little slices of hell?

NoWhereman72

NoWhereman72

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Joined
Oct 11, 2017
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i live in north carolina
so i have been trying to be more social and for the past year i have been doing pretty good. but now my birthday is coming up. i will be 45 and its been 27 years since i was with girl. and no it isn't any kind of frustration. but tonight i just realized the little freedom i have is just a taste which makes me feel like im in hell with how no one reciprocates my reaching out to be friends with them.

now im all for trying to be the guy who tries the normal path like is i see regualr people doo but all im seeing is boundaries that i feel shouldn't be there, why the hell should i feel so alive when im out doing things then get shut out due to one thing or another?it just makes no sense . im not sure if its a mid life thing or if im just really at a point where i just want to cut my self off from the world again when i just recently tried opening myself up to after years of avoiding it.

could i be trying too fast to be social after half a life of never being having anyone n my side? and used to it? 27 years ago i tried and i sucked at it so i stopped and swore never again yet here i am 1 year into being around others and its so damn hard. how does anyone survive all the acceptance and all the rejections? it just makes me wish i had never really tried reaching out.:low::confused:
 
B

Boring

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if you want, you can view everyone as a bud. i honestly can't do that, as every woman i try to treat as a bud just doesn't go well, and i always manifest as a creep in women's eyes. also, i find myself relating to men quite well, as women tend to talk about partners that i can't relate to because i never had a partner before. so i tend to just hang out with buds.

but yeah, i communicate with people online. i don't go outside much, as i can meet most of my communication needs online. if you want to make friends outside, i don't quite know how to do that. perhaps try volunteering and then meeting friends while volunteering. if you have a job, you can meet friends via that too.
 
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NoWhereman72

NoWhereman72

Member
Joined
Oct 11, 2017
Messages
20
Location
i live in north carolina
yeah i have been trying with work but it seems when they go out fr night out there is something there doing and they all have to go after i just heard them talking about going and ding something. not sure if thats typical normal people stuff buts its really starting t annoy me. i question myself more and more about the real reason i want to be social it just seems to be harder than what people say it is.
 
B

Boring

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Bronx, New York
well having work is a great start and opportunity for meeting friends who share your interest. maybe consider going to events that draw in people who share similar hobbies. for example, i like video games, so i might try to pay for tickets or admission into some local gaming event or meetup. i like writing too, so i can pay for a ticket or admission to go to some local writing event or visit a library periodically. going to these events or areas, on a frequent basis, can give you a chance to meet new people or talk with people who attend events or areas on a predictable or frequent basis. heck, you can even go to a hobby-like bar and find people who are similar to you, like a sports bar or etc.

but yeah, the mental illness can sometimes make it hard to find outside friends or even acceptance sometimes; or at least that's what made it hard for me anyhow.
 
NoWhereman72

NoWhereman72

Member
Joined
Oct 11, 2017
Messages
20
Location
i live in north carolina
yeah its been hard and being told i am equal then not being asked out for things as f i was not one of them sort of points out the difference between me and them. and it really hinders anything i want t try and do. but yeah i could d0 like you suggest but it should not be so complicated or even frustrating to just have people who want you or need you to hang put when they go some where.
 
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