
Lozzi_1004
Well-known member
I'm finding it really hard to cope alately, I'm high, I'm low I'm both, I'm angry, sad and most of all fed-up!! I've lost my medication so I'm really screwed. I'm in debt up to my eyeballs from student loans, and of couse the last spending spree. I'm not too bothered about the loan as it comes straight out of my wage but the credit card bills are insane.
Mornings and evenings are when I'm at my lowest but it hasn't passed yet - this time yesterday I felt like I could take the world and Mars on, now I want to just disappear.
I've felt so cr*p today I've thought about SH, I'm obsessing over how much blood I want to see. I feel so numb I want to make sure I'm alive - because I honestly don't feel it. I feel like just ending it all, I'm sick of all this pain and all the mood swings.
I'm getting really paranoid, people at work and on the streets and in supermarkets etc keep staring at me and all I can think is "they know". My ex boyfriend told all his workmates I have bipolar disorder and it really so pretty much everyone in the shopping village where he works will know I can't go back there again.
I can't afford the prescriptions so I don't see the point in going to get replacement meds so I'm not going to go. I haven't heard back from my CMHT since they sent me for the blood tests so I don't know what's going on and my GP probably doesn't want to be bothered.
Mornings and evenings are when I'm at my lowest but it hasn't passed yet - this time yesterday I felt like I could take the world and Mars on, now I want to just disappear.
I've felt so cr*p today I've thought about SH, I'm obsessing over how much blood I want to see. I feel so numb I want to make sure I'm alive - because I honestly don't feel it. I feel like just ending it all, I'm sick of all this pain and all the mood swings.
I'm getting really paranoid, people at work and on the streets and in supermarkets etc keep staring at me and all I can think is "they know". My ex boyfriend told all his workmates I have bipolar disorder and it really so pretty much everyone in the shopping village where he works will know I can't go back there again.
I can't afford the prescriptions so I don't see the point in going to get replacement meds so I'm not going to go. I haven't heard back from my CMHT since they sent me for the blood tests so I don't know what's going on and my GP probably doesn't want to be bothered.