
Tortoise
Member
Aaaargh!
Why is it the curse of human beings that we can see things from several different points of view?
No offense intended, but aren't we just ordinary people under all this Mental Health Mumbo Jumbo? Someone on here implied that 'normal' people can't have fun. Now what is that supposed to mean? Are we all some kind of elite clique on here then?
Don't get me wrong. I can recognise the value of sites like these and welcome the opportunity to use this facility. I attend a Social Services Day Centre from time to time, but I feel little affinity with most of the other service user's who go there. Perhaps I'm not as 'ill' as some of the others or maybe I'm not playing the game properly and they are all secret wizard's whilst I'm a naive sincere fool!
My CMHT has a thick red file with my Mental Health history in it. Every scribbled note that a Psychiatrist has made about me goes in there. Naturally, I'm curious. But I'm also ashamed, frightened and angry with it. I'd like to rip it up or burn it and leave all this confusing business behind in some alternate existence.
Then again, I can cling to it and say, "Look...here's the evidence. I'm a depressed man who warrants enough interest for a thick file... or do I have schizophrenia like one of my brother's may have had? But if this means it's genetic how come my other brother doesn't have it? How did he manage to escape whilst I'm locked in with all the keys?
The advantage of that file's existence and being on their list does have some advantages of course. Every time the Benefits Agency start poking around for evidence of my incapacity or pick my medicated brains for a loophole I can't justify, I can wave my status with the CMHT in front of them like a shield and say...''Look. Go to my alibi. Still sick. Can't work. Resent being pushed into a situation I can't handle".
I'm doing the best I can but the meds aren't really working. Therapy? What Therapy? I only seem to read about techniques like CBT or Mindfulness in books. They don't translate into the real world.
Maybe I'm in the wrong cachement area but it seems like chaos wherever I am. My life seems to be one long series of misunderstandings, mis-timings and half-baked attempts which send me backsliding to the introduction again.
Thanks for reading. I hope you can make sense of it. It's about as honest as I think it could be. Never complete of course and probably needs editing.
If I've offended anyone, 'apologies' and 'tough' in equal measure.

Any responses to surprise or put me in my place would be welcome.
Take care all.

Why is it the curse of human beings that we can see things from several different points of view?
No offense intended, but aren't we just ordinary people under all this Mental Health Mumbo Jumbo? Someone on here implied that 'normal' people can't have fun. Now what is that supposed to mean? Are we all some kind of elite clique on here then?
Don't get me wrong. I can recognise the value of sites like these and welcome the opportunity to use this facility. I attend a Social Services Day Centre from time to time, but I feel little affinity with most of the other service user's who go there. Perhaps I'm not as 'ill' as some of the others or maybe I'm not playing the game properly and they are all secret wizard's whilst I'm a naive sincere fool!

My CMHT has a thick red file with my Mental Health history in it. Every scribbled note that a Psychiatrist has made about me goes in there. Naturally, I'm curious. But I'm also ashamed, frightened and angry with it. I'd like to rip it up or burn it and leave all this confusing business behind in some alternate existence.
Then again, I can cling to it and say, "Look...here's the evidence. I'm a depressed man who warrants enough interest for a thick file... or do I have schizophrenia like one of my brother's may have had? But if this means it's genetic how come my other brother doesn't have it? How did he manage to escape whilst I'm locked in with all the keys?
The advantage of that file's existence and being on their list does have some advantages of course. Every time the Benefits Agency start poking around for evidence of my incapacity or pick my medicated brains for a loophole I can't justify, I can wave my status with the CMHT in front of them like a shield and say...''Look. Go to my alibi. Still sick. Can't work. Resent being pushed into a situation I can't handle".
I'm doing the best I can but the meds aren't really working. Therapy? What Therapy? I only seem to read about techniques like CBT or Mindfulness in books. They don't translate into the real world.
Maybe I'm in the wrong cachement area but it seems like chaos wherever I am. My life seems to be one long series of misunderstandings, mis-timings and half-baked attempts which send me backsliding to the introduction again.
Thanks for reading. I hope you can make sense of it. It's about as honest as I think it could be. Never complete of course and probably needs editing.
If I've offended anyone, 'apologies' and 'tough' in equal measure.


Any responses to surprise or put me in my place would be welcome.

Take care all.
