Living the Lie (I mean life)

GaryC123

GaryC123

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Mar 6, 2016
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The meds make me happy and content but when I look at my life, I can only think I should be ashamed, full of regret and depressed. I don't deserve to be happy and content. I feel like I haven't earned it. The happiness and contentment I feel is fake. It's not authentic. But if I go off my meds I will become sick again. I have to stay on these pills. But I feel like they make me less human. But I guess I'd rather be less human than terribly sick. So I'll stay on my pills...for everyone else's sake.
 
J

Jules5

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Jan 27, 2019
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Hi GaryC sorry you are having a hard time right now. I have to be on medications too. I would be worst off without meds. I like your picture above your name reminds me of a Greek. Is it. Hoping things go well for you Love and hugs Jules
 
Someoldguy

Someoldguy

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The meds make me happy and content but when I look at my life, I can only think I should be ashamed, full of regret and depressed. I don't deserve to be happy and content. I feel like I haven't earned it. The happiness and contentment I feel is fake. It's not authentic. But if I go off my meds I will become sick again. I have to stay on these pills. But I feel like they make me less human. But I guess I'd rather be less human than terribly sick. So I'll stay on my pills...for everyone else's sake.
Everyone deserves to be happy. It's not anything you have to earn, it's a frame of mind. If you have goals you haven't acheive yet, do not dwell on that and look at it as failure. It is a challenge you have set for yourself in the future. The key is to look around at what you do have and have accomplished and enjoy those things today.
If you want to feel better in the long run, change the way you think about today.:)
 
GaryC123

GaryC123

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Mar 6, 2016
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Thanks for the support and kind words. I'm feeling a little better right now. I help facilitate an activity group every Sunday for people with mental illnesses, which I went to today. It made me feel good to give back to the community as a volunteer. I'll probably be back to feeling worthless again, in a few days but I'm doing a little better right now.
 
Z

Zoe1

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Jul 8, 2019
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ive had alot of trouble accepting medication
believing it would dull my emotions and stuff

but then I used to smoke and I drink loads of coffee
so I'm putting chemicals into my body anyway
and at least the medications have helpful effects

discussing these things on forums
really seems to thaw me out as well !

:grouphug:
 
LizBo

LizBo

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Jul 1, 2019
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Hi Gary;

I went to a lecture at our local university a few yrs ago named aptly, 'Happiness - what is it and is it necessary?'

They went through the psychology of it and had the audience ask questions and make comments. What came from it was this; being safe, secure and peaceful is of far greater importance. Happiness is fleeting albeit enjoyable, but these things keep us going.

In the beginning of my recovery, one day I was feeling odd, uncomfortable. I called the MH crisis hotline thinking there was something wrong with me, only to be told I was feeling calm. What the! I'd never experienced anything like it! Living on adrenaline and cortisol all my life I'd assumed that was normal, but it wasn't, it was 'my' normal.

I try not to take my calm for granted these days as it's surely a miracle to me. Feeling happy as you do is precious indeed. Soak it up with gusto my friend as it's a blessing for those of us who've known Hell.
 
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