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Like a girl but in a difficult situation, what would you do?



Mar 24, 2014
I will try and explain this best I can.
I worked with a girl who was my superior. We got on really well and over time I developed strong feelings for her, so much so that when I was away from her at weekends all I could think about was her! Sounds mad I know. Anyway I used to think she liked me back although I sometimes wondered that my own mind was taking friendliness and turning it into something more because of the way I felt about her. Another thing as well is she's 7/8 years older than me. I'm 24..how could she possibly 'like me' in that way. So anyway things took a turn for the worse in work, I became a victim of bullying. The enjoyment of work had gone, I had constant anxiety, sickness and worry, I was becoming ill. Work wasn't the same. Things weren't resolved so I felt I had to leave. Now I feel better and although I have no work at the moment that isn't my biggest concern. All I can think about is her. I miss her, I miss working with her, seeing her everyday. Now here's my dilemma. My heart says one thing my head, another...I've told myself in time I'd like to get in touch with her, but I'm worried the whole situation would have damaged the way she sees me, that I'm a guy who can't stand up to a bully, that I'm a fool for leaving that I'm the one who caused all this. Another is as this is only recent I don't know what could could happen in 1/ 2 months down the line, who's to say I won't get a call asking me to return, the 'issue' has been removed. Then that could be awkward in fact if I'd asked her out I doubt I would get a call. So I thought well leave it until I find a job, get some dollars behind me and am back on track, could be 2 weeks could be 12 months who knows, but then I think it could be too late, she'd have forgotten about me by then.. I don't know. And another thing is which could be to do with my neg thinking, that I'm worried she will get asked out by the bully. She knew he's a bully, that's why I left but what if ... But I know I can't tell her who to see and not see.
So yeah that's it, I hope that makes some sort of sense. I don't know what to do for the best, perhaps even move on completely? Your opinions would be welcomed.


Well-known member
May 24, 2009
Dark side of the moon
:welcome: beanz,

I would suggest waiting until you are back on track and have a job and are earning once more. If it is meant to be she will still be around and available in 2 weeks or 12 months. You could find with another job and your time more occupied you do not think about her so much. You may even meet someone else.

Life is a game of chances. You could make a move now and it could be the wrong move. You could wait and that could be the wrong move. Chances. I still think it is better to come from a solid place and allow sometime to pass. The 7/8 years age difference is nothing. If it turns out she is the type of person who is 'damaged' by the bullying and the way she sees you. She is not really the type of person you want in your life!

I just think you need to regroup from what happened to you with the bullying and then if you are still so inclined 'make your move' from a more solid standpoint!

I hope things work out for you!

Take care xxx:hug:


Mar 24, 2014
Thanks belblac.
I will wait like you said I guess it's too early yet.
I think there's an element of wanting to know how she's feeling whether she does 'like' me or whether she ever did and if she thinks about me like I think about her or I'm forgotten alreAdy. What hurts the most is that I'm not seeing her and that the bully is. Surely she wouldn't grow to like the bully, I guess that's what I'm afraid of. There is an element of jealousy. Everything just seems up in the air.
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