Life's been turned upside down and can't cope!!

[Lozzi_1004]

I'm finding it really hard to cope alately, I'm high, I'm low I'm both, I'm angry, sad and most of all fed-up!! I've lost my medication so I'm really screwed. I'm in debt up to my eyeballs from student loans, and of couse the last spending spree. I'm not too bothered about the loan as it comes straight out of my wage but the credit card bills are insane.
Mornings and evenings are when I'm at my lowest but it hasn't passed yet - this time yesterday I felt like I could take the world and Mars on, now I want to just disappear.
I've felt so cr*p today I've thought about SH, I'm obsessing over how much blood I want to see. I feel so numb I want to make sure I'm alive - because I honestly don't feel it. I feel like just ending it all, I'm sick of all this pain and all the mood swings.

I'm getting really paranoid, people at work and on the streets and in supermarkets etc keep staring at me and all I can think is "they know". My ex boyfriend told all his workmates I have bipolar disorder and it really so pretty much everyone in the shopping village where he works will know I can't go back there again.

I can't afford the prescriptions so I don't see the point in going to get replacement meds so I'm not going to go. I haven't heard back from my CMHT since they sent me for the blood tests so I don't know what's going on and my GP probably doesn't want to be bothered.

 

[jamesdean]

i dont know anything about sh but i do know about the ups n downs only this year i've experienced the need 2 go shopping all the time, some 1 i know said his student loan gets wiped after so long is this true take care jd

 

[Lozzi_1004]

It does get wiped but only if you don't earn more than £15k a year for more than 10 years or if you move out of the country for 5 or more years!

 

[jamesdean]

i have 2 say refering 2 the gin its not my drink of choice in fact does any 1 drink it these days? but then i bought some jazz frgrance yesterday how o/f am i? but i did get drunk on gin once 3 of us we had the bottle of gin in the middle of the table we were all bloody depreessed all night but very drunk jd

 

[rollinat]

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time Lozzi - but from what you've said your diagnosis is still very new so there's a lot to get used to and it may be that the medication is not yet right for you yet. Can you get back in touch with the CMHT and / or your GP again? Take care of yourself - are you still at work now? That can't be easy.


Rollinat

 

[Dollit]

You are allowed to ring and ask what's going on. That's a basic right.

You say you lost your meds - can I ask how and have you thought of applying for exemption for prescription costs. Sometimes you can get them discounted if not free.

 

[Lozzi_1004]

My mum makes sure I get to work because she knows I can't afford to lose this job. It;s not that stressful so I'm lucky and I'm left on my own in the office for the better part of the day.

I don't wanna feel like I'm bothering them, I've seen them so much this past month or so.
I take my meds with me everywhere because I stop at friends a lot and I know if I left them at home I'd forget to take them, so I keep them with me at all times in my bag. I went to the cinema last week and gave my boyfriend my bag to look after while I went to the loo (during film time) and he put it on the floor, but it was open. I'm assuming they either fell out as I was running to the car (along with most of my make up) or they're on the floor at the Cinema. My mum has applied for that so she gets all my asthma and excema creams for me on her prescriptions, but I didn't think I would be able to. Suppose I could ask the next time I have an appt?

 

[Dollit]

I'm not sure where you get the forms from but the doctors receptionist would push you in the right direction. Generally speaking you can only get your prescriptions on a prepayment or free certificate.

If you ever lose medication it's wise to let the police know. A child could find them and we all know childproof tops are easily opened by children. They get an enormous amount of medication handed in. I found a ruck sack once with quite a lot of medication in it.

 

[honeyquince]

HI Lozzi,

Sorry you're feeling low at the moment but hope that you can see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

On the prescription front I've found prepayment a huge help with my bills. Seems stupid but no one said anything to me about this and every couple of weeks I was forking out neigh on £40! Finally the pharmacist said there might be a better way to pay.

Anyway, am thinking about you Lozzi, take care,
Honey,
xx

 

[Lozzi_1004]

I let the cinema know and I told my dad (who's a policeman) I haven't heard anything back from the cinema so I don't think they've found them. I go there reguarly so I'll ask next time I'm in there see if anyone has found them and handed them in.

I'll ask about the forms next time I'm at the GP's then. I don't really like the receptionists at my surgery they're soooo nosey!

 

[Dollit]

Ask at the pharmacy then if you don't fancy asking at the GPs - they can still point you in the right direction. It's worth a try.

 

[Lozzi_1004]

Everyone else at the docs is fine, it's the receptionists - everytime I ring up for an appointment they ask what it's regarding, now usually I ring up at work so I don't really wanna say over the phone, I'm pretty sure the receptionists aren't allowed to ask that sort of thing as it's confidential between the doc and me! I'll ask anyways, I can just see them peering over their glasses at me now

I feel fine today - slept a couple of hours last night and was up baking chocolate bourbons at 3am! I'm ready to face all my problems head on AND I've done all my work for today in 3 hours woowoo! Can't believe how down I was yesterday and that I ended up SHing - bloody moods!

 

[honeyquince]

They're a complete pain in the butt aren't they.

I think if I had receptionists like that I'd reply saying that it was a confidential matter and leave it at that. They have no right to know what you are seeing your doctor for. It sounds horrible the way that they make you feel.

 

[Dollit]

Sometimes receptionists ask, particularly if there is a triage system in place, so that if you need to be seen sooner then they can actually make that happen. You don't have to say why but sometimes it can help.

 

[Lozzi_1004]

There is a triage system in place and there's only one receptionist who asks what she should "is it anything the triage nurse can help with?" To which you only have to answer yes or no and things still remain confidential - but the two "head" receptionists (who have made themselves that btw) ask what it's concerning and I really think they shouldn't!

I rang up for an appointment today as well (didn't get one, rang up too late) and she asked if it's anything she can help with :s usually they only ask that if you've rung for test results not appointments Didn't realise she had a degree in medicine LOL!.