more thing before I go, I don't know if I really suffer from depression or not, because everyone gets upset at times, and some of the people on here suffer from quite serious mental illness's, and I just want to hope them all the best. But even though my problems are quite petit, I feel like I need some sort of guidance. I just don't know what to do with my life, I don't even know where I want my A-levels to take me. I just feel so lost, I've even considered turning to alcohol, I have a few times, I used to cut too, but I upset a lot of people doing so, and I've now stopped. But I know I shouldn't go down both roads if I can control myself, but I'm always quite tempted to have drink to give me a quick buzz of happiness. It's really not good considering in the eyes of the law I shouldn't be drinking for another 2 years. Please help me, I don't know what to do :'(

Love Danni xxx

 

[jamesdean]

I'm sorry I havent got the capacity to read all this this morning but I can offeryou somepositive vibes hope that things get better for you take good care regards JD heres some n some 's

 

[Ben]

Hi Danni,

probably you went to sleep already, reading about your day rythm
but I'll anyway write to you some thoughts, you'll catch them later today.

First of all I'm sorry to hear you feel down. I'm a bit older than you , but I know how you feel. First of all since also I was ones 16 and second because still 30 years later I can ones in a way feel like you feel today.

You sound like a normal teenager. One that got a bit too much stuck to television and computer, like many of them. Statistics tells that kids and teenagers that are mainly occupied with compu and t.v. have the highest chance to get depressed. Well you are not a statistic number. And you are able to get out of it! It is difficult to feel that heavy that you can't stop crying. I send you a hug and you make sure you get a real one of a close friend.

So first: you're normal! I don't think you have a mental health 'problem' in the sense that you need a treatment. Don't let anyone tell you you have in the coming years! Because you know what, the world is out of 'professionals', therapists and psychiatrists and it's their job to treat sick people. There are people that need them, but many times they make much more damage than that they cure. And the last group especially loves medication as an easy and fast solution that many times it doesn't turn out to be of help and make a lot of other damanges to peoples lives. Medication doesn't sound bad like alcohol and drugs, but many of them are addictive, it is very hard to get rid of them, they damage people's sexual responses and desires (and so do affect almost always their relationships negative). Especially in teenage and adolecense fase in life it can make a major damage to your capability to socialize and a bit later to get into a healthy relationship. Doctors will not tell you this, some might deny it, don't believe it. Don't enter this area at all.. please..

Why do I elaborate so much about this? Because it is very easy to enter this road while feeling heavy and I see so many people on this forum that got stuck there, believing they have a problem that can only be 'cured' by medication instead of understanding they are different, beautiful people that yes feel heavy and depressed, but need and are able to learn to cope with life from their own hearts.

What sounds great is that you have friends. You might be right about the 'depending' too much on them, but you have them. That's great! you know what, you might even talk to them about the feeling of depending too much on them, they might understand you and this is already a big help.

Besides I think you know already yourself the way out. You don't even need advice. A job will not in the first place give you money, but a reason to get up earlier (and to go to sleep earlier). It starts with the getting up by the way, and then automatically you will be tired in the evening so you will WANT to go to sleep . The other way around will not help (since not tired enough it is a disaster trying to fall asleep). If you will look for work and you were right about you will not get a job you could also just volunteer. In a place where are animals (zoo, animal'guest house') if you like animals, in a hotel (from receptiondesk to cleaning), in an elderly people's house, in an office something with computers... Try to think what you might enjoy doing, go there and tell you are looking for a month-job. if there is no job ask if you can volunteer. it might get you to a job there later. If you don't know where to start you might even ask parents or their friends to ask around in their working area, ones they know you really want they will be willing to help you.

And a hobby.... also here you know the answer. Try do find some sport rather than chess or something involving computers. physical effort makes your brain producing endorfine and this will for sure make you feel more happy. it will get you in this habbit before you get older and get too chances to get depressed. It will prevent arriving there. It will bring you new friends that are also active and also this might give you some new direction. If you like the idea you can get to some meditative stuff, yoga, guided fantasy... i know there are this kind of courses for young people too. It is great to connect to your wishes, also ones you'll have to choose about future. And it will relax you today. But if it doesn't speak to you forget it and get into sport.

Well, a long mail with advices that you don't need, since you know. Your A's will give you a chance to choose and your understanding of being to depending today on friends will help you to move to activity. And besides, it is great having friends, you need them and that's perfectly fine.

good luck, you are able to feel good, for sure

 

[Snowflake3008]

Thankyou so much for the support =)

I'm already starting to feel a bit better just because everyone is so friendly here.

So sorry about the reaalllyy long message, I do talk quite a lot!

Ben, well it's good to know I'm normal that's always a good start hehe. Yeah, alcohol and cutting is a bad start, but I don't think I'd start taking meds eitherI'll try my hardest to not turn to anything else either.

I know a place where I used to volunteer, absolutly beautiful and I love it there so much, but my mum would have to drive me there and after a while I know she'd get fed up. Even if it is only for a month. It's likely it wouldn't lead to job there though, because it's a national trust place so everyone is a volunteer. Which is also good, because everyones there because they want to be, they don't do it for money.

I've never been a sporty person, but we're members of the tennis club (or at least my brother is) so we have access to the tennis courts all the time, so I might give that a shot.

Thanks again for your support, have a good day xxxxx

 

[luvjakegyll]

i know what you mean snowflake- by the way that i such a cute name!


i depend on my friends, feel likei don't have my own hobbies, not sure what my dirction in life is, always miss boyfriends, argue wit my parents who say they are there for me then end up criticising me if we discuss anything:-(

anyways you are not alone!!!

it's so hard to get the motivation even though like i know i want to change stuff


xox

 

[thomaz]

Generational Iniquity part 1 & 2 On youtube!

Megiddo II: The New Age or The Lie of the Serpent .

Watch this.Nowadays we were conditiond to think pills will help us forever.Here is a wise jewish man who follows the real jesus,Yeshua!The one who didnt´abolish Law and was not created by Roman christianism.This will help you a lot.You are normal and this world is suffering don´t exepect paradise here.I would write a lot but I made it quicker.Spiritual problems exist but we were convinced thorugh many means that it´s just physical ,psyhological...well,the spiritual problems can affect both.

Wish the best to you