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Loneliness is driving me insane...

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CEVRAM

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Sep 22, 2019
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Portugal
Is it ok id if I keep posting on this thread or should I start a new one?
 
hicks

hicks

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May 14, 2019
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In a galaxy, far far away..
You're ok to continue using this thread if you like.
If you wish to start other threads for specific topics, then that's also fine.
 
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CEVRAM

Active member
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Sep 22, 2019
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Portugal
Alright, thanks for the info. For now, loneliness is by far what's hurting me the most so I'll stay on that topic.
 
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CEVRAM

Active member
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Sep 22, 2019
Messages
42
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Portugal
It has a somewhat stabbing effect on me when going out and seeing people, especially those around my age, hanging out in pairs or more and seemingly having a great time together while I'm feeling so empty and isolated from everyone else...one more reason for me to stay a lot more comfortable being an home hermit than leaving and getting faced with my personal meaninglessness on the society algorithm.
 
Dexter85

Dexter85

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Sep 20, 2019
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57
Location
Linconshire
It has a somewhat stabbing effect on me when going out and seeing people, especially those around my age, hanging out in pairs or more and seemingly having a great time together while I'm feeling so empty and isolated from everyone else...one more reason for me to stay a lot more comfortable being an home hermit than leaving and getting faced with my personal meaninglessness on the society algorithm.
Hey Cevram, I hope you're ok.. I too suffer from Loneliness and i feel the stigma around it is crimping me.. I dont have any answers how to make it better but for me i kind of blame social media as i see everyone else happy and having fun while im not.. But if im sat in a coffee shop i could never approach someone to chat with them so its hard one to get around..
 
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CEVRAM

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Sep 22, 2019
Messages
42
Location
Portugal
Hey Cevram, I hope you're ok.. I too suffer from Loneliness and i feel the stigma around it is crimping me.. I dont have any answers how to make it better but for me i kind of blame social media as i see everyone else happy and having fun while im not.. But if im sat in a coffee shop i could never approach someone to chat with them so its hard one to get around..
Hello Dexter, I'm doing well enough and hope you are too. Social media definitely has some responsibility on this depression and loneliness epidemic that's hitting millions of people worldwide since it portrays a fake idea that so many people seem to have perfect lives while in reality, each individual poster only uploads what's convenient to them and contributes positively towards the virtual narrative they are trying to create.

Despite this, one can't help becoming frustrated when seeing that so many people out there apparently have way more ups in their lives than they do. I don't even use social media because I know it will only further aggravate my emotional distress and I'm not going to make any real friends there for sure.
 
Dexter85

Dexter85

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 20, 2019
Messages
57
Location
Linconshire
Hello Dexter, I'm doing well enough and hope you are too. Social media definitely has some responsibility on this depression and loneliness epidemic that's hitting millions of people worldwide since it portrays a fake idea that so many people seem to have perfect lives while in reality, each individual poster only uploads what's convenient to them and contributes positively towards the virtual narrative they are trying to create.

Despite this, one can't help becoming frustrated when seeing that so many people out there apparently have way more ups in their lives than they do. I don't even use social media because I know it will only further aggravate my emotional distress and I'm not going to make any real friends there for sure.
Hopefully this type of communication will help you rather than social media... like minded people all with different levels of a wide range of problems..
 
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CEVRAM

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Sep 22, 2019
Messages
42
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Portugal
Hopefully this type of communication will help you rather than social media... like minded people all with different levels of a wide range of problems..
I have no doubts that here I'll be much better understood and more cared about than on any other social platform, being it traditional social media or online chatting apps. Those places are mostly about interests and entertainment, not meaningful emotional support. My personal experience on such places as told me that people will usually only interact with you out of interest and I don't mean interest in forging a proper friendship, its all a matter of personal gain and if no one sees any "gains" available on you, they simply won't bother with your presence.
 
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CEVRAM

Active member
Joined
Sep 22, 2019
Messages
42
Location
Portugal
I'm so sick and tired of feeling rejection even when it can't be explained by logical argumentation...I feel it, period and it brings me a kind of boiling frustration that can only be relieved through some kind of loud violent behaviour like smashing things or screaming but naturally I can't let that happen, I can't lose control and become a raging savage. Nothing seems to make this emotional pain go away...either I withdraw entirely from interacting with other human beings unless I really have to or I'm going to feel pathetic and futile for the rest of my life.
 
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CEVRAM

Active member
Joined
Sep 22, 2019
Messages
42
Location
Portugal
Hey Cevram, hope you're ok... how are you doing ?
Not too great but it could be worse for sure, thanks for asking nevertheless. Basically I'm just watching time go by while not doing anything remotely useful with it. What about you?
 
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Georgette0824

Member
Joined
Oct 12, 2019
Messages
13
Location
Cheshire
It's such an involved subject Loneliness. There is loneliness due to lack of human contacts and loneliness due to lack of meaningful interactions.

Growing up, I struggled with friendships and it was instilled in me that I must be entertaining so people will want to be around me therefore I am skilled at making superficial contacts but struggle with getting to a deeper level. I am a good listener and am frequently subjected to people off loading their worries and sharing confidences that make me feel awkward.

I spend my working days surrounded by people but feel deeply lonely as these interactions lack meaning. I am proactive and I've tried joining classes, clubs and societies but find that groups of friends tend to attend classes and they are not looking for new friends.

I've personally found that being tea total since my early 20s has been a massive hindrance to making friends. I'm treated with suspicion and people don't know how to handle someone who prefers not to partake in alcohol. I'm either excluded from parties or singled out. I was once invited to a cocktail evening and had to drink the non alcoholic mocktails with the host's children.

I feel people have an ideal number of friends (often formed early in their lives) and don't seek new friends unless they have a change of circumstances (new partner, moving house or having children) or if there is a vacancy through a fallout. It is extremely difficult to find someone with a gap.

Every health professional I've come into contact with has stressed the importance of 'making friends' but none acknowledge how difficult it is to do.
 
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