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Lifelong, chronic depression, loneliness

mar

mar

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2021
Messages
68
Location
Washington, DC, USA
Hi All,

Still new here...

Not sure how to start, but the very short summary is that I've had chronic depression my whole life.

I'm here because I'm hoping to be able to talk to others and make some connections.

I've tried to read and respond to some posts on the site, but I'm feeling overwhelmed by it.

It's also hard for me to open up and reveal things about me...
So, of course, that makes it additionally harder...

Sorry if I'm rambling or sound like it...

Just sometimes I feel so desperate and I have to get something out but then it's just a jumble of words...
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Jul 31, 2020
Messages
6,179
Location
Canada
Welcome to the forum. It's a good spot to write out your thoughts.
 
Jolly

Jolly

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Dec 26, 2020
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United Kingdom
Welcome 🙏 you can write as much as you want or as little as you want in your own time. The forum is extremely supportive and helpful
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
40,112
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi ,im glad you have joined ,part of my illness is the same as yours x i hope we get to chat in the future ,your very welcome here x
 
Jam1990

Jam1990

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Joined
May 22, 2020
Messages
539
Location
earth
Hi there. Many of us also suffer from chronic depression. Feel free to write as much as you’re comfortable with and maybe you’ll start to feel more comfortable the more you do it. We are all here to support each other. You’re doing a good thing by typing your thoughts out, it helps so much. Reach out if you need to talk.
 
FallingLeaves

FallingLeaves

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Jun 28, 2021
Messages
100
Location
England, UK
Hi Mar,

I'm also new here.

I am confident that you'll be made to feel very welcome and hopefully in time feel less lonesome. It seems like a really friendly community.

I also struggle to articulate myself (in person) but I find typing it out a little bit easier to get the words out. I hope you find that is the same for you too.

xxx
 
mar

mar

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2021
Messages
68
Location
Washington, DC, USA
Hi All,

Thanks for the replies - It definitely helps...

As some additional background, I've been in therapy for 25 years and I still feel
like I've been unable to make much connections with people...

I just feel so different and alienated...

Thanks again for listening...
 
T

Tomk

Member
Joined
Jul 5, 2021
Messages
21
Location
Pennsylvanian usa
Right there with you. Spent my whole life depressed and or suicidal. Meds help but it’s always there. I just seem to become more lonely and isolated as the years go on.
 
daffy

daffy

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If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you’re thinking about suicide or if you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Nov 10, 2019
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England
25 years is a long time, has it helped with other problems? I can imagine it is a good place to offload.

Many people live with background suicidal thoughts, are you like that? I find that stressful situations, extremely stressful, make it much harder to cope but depression is the big challenge as it is so powerful over thinking.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Nov 10, 2019
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10,172
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England
Right there with you. Spent my whole life depressed and or suicidal. Meds help but it’s always there. I just seem to become more lonely and isolated as the years go on.
Do you not work?
It is hard when not working, i find, to have enough social contact.
 
T

Tomk

Member
Joined
Jul 5, 2021
Messages
21
Location
Pennsylvanian usa
I teach so there is always a distance between me and my students. Plus I’ve gotten really good at wearing a fake smile.
 
mar

mar

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 30, 2021
Messages
68
Location
Washington, DC, USA
Hi All,

Sorry I haven't replied. I used to get email notifications of replies but I guess it stopped working...

I'm working but there is such a huge life-path between me and anybody else that I also have to do the fake smile...

It's very depressing to be in therapy for so long and things just getting worse...
I don't know if things would have been even worse without therapy or maybe therapy made it worse... How can I know... I can't go back in time and try it differently and see...

Sorry for more rambling...
 
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