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life on hold

Z

zeropolar wannabe

Member
Joined
Dec 12, 2008
Messages
12
I'm so sick of this repeated cycle of finding a job and a life I enjoy, only to have it ripped to shreads from getting sick again... and again... and again... Am 26, and am back home living with my parents for the 2nd time in less than 2 years because I haven't managed to keep myself fit. Needless to say, my parents have lost their patience... I cope by just not thinking, I've blocked everything out and as long as I keep going like that I'm ok... but I guess eventually it has to start comming out... I'm sooooo scared! I wish I could press a button and take it all away :( I've really lost faith, is it going to be like this my whole life?! xxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Lozzi_1004

Lozzi_1004

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 28, 2008
Messages
1,850
Location
Yorkshire, UK
Hi and :welcome:
I can't really say if it'll stop tbh as I was only diagnosed last week, but I know how frustrated your feeling :hug:
Just hang in there and feel free to keep posting when you feel the need :) This place has done wonders for me and has become part of my support network!
:flowers:
 
Fallen Angel

Fallen Angel

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 15, 2008
Messages
70
Location
Buckinghamshire, UK
Hi Zero and:welcome: to the forum!

I can really relate to you at the moment, 26 aswell and been off work last couple of months and likley to have to change my posistion and work part time! I felt so rubbish about it to, i never think its ever going to get that bad again, but it does. Just know your not alone and you never know what direction life will send you in. Others around me get frustrated to, but its not our fault we are unwell at times, try and keep the faith!!

Maybe with some support this could be a good time to rest and consider your options for the future, it my have to be different but that does not mean it still cant be good! are you in touch with your community mental health team?? there can be lots of support for work and housing thats right for you!!

Right there with you, let me know how you are getting on!!

Take care,

Angel:hug::hug:
 
Q

quality factor

Guest
Hi Zero and :welcome:

There is a great support network here, so keep popping by!
 
Z

zeropolar wannabe

Member
Joined
Dec 12, 2008
Messages
12
Hi again lovlies!

I am really glad that there are people like you out there and places like this to get support, as I feel you can't really get the same thing from mental health services! I only regret that I didn't join earlier! And it's nice to know that there are others going through the same stuff, though it would ofcourse be better if we didn't have to be here in the first place!
This morning I had a major panic moment because it's my birthday next week and I couldn't remember if I was turning 27 or 28 (damn ECT, recks my memory!lol), but the point is that I was petrified because I thought I had just lost 1 year of my life (or that's what it felt like). I worked out in the end that I was turning 27 which made me feel a bit better for a while, until I realized that it doesn't really matter because when I'm ill it feels like life is ticking away and I'm just watching anyway... You know what it's like, you have all these ideas and ambitions, for ex, I imagined that I was going to have a baby when I was 27-28, but then ofcourse I need a man for that, and ideally I would have liked to have known him for at least 2 yrs... you get the idea. Well there is no man in sight... So to summarize, I was feeling a bit more than blue today, but I cheered up when I read your replies. What you say angel is so true, it doesn't have to end here, life might (and will!) hold other good things in the future, and I'm rooting for myself and all you beautiful people out there who make a big difference! Thanks! xxxxxxxx
 
Fallen Angel

Fallen Angel

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 15, 2008
Messages
70
Location
Buckinghamshire, UK
Good for you Zero!!

Its not always easy, but there has to be a path through it all. Post as much as you like, i'm on here alot so will reply when i can! remeber, you are amazing and we all get ill, thats just how it is! really hope you get some support where you are, but either way, we are always here!!

Good luck Zero!! Thinking of you,

Angel :hug::hug:
 
D

Dollit

Guest
It's really hard to get your head round a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. I fought against it for about 12 years and refused to accept it. Then I spent a couple of years blaming it for everything and anything. Until a very wise person I know who just happens to love me pointed out very nicely and gently that sometimes life just throws things at us we can't catch but it doesn't mean that the illness is involved. I've felt a lot better since he said that.

The repeated cycles can be very wearing. I'm ultradian but I have recently been stable for 18 months and now in another period of stability.

The right medication is important and having a good team who include you in decisions is also important.

I think what I try to remember when I'm on the edge is that even if tomorrow isn't any better, it will be different - Slim Hips promised me that last time I was suicidal and he was right.
 
emski

emski

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2008
Messages
1,151
Location
North West
I think what I try to remember when I'm on the edge is that even if tomorrow isn't any better, it will be different
I think that's totally right. And as Dollit says, it is a difficult illness to get your head round and accept, but I firmly believe it is manageable and even conquerable in the long run, it just takes time and patience.

Keep posting here zeropolar, it will help you a lot :hug:
 
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