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A

act044

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 8, 2014
Messages
333
My life is in shambles right now. I've spoken in other posts about my financial situation , my hubby, family, health etc that has all been happening this last month. I now have to do debt consolidation to fix my financial situation which sucks. Collections keeps taking my whole cheque making it so I can't pay the necessities . My furniture is going to get taken back if I can't pay this missed payment . I borrowed half of it from my hubby to pay for it and paid him back 95$ of the hundred I borrowed . He got mad over the 5$ . He said he really needed that money. It makes me so mad. I pay the rent, the bills , the furniture ect. He doesn't have to pay for anything. He wanted to get a hoodie but can't because of the 5$ plus whatever his friend owes him. I didn't know I was supposed to wait for him. I didn't know he was coming over. I had to get to the furniture store to pay though or they were going to take it back tomo. How is it fair that I have to pay for everything and go through this consolidation by myself. He gets to spend all his money while I'm sitting here broke and struggling . I pay for his cell phone bill as well. It was that phone that his mom wracked up to 600$ which I'm stuck paying for . I don't mind paying for everything other than that phone bill because I know that way if things don't work I'm not left with nothing . It just makes me mad that he's making a big deal over 5$ when his family cost me all that money . It also makes me angry because when I smoke his cigarettes he makes a big deal about how many I smoke . I do everything for him without making a big deal about it or rubbing it in his face but he can't wait a week to get 5$ or share his smokes without hassle. How is it fair that I'm sitting here broke and losing everything but he can sit there making me feel bad about the money he spends on me or play it out that he does so much for me. He'll make a big deal about things in front of his friends so they think I'm a bum. Don't get me wrong I love him but I wish he could help more without making a big thing about it. I don't expect him to pay for the phone which comes out of my own pocket but he wants the money I borrowed off him asap. Why can't I just get a little help without having to pay it back. We are supposed to be in this together but I'm all alone . This is so stressful then on top of that he messaged another girl saying he had a dream about kissing her. I don't know what to do. He said it was because he wanted to break up with me because of my relapse but doesn't anymore because I've picked myself back up. Either way he shouldn't have been messaging things like that until we were finished. I don't know I'm going to give him another chance being that we are in Ina good place now (me being off drugs). I'm hoping it won't happen again. I want to check his messages every now and again to be sure but he keeps logging out. Is that suspicious ? Should I be worried? I'm having a hard time trusting again.
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 18, 2013
Messages
10,131
Are you really married? If so your debts are his debts. They can come after his pay check as well I'm pretty sure.
 
A

act044

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 8, 2014
Messages
333
We are common law and everything is in my name so as far as I know I'm responsible . I find myself wondering what I'm doing with my future.. am I wasting my time?? Should I make myself officially alone?? I'm so confused with every part of my life right now.
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 18, 2013
Messages
10,131
Oh I see. There isn't common law in my state so I don't know much about it.

In my opinion relationships should take care of everyone involved and that includes financially. I can't tell you what to do because I'm not in that situation but if I were I wouldn't waste my time. He obviously doesn't care and in my opinion only wants you for your money. I hate to say this as I don't know him. Relationships should be give and take. Not all one-sided. And from what you describe it is all one-sided. You take care of him but not the other way around.
 
A

act044

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 8, 2014
Messages
333
Omg I'm getting so fed up with this. I borrowed some money from my Gma to get a few necessities. As soon as I walk in the door after my 4 hour venture he starts yelling at me asking if I stole his money. I told him no .. why would I steal money.. I would ask if I needed. He proceeded to yell at his friends blaming them. It makes me mad that he would blame me. I'm not the one who has been having people over. I don't even know why he blamed me it went missing after I left . There's no reason for me to steal from him when his money goes to groceries when we're in desperate need. I feel hurt he would even think that of me. His gpa is dying in the hospital so he's been upset and drinking the last 3 days so he hasn't been himself . I just don't know anymore. There's so much saying leave but when he's not drinking it's wonderful. There's mainly good but the little things are adding up. I guess a good relationship fights through the struggle and I need to be there for him through this. There's just so much going on . My aunt passed away on wed so there will be two funerals . He's to wrapped up in his family struggles that he doesn't seem to care about my loss. I feel alone in all these struggles while he expects me to care about his struggles. It should go both ways .. shouldn't it?? Hmm well I guess life goes on..
 
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