loneliness

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peachy123

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May 27, 2018
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85
#1
I had a friend walk out of my life 5 months ago. I still don’t know why all that I know she got a boyfriend and ditched me. We have been friends for 7 years. We did a lot together every weekend. I work with this person too which is torture.

I have been struggling with loneliness all this time and it’s not getting better. I have no friends, I have no family. I often spend every weekend battling with myself. Not using my voice. Just crying and trying to get my head around this mess. I am at a very low point. I am stuck. I can’t live like this
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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#2
Dear peachy123, Welcome to the Forum :) I'm sorry all this is happening to you. I know that feeling of being stuck. Perhaps you should allow yourself to mourn the loss of your friend and then pick yourself up and take yourself out someplace interesting every weekend. You don't need her to go out on the weekend.
Do you like to take pictures ?? You could go out and take pictures.
 
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peachy123

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#3
The courage to leave the house on my own is not something I have. I don’t trust myself outside these 4 walls. but I know I’m driving myself crazy by not doing so.

I consider myself to be a really good person so I don’t know why I ended up with no friends it’s not fair.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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#4
The courage to leave the house on my own is not something I have. I don’t trust myself outside these 4 walls. but I know I’m driving myself crazy by not doing so.

I consider myself to be a really good person so I don’t know why I ended up with no friends it’s not fair.
How do you get to work if you can't leave the house ??

More people will show up in your life and you can gradually cultivate new friends. People on line can help meanwhile.
 
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peachy123

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#5
Work is the only thing I’ll leave the house for.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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#6
Work is the only thing I’ll leave the house for.
I've heard of mental health workers who will accompany a patient to various places; doctor appointments and general outings. You could look into this. Then gradually, you could wean yourself off having a helper and set goals for going out by yourself. You already make it to work on your own. You can do this. How do you get your groceries ??
 
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R_Sxo

R_Sxo

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#7
Hi peachy123,

Sorry to hear what happened. It's awful, but you have to keep going - one setback shouldn't stop you from doing what you like. You work with other people, so maybe this is a chance to spend more time with them and get to know them better. Your friend will soon regret her decision to leave you, but that's not your concern any more. Keep living your life and working hard to be happy!x

Much love <3
 
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peachy123

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#8
I’m trying to build relationships with other people and desperately want to be around those people. But this weekend is like many over the last 5 months I ask people if they wanna do something they either ignore me or reply 3 days later. Sorry only just seen this. It’s day 2 of the weekend and not one person has checked in with me. I don’t understand why I have no friends.
 
D

Default12259

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#9
hi peachy,

sorry that you've been struggling with loneliness. For a period of time my friendships were mainly online and I found that invaluable.... and then gradually opportunities came up to meet people locally.

I would say if you are also experiencing a mental health issue, then talking support for that is important so that when you meet friends you can also focus on lighter conversation or mutual interests and really value and nurture the time you spend with them. I'm mentioning this only because someone said it to me and I found it helpful.

I don't know if you like reading but local libraries often have reading groups which can be a way to meet people and chat over something new. If not that, what sort of things do you like doing or would you like to try??
 
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Default12259

Guest
#10
hi peachy,

after writing my reply i thought perhaps it was a bit insensitive -which wasn't what i wanted so i'm sorry if it was - what i really wanted to say was that things can change ...... it can sometimes take a bit of time though so good to have some support in place.... supportline is a good resource for times of being stuck in that regard. (A helpline for emotional support which can be found through google)... and keeping in touch here.
 
lisa_wa

lisa_wa

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Washington State
#11
I have 1 good friend here, where I live. My 25 yr old daughter lives 2000 miles away.

It's hard but I'm still happy. I have my pets, who love me. I love to get out, even if it's just driving around the area. I love it here, it's so beautiful.

I think more friends will come in time but I'm not pushing for them. I wish I had some wonderful, sage advice for you. You are incredibly sweet. Don't be so hard on yourself. Have you thought about church? It is a great way to meet new people.
 
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peachy123

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#12
3rd day in a row I’ve just sat here in silence. This isn’t fair, this isn’t living.

I’m not sure how much longer I can live like this.
 
Lilbubble

Lilbubble

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#13
3rd day in a row I’ve just sat here in silence. This isn’t fair, this isn’t living.

I’m not sure how much longer I can live like this.
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling but why not list small things you can/should be doing? small enjoyable things that take minimal effort or motivation. Doesn't matter if you do it indoors or out.

-Pick a favourite song and dance/ sing along to it? just because you can - benefit of living alone :)
-Make food that you normally consider a treat? - Why not you're worth it :)
-Pick 1 job that you've been meaning to do for ages but never got round to it? - something achieved :)
 
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Twokiwisandabanana

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#14
MIND RETHINK offer support grouos and all kind of things
Where you can meet people and not be judged
 
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hongli

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Vancouver
#15
I'm very sorry to hear that, and it is devastating to have someone who you loved and who you thought loved you be taken away from you...

Have you talked to them about this? About how you feel lonely? If you have been friends for so long, they must at least care somewhat about you. And also yeah, support groups are great, and forums like this one are great too :)
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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#16
My girlfriend M joined a book club and has made brand new friends. They get together at one of the members house. They rotate whose house they use each month. My friend never knew these women before. Now they have lunch and go to movies also. And it all started by reading a book and getting together to discuss it.
 
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peachy123

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#17
Thanks guys. I just spent an hour chatting to the Samaritans. Just to use my voice.

I reached out to 10 different people this weekend to see if anyone was free or wanted to talk on the phone. And I told them how I felt. Most didn’t reply but the ones that did either had a go at me and made me feel worse, told me they had their own shit to deal with and can’t help me. Or belittled me by saying they know how I feel whilst being surrounded by family, when actually they have no idea how it feels to have no friends and no family. I’m so done with Life I can’t see past where I am. But all I wanted what none of them understand is the be able to use my voice. Because it isn’t about being round people which would be nice but to be able to have a conversation about nothing would be a dream come true.

I’ve got another 6 days of this torture to deal with.
 
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peachy123

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85
#19
I go back to work. I took this week off coz I’m burnt out and needed a break from work but I’m finding it more stressful not being at work. The irony here Is laughable.
 
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peachy123

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#20
Did something productive. Booked myself for an initial meeting with a therapist tomorrow. I can’t wait until October for the NHS. That’s too long I wanna get sorted now. I know it won’t stop me feeling lonely but I hope it will help me cope with that.
 
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