N
Nope_real
Member
Founding Member
I am 20 years of age. I work in a kitchen as a kitchen porter, when the credit crunch isn't almost making me redundant. I have a girlfriend and I live alone with my brother. I take citalopram and most of the time, I can keep level headed. I don't drink anymore. Things sometimes still get too much, as they do for anyone I know. I want to suck it up and stand pretty but It's hard. When I was a child, I used to get really unhappy sometimes, almost like a nostalgia I guess. I had this feeling that I wasn't me, but I was someone else being me. Like I could feel myself in real time, at an instant and without that seperation of reality -- like how we always feel invincible and able to go outside despite the overwhelming dangers out there "it could never happen to me". I didn't feel like that when I was that way, I felt really real. Recently I have started feeling like that again and very sensitive.
I went to gibraltar the other day, first holiday in six years and free. Me, my mum and her boyfriend, girlfriend came too. We were sitting down having a drink and my girlfriend asked for coctail list and my mum had a face like "hey big spender". All of the sudden, I felt an intense need to keep them both safe, but deny them freedom at the same time, because they could hurt themselves with it.
I got back to the hotel and wouldn't leave my girlfriend alone. When you first get with someone, its magic. After a while that feeling goes and you only really remember that love when something threatens to take that person away. You are pissed off with them most of the time, but you would still watch a bob monkhouse stand up, as you crawled through glass to save them from having to watch a bob monkhouse stand up, on a seat made of glass. I felt that love again and never wanted to let her go. Gibraltar was brilliant, I kept thinking about just emptying my account and starting anew.
I just left the room that day and haven't come back. Everything sounds different, like its all phasing and nothing is clear. Happy things make me sad, sad things make me sad. Up until now citalopram has worked, been taking it for about 2 months. Everything I feel is too intense, life has just started getting too much.
Does anyone have advice on how to surpress simple feelings, or just how to deal with them in a mature manner that doesn't hurt?
I went to gibraltar the other day, first holiday in six years and free. Me, my mum and her boyfriend, girlfriend came too. We were sitting down having a drink and my girlfriend asked for coctail list and my mum had a face like "hey big spender". All of the sudden, I felt an intense need to keep them both safe, but deny them freedom at the same time, because they could hurt themselves with it.
I got back to the hotel and wouldn't leave my girlfriend alone. When you first get with someone, its magic. After a while that feeling goes and you only really remember that love when something threatens to take that person away. You are pissed off with them most of the time, but you would still watch a bob monkhouse stand up, as you crawled through glass to save them from having to watch a bob monkhouse stand up, on a seat made of glass. I felt that love again and never wanted to let her go. Gibraltar was brilliant, I kept thinking about just emptying my account and starting anew.
I just left the room that day and haven't come back. Everything sounds different, like its all phasing and nothing is clear. Happy things make me sad, sad things make me sad. Up until now citalopram has worked, been taking it for about 2 months. Everything I feel is too intense, life has just started getting too much.
Does anyone have advice on how to surpress simple feelings, or just how to deal with them in a mature manner that doesn't hurt?