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Lonely, bored and abnormal

Jelly

Jelly

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 20, 2013
Messages
227
Location
Norfolk
My uprbringing has left me a bit reclusive like my mum. She doesn't have many friends, doesn't go out other than to work, only has her partner really. I have friends and family but none i see weekly, even fortnightly. I live a lonely life therefore and i find now that my mood swings are under control despite a bit of lingering depression/sorrow/tears, that i have nothing to do. I have no work, no boyfriend, no people i can go to the pub with, and i feel as though my life is not really worth it. I know i am a valuable person, i know my life is my life, i don't want to end it, i just feel like a big void. I remember my psychiatrist saying part of my problem was that i didn't have a social life really. He thought this contributed to some of the low, that i wasn't pulled out of them by supportive people in my life, a double trouble type of thing.

I could cry, this is why,boredom, tiredness, akathisia, restlessness, insomnia, loneliness, fear of returning towork, nothing to do, nothing i can do really whilst feeling this way physically. It is going to sort itself out, but the other stuff, it is as though i have spent the last few years being ill that i have lost my life. My life ended when i became ill, and now i am on the mend, my life is not there anymoe.

Maybe it is because i'm feeling so shit physically that life is intolerable. HUrry up and go side effects please because this despair is hurting me. :cry::cry:
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
42,284
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi ,im truly sorry to hear you are struggling so much x are you having therapy ? I wondered because you say you feel a social life would help ? well your doctor though would? I think therapy would help you learn to socialise again more than medication would ,you could talk about your issues with mum/becoming unwell when leaving work
also a support worker who could accompany you to groups or for a coffee may help
lots of love xx
 
Kerome

Kerome

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,752
Location
Europe
I know what you mean. I always relied on work for company, and then I got ill, and really quite isolated. It's a skill I never totally mastered, easily making human contacts, unlike my dad who makes contacts quickly and fluently. But I have learnt that it is much easier to make new friends in the community where you live if you share some activities with them. I went on a wine tasting course for example, which allowed me to really make some great friends. And taste nice wines besides!

And in the meantime there are always online communities like this one ;) hope you feel better :hug:
 
V

voyager

Former member
Just a thought, do you like sport of any kind? Until recently I played badminton one evening a week, because there was a group of people about the same standard of play, we really had a laugh. I found it less stressful mixing whilst exercising, I was far more relaxed and didn't feel anxious at all!
 
K

Kwasiandkovu

Member
Joined
Oct 26, 2013
Messages
9
My uprbringing has left me a bit reclusive like my mum. She doesn't have many friends, doesn't go out other than to work, only has her partner really. I have friends and family but none i see weekly, even fortnightly. I live a lonely life therefore and i find now that my mood swings are under control despite a bit of lingering depression/sorrow/tears, that i have nothing to do. I have no work, no boyfriend, no people i can go to the pub with, and i feel as though my life is not really worth it. I know i am a valuable person, i know my life is my life, i don't want to end it, i just feel like a big void. I remember my psychiatrist saying part of my problem was that i didn't have a social life really. He thought this contributed to some of the low, that i wasn't pulled out of them by supportive people in my life, a double trouble type of thing.

I could cry, this is why,boredom, tiredness, akathisia, restlessness, insomnia, loneliness, fear of returning towork, nothing to do, nothing i can do really whilst feeling this way physically. It is going to sort itself out, but the other stuff, it is as though i have spent the last few years being ill that i have lost my life. My life ended when i became ill, and now i am on the mend, my life is not there anymoe.

Maybe it is because i'm feeling so shit physically that life is intolerable. HUrry up and go side effects please because this despair is hurting me. :cry::cry:




I feel totally awkward around people, I work but feel awkward around people at work and I am so sensitive that everything that everyone says I assume they are digging at me or getting at me. I would like to help but I do not know what to suggest. I wanted you to know that you are not alone.
 
Jelly

Jelly

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 20, 2013
Messages
227
Location
Norfolk
Thank you for such warm and helpful responses, i read them all last night in bed and they made me feel better about my situation. My ex who i am still friends with says i am still depressed and this is why i feel uninterested in anything hence bored and he may be right, but i have lost my llife. Hopefully when well i will get out more and try some of the ideas you suggested. Thank you :hug:
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,529
Location
The West Country
Little steps, Jelly.
I absolutely understand the loneliness/boredom, lack of people and occupation in life.

Even if you pick one thing that you do weekly, it might help. I got to pottery once a week. The people there are never going to be life-long friends (they're all atleast 30 years older than me), but it's just nice to be around people and make small talk. Sometimes i'm just not up for talking, and because i'm making things, it doesn't matter.

Maybe you could have a look and see what's about, maybe at a local college or something. See if there's anything you might really enjoy.
 
M

mudslides

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2009
Messages
47
Jelly, I'm in the same situation as you, no matter how hard I try I always seem to end up back in it as well!
 
J

J o r d a n

Active member
Joined
Oct 28, 2013
Messages
40
Location
Essex
I understand your situation completely as it's very similar to mine. I just carry on with life and hope, but nothing seems to change.
 
Jelly

Jelly

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 20, 2013
Messages
227
Location
Norfolk
I'm not alone then. There are many of us feeling like this. I'm not sure of a way out other than what you suggested, i have contacted the college and am on a class for January and might be allowed on it this term.

I have also decided to swim once a week. I will have to hang on these things until i am better enough for work again, but i feel like i am so damaged from this experience it is not just about medication anymore.
 
grumpycat75

grumpycat75

Member
Joined
Oct 28, 2013
Messages
10
My therapist suggested to try meetup. If you've not heard of it you can go online and check it out. I've haven't been brave enough to try it since I have a hard time around people. Good luck to us all!
 

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