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Lingering depression outside of mood episodes

HLon99

HLon99

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Does anyone experience this kind of 'lingering depression' outside of mood episodes. By this I mean when your mood is on the whole stable, but you continue to have some of the psychological symptoms of mild depression.

In my case, this usually manifests itself as an overall pessimistic outlook on life, worrying that something bad is coming round the corner and apathy. At its worst, I would get passive suicidal thought, which I have no desire to act upon. By this I mean, I don't wish that I'd be better off dead but rather I would get away from life and all of its responsibilities, like going on a long, permenant holiday, or retiring.

None of these symptoms would qualify as a full depressive episode. I don't feel an aweful sadness, no breaking down in tears, I can still motivate myself to get on with what I have to do and even enjoy and smile and laugh at times. But there is this lingering psychological feeling of 'meh' Je ne sais qua quoi.

Its really hard to explain, its prob more of a psychological problem rather than a psychiatric one, but I was just wondering if anyone can relate to this and whether its worth seeking help for it.

I don't really feel like I need to tell my psychiatrist about it, I have been taking my medication properly and my mood is fine, I don't think more meds will solve the problem, but perhaps therapy might?

P.S. I think I always had this to some extent, even before the bipolar (apart from the suicial thoughts). Its just getting harder to cope with as I don't have the same nerves of steel that I had before.
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

Taking a break
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Dec 9, 2020
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1,783
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Canada
Does anyone experience this kind of 'lingering depression' outside of mood episodes. By this I mean when your mood is on the whole stable, but you continue to have some of the psychological symptoms of mild depression.

In my case, this usually manifests itself as an overall pessimistic outlook on life, worrying that something bad is coming round the corner and apathy. At its worst, I would get passive suicidal thought, which I have no desire to act upon. By this I mean, I don't wish that I'd be better off dead but rather I would get away from life and all of its responsibilities, like going on a long, permenant holiday, or retiring.

None of these symptoms would qualify as a full depressive episode. I don't feel an aweful sadness, no breaking down in tears, I can still motivate myself to get on with what I have to do and even enjoy and smile and laugh at times. But there is this lingering psychological feeling of 'meh' Je ne sais qua quoi.

Its really hard to explain, its prob more of a psychological problem rather than a psychiatric one, but I was just wondering if anyone can relate to this and whether its worth seeking help for it.

I don't really feel like I need to tell my psychiatrist about it, I have been taking my medication properly and my mood is fine, I don't think more meds will solve the problem, but perhaps therapy might?

P.S. I think I always had this to some extent, even before the bipolar (apart from the suicial thoughts). Its just getting harder to cope with as I don't have the same nerves of steel that I had before.
friend of mine would talk about the same thing. he would say he always has this underlying sense of impending doom. otherwise known as: existential dread. it comes up from our sense of separation from the rest of existence. which can be overcome if the body and mind disappear in meditation long enough to induce self-realization, oneness, enlightenment etc...
 
Blue Opal

Blue Opal

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an overall pessimistic outlook on life, [worrying that something bad is coming round the corner and] apathy. At its worst, I would get passive suicidal thought, which I have no desire to act upon. By this I mean, I don't wish that I'd be better off dead but rather I would get away from life and all of its responsibilities, like going on a long, permenant holiday, or retiring.
Yes, I have this too. The above describes me very well. I've felt like this for 26 years. Therapy hasn't helped.
 
T

toto

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I am so. My mother tells me I think too much. She concentrates on her duties, even though she is alone, cleans and cooks regularly. She has a regime, goes for a walk with a friend ... in general, that was enough for her. I don't like to walk aimlessly, I clean, but I do it with great reluctance. I would make a meeting of people with similar problems to meet and communicate. I only see this as a way out.
 
UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

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I have this lingering feeling of hopelessnes and self-hatred that almost never goes away. I'm prone to mixed episodes and rapid cycling. My psychiatrist has diagnosed me with chronic depression as well as bipolar 2, meaning that I almost never experience periods of normality or regular hypomania, the depression is always there lurking. I often think about suicide but not to an extent that I want to attempt it. I can't allow myself to be happy constantly questioning every good thing that happens in my life thinking it's to good to be true and that there has to be a catch or that it won't last for long.
 
Blue Opal

Blue Opal

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I have this lingering feeling of hopelessnes and self-hatred that almost never goes away. I'm prone to mixed episodes and rapid cycling. My psychiatrist has diagnosed me with chronic depression as well as bipolar 2, meaning that I almost never experience periods of normality or regular hypomania, the depression is always there lurking. I often think about suicide but not to an extent that I want to attempt it. I can't allow myself to be happy constantly questioning every good thing that happens in my life thinking it's to good to be true and that there has to be a catch or that it won't last for long.
That sucks, I'm sorry you always feel like that. It describes exactly how I feel as well. It's a constant struggle.
 
Zana

Zana

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Do you think this could be related to medication?

Always aim to improve yourself, do good for yourself, others and the world. Count your wins. These tools can help orient you towards more positive intra-episodal temperaments.
 
J

Jmayfai_r

New member
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Oct 25, 2020
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HLon99 said it perfectly. Great writing as well. But I think I need to take on Zana' methods. Its a very intelligent way to live.
 
A

ash_whole

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Feb 4, 2021
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UK
Lingering depression is really simply an attempt to abnormalise normal thinking. The undercurrent of existence is deeply morbid. Thus, cultivate your sense of humour.

(you're welcome)
 

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