Hi. Recently, I've been diagnosed with BPD mostly because of my suicidal thoughts, the feeling of emptiness, and changes in the mood. I'm not 100% sure if that diagnosis is right and my psychiatrist told me to take tests with a clinical psychologist. The problem is they're way too expensive for me. I struggle with suicidal thoughts that haunt me when I'm stressed, I have a low mood or I go through a difficult time. Right now I have family problems that cause me to worry a lot and suicidal thoughts come and go. Most of the time I'm convinced that there's no point to live if I'm not happy most of the time and I suffer. Last years were mostly stressful for me and I've been unhappy for the most of the time. I don't have a job, I'm trying freelancing but sitting at home makes me low. There are times when I feel better but these are just moments. I often imagine how nice it'd be to die and not feel all this pain and worry. Such a relief. I know probably there are many people who feel the similar way, but if there is someone who sees hope in this life and thinks it's bearable then I encourage you to share your opinion. Maybe it'll turn out life can be good.