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Living with anger & hatred in your heart

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sci31A

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I have seen so much, heard so much, bared witness to so much. I have nothing but hatred, mistrust, distrust and contempt for human beings.

I grew up surrounded by gangs or factions, each with their own ring leaders. Nothing has much changed. The people then are the people now the lack of moral and ethics carried through to the people they are today. This goes for most people there are all too few exceptions. Human nature is what it is.

All the memories of the last 25+ years keep flooding over me. It leaves me filled with hatred for people. I could live in ignorance as most do. But all my experiences serve as a reminder of how truly rotten human beings are. The falseness that most people portray so others don't see them for what they are. Sickens me. People so bothered about their image & status and the way others see them everything they do is shrouded in lies, deceit and misdirection.

I have spend my life avoiding people to not get entangled in all the BS.

I recently found myself stuck in situations surrounded by rotten people for a prolonged period of time. As usual all the previous memories come flooding back.

My dad has said many a time that it is just the way people are don't let it bother you.

There was a time when I would take on everyone around, forever dealing with every rotten scum bag accordingly that crossed my path. It became an endless fight with no end in sight. So the only real option was to avoid people instead.

The vermin still holding to popularity culture. You fight back and the deluded people think it is some popularity stunt. And not one of fighting back and punishing those who's deserved fate is to be put to death or beaten half to death because of the scum that they are.


.....................................
 
calypso

calypso

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That sounds unbearable and I am amazed you are so strong. But its strength hard won and with a high price tag on your emotional well being.
 
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sci31A

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Religious bull plop. Each to their own.

I'm considerably calmer now. And will usually remain this way as long as I stay away from crowds and generally unpleasant people.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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Gosh, i have anger issues also but I am going to overcome that anger. I hope your able to also. Please do not live in the past as much as it is painful. Easier said then done but I would not want anyone to suffer like you are :sorry: Why not cut your ties to those people?

I really dislike my anger, etc it even just got in the way of my sis "In the Clouds" but I love my sis and yet my anger or whatever got to me. Perhaps it's not my anger, it's me as a person.
 
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sci31A

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I don't live in anger all the time. I have my ups and downs like anyone. The one thing I do live with everyday is the mistrust of other people.

I have found from experience that people generally do what is in their best interests and what suits their own agenda rather than what is moral or ethical and this applies to 97% of the people I have met most my life. :BLAH:
 
Kerome

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Partly it's a question of what kind of people you surround yourself with. Gangs and factions are not conducive to high quality morals, and if you don't like that milieu then you might want to look into changing it. Move house to a different area, or change your friends or hobbies or work, whatever it takes, if that's what you feel you need.

But on the other hand it's also your perception. You seem to dislike this trait so much, perhaps you were expecting something more? In the end a lot of people do act out of self interest, you have to forgive them that. If you can deal with people from your compassion, the problem, your anger, will go away. The hatred, mistrust, distrust and contempt that you are building up in the end harms no one except yourself, you are letting your reactions to them shape you into something that at heart you don't want to be.
 
Sen

Sen

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I share a lot of the same emotions you seem to have,especially since my mother got attacked a few years ago.I really do hate people because of their mentality,personality,actions,words and deeds.People in this world are not as great as they believe they are,but still people want to kiss their backsides (especially famous people who have their heads squarely stuck up their own backsides)

I'm not going to tell you to forgive people, because some people really don't deserve forgiveness.
 
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sci31A

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Agree with you 'unwanted' I have seen much and a life's lesson has taught me that people are untrustworthy. There is a false shroud around most people. What such people let you see and who they really are. We live in a society were people fool them selves into thinking that their good people as image & status is everything to most people. How others see them. And yet if you were to analyse all the ill/misdeeds such people do and continue to do and to still maintain that they are good people.

I've seen it all & heard it all & witnessed it all.

To live in ignorance with ones head up there own arse is not for me.

How well does anyone truly know anyone and all that they have done and continue to do.

Forgiveness is for those who truly can change and strive to change to be a better person, those who are moral & ethical. Not those who say they want to change then do then quickly change back. Or those that hide what a truly bad person they are. That harming others in what ever form does not register it's just a bit of harmless fun or motivated by self interests.
 
Kerome

Kerome

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To live in ignorance with ones head up there own arse is not for me.
I'm not saying anything about forgiveness of anything more than the everyday, or living in ignorance -- one needs to approach these things with clear vision, so that you can see what others do, what motivates them and how they react. But anger, hatred and mistrust do not give you clear vision, they lead you to see enemies where none exist, based on a primitive emotional pattern of responses. You end up projecting your own vision onto the world that's overly negative.

That's why I am saying that in my opinion it is better to let go of your anger, to stop it from festering within you and to develop truly clear vision. It's a better way to live, for you and for those around you who interact with you. And it's closer to a path of wisdom.
 
SomersetScorpio

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I saw this when you originally posted and have been thinking on some words of wisdom to respond with, but it's really something I struggle with too and i'm not really there with healing any of it.

I'm sorry that you've been through so much and to be honest, it's understandable that as a result of some of the things you've witnessed you find yourself feeling angry and hateful. :unsure:

I find myself swinging between being incredibly sensitive, empathetic and not wanting anybody hurt to extreme mistrust and disdain for people.

I came across a quote which said something like 'Anger is sadness's body guard".
I can definitely identify with that because ultimately, it saddens me and makes me extremely despairing to think that I share a planet with such uneducated, ignorant and arrogant people.
What I do think important though is to remember that whilst popular culture may have you believe that other people are self-absorbed arseholes, there are other people out there who think and feel like you do.

Personally, whilst I see the benefit and strongly admire those who engage in forgiveness and loving kindness, it's not something I can grasp.
It's particularly difficult to feel any humanity for somebody who has none themselves.

Also, I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with being angry.
I think a lot of New-Agers dare not face their own shadow, and it's that kind of avoidance of self-reflection that can lead to people acting selfishly and hurtfully.
In my opinion, I think it's positive to identify your anger and work with it.
 
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sci31A

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Days like today remind me of why I hate human beings. If you don't walk, talk, dress and quack like them they discriminate against you.

Other humans trying to tell you your self worth. No doubt because they have none them selves. Everything revolving around money, image, popularity & status and power that which is immaterial that which I brushed off to pursue that which has value & substance. Something the British people know little or nothing about. The Pursuit of intellect & knowledge, enlightenment and self development, principles, morals & effects. The value of all life :mad:

Miserable people that will try and run you down emotionally. Human vermin that will treat you like dirt, or throw accusations at you for not being the way they are. Other human vermin that will treat you badly or push you out of the way to get were their going and expect not to have the s*** kicked out of them. :curseyou:

You stand up to some human vermin in the UK and there sickly little shallow unethical people revert to popularity and status. ''Oh your standing up to me because your trying to improve your social position''. And not because scum like them deserve a smack in the mouth and a good f***ing beating.

Civilians are scum!
 
Kerome

Kerome

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I have to admit, I didn't really find an answer to it either. A lot of that social status thinking is very strong in the UK, and it's one reason why I returned to the Netherlands in the end. Social thinking is stronger here, a kind of togetherness and fellow feeling in the community which I never found in England.

But you don't have to let it ruin your day. You react to it, and it pulls you down from your good mood. But you can just stay strong in your center and don't let it get to you. Think of yourself as wearing a good solid raincoat, and their words are just the droplets sliding off, and inside you are warm and cozy. You can do the good work, advance your principles and progress to enlightenment, and share that with your friends and family, good people you know.
 
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sci31A

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Simply return to avoiding people on a daily basis. It has been my means of coping. I used to only go places when I knew there would be few people about. I.e food shopping after 9pm very few people about to be a problem.

Lately I stroll out with out a care in the world just trying to live. I come across so many unpleasant people I'll have to revert back to only ever stepping out when there are no/few people around.

I'm a peace now. Cheers for the reply and advice.
 
Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

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There are a lot of false, self-centred, duplicitous piss-takers out there. And some of them are very clever with it. I have been taken for a ride by a few of them, and witnessed the same happening to others too. It does tend to detract from having faith in people, and makes for angry sentiments and a general lack of trust.

I contextualize it. The communities and societies we live in, are based on somewhat cut-throat, unjust, undemocratic, and inequitable division of economic resources. This pits people against people, screws people up, and the result is an unhappy and creeping misanthropy.

And it's not just confined to gangs and such, but to those in positions of pious officialdom - the people who are paid (supposedly) to look out for us and help us :)
 
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