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Life doesn't get better

S

sunlilies

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I feel trapped in my own body. I want to be someone else. I'm tired of being mentally ill and having dyscalculia. I'm also tired of having PCOS and hirsutism. I hate being anxious and nervous about everything. Doctors really don't understand. They never listen. All they do is give me medications that make me fat. All I do to help myself with this is daydream about being someone else. Then I daydream about having a boyfriend or husband, and that I'm beautiful. But it's not very helpful because my daydreams are not reality. There are moments when I feel so angry at myself that I just want to hurt myself. Years have gone by, and nothing has improved. Life doesn't get better. I feel like I'm in hell. I don't want to exist anymore.
 
Bod

Bod

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Please do not hurt your self as you are stronger than you think, the negative thoughts will pass in time you just have to give it a bit of time.





If you're feeling like you want to die, it's important to tell someone.

Help and support is available right now if you need it. You do not have to struggle with difficult feelings alone.

Phone a helpline

These free helplines are there to help when you're feeling down or desperate.

You can also call these helplines for advice if you’re worried about someone else.

In the UK and Ireland, call the Samaritans on 116123.
In the US, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline ion 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, call the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, call Lifeline on 131114.
In New Zealand, call Need to Talk on 1737 or 080017371737.
For other countries please visit this list of crisis helplines.

Useful information

The Forum's page on getting help may also be useful to you. Here is a link to it Mental Health Forum - Getting Help

Here is a link to an article on Suicidal Crisis written by one of the Admin team which you may find helpful Suicidal Crisis

Emergency help

If you are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111 or call the international emergency number of 112).

Please do seek help as soon as possible.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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hello sweetie ,your not ugly ,your beauty from the inside shines outward
please don't hurt yourself ,i found a partner you can too ,your really young ,my first bf was when i was 40 ,and im still with him ,much love x
 
Joe57

Joe57

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Fairy Lu is right, you are one of the sweetest people in this forum.

Is there something you can do to help yourself feel better? Like take some walks, get some fresh air and exercise?
 
S

sunlilies

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Please do not hurt your self as you are stronger than you think, the negative thoughts will pass in time you just have to give it a bit of time.





If you're feeling like you want to die, it's important to tell someone.

Help and support is available right now if you need it. You do not have to struggle with difficult feelings alone.

Phone a helpline

These free helplines are there to help when you're feeling down or desperate.

You can also call these helplines for advice if you’re worried about someone else.

In the UK and Ireland, call the Samaritans on 116123.
In the US, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline ion 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, call the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, call Lifeline on 131114.
In New Zealand, call Need to Talk on 1737 or 080017371737.
For other countries please visit this list of crisis helplines.

Useful information

The Forum's page on getting help may also be useful to you. Here is a link to it Mental Health Forum - Getting Help

Here is a link to an article on Suicidal Crisis written by one of the Admin team which you may find helpful Suicidal Crisis

Emergency help

If you are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111 or call the international emergency number of 112).

Please do seek help as soon as possible.
Thank you for sharing this. I was able to avoid self harming, but it was really hard to fight away my negative thoughts. Thank you again.

hello sweetie ,your not ugly ,your beauty from the inside shines outward
please don't hurt yourself ,i found a partner you can too ,your really young ,my first bf was when i was 40 ,and im still with him ,much love x
Thank you so much. I am happy for you, and I hope you both are well. Sending you hugs.

Fairy Lu is right, you are one of the sweetest people in this forum.

Is there something you can do to help yourself feel better? Like take some walks, get some fresh air and exercise?
Thank you very much. This is such a kind comment. I draw sometimes. I've been thinking about focusing on reading more these days, so I might do that too.

Thank you everyone. I am sending you all hugs!

:grouphug:
 
S

sunlilies

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Sorry, I'm just going to type what's on my mind. I know that my life won't get better. I have to accept reality. I am not a realistic person at all, but I must accept what my life is meant to be. I am a mentally ill and overweight woman with hirsutism. I have been laughed at many times. I have been called horrible names. I will always be lonely, but I'm used to it. I say that I enjoy being alone. And in a way, it's true. I am shy and introverted. But loneliness is something we all experience sometimes. For me, it's always like this. I've tried many times to change my life, but my anxiety just became worse and worse. And so has my hirsutism, and I've gained more and more weight because of medications. I have no future. I can never make it to a university because I am not smart. Yes, there's nothing good about me or my life. Self harming doesn't help at all, and it just makes me feel worse. So I will try my best to stay away from self harming. But sometimes it feels like I must hurt myself. I just want to escape from this life.
 
Bod

Bod

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I do think it really is good that you know in your mind that self harming will not do a thing so well done on that as it is a start. If something is not impossible and we want something then if we work really hard, then we will get it I promise.
 
S

sunlilies

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I do think it really is good that you know in your mind that self harming will not do a thing so well done on that as it is a start. If something is not impossible and we want something then if we work really hard, then we will get it I promise.
Thank you so much :hug:
 
J

JustAUser

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I am not a woman actually , and never be a woman . But can say how to try to get emotional stability and confidence for a MAN.
Start from a little goal — reach it . Do it again and again . It should never stop . Having a result you getting more power and strength . Things that you were afraid of or maybe some things that you thought were shameful for you are NO LONGER like that . They can still stay with you for some time , but you will not give a shit about them . Because you are building yourself everyday . You are REACHING YOUR GOALS
 
J

JustAUser

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Concentrate on BULDING YOURSELF first . Then you can find a good boyfriend/husband !
 
S

sunlilies

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@JustAUser Thank you so much for sharing this advice. I just feel like no matter what I do, there is no improvement. I guess I have to keep trying, but it's stressful. Thank you again.
 
J

JustAUser

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@JustAUser Thank you so much for sharing this advice. I just feel like no matter what I do, there is no improvement. I guess I have to keep trying, but it's stressful. Thank you again.
Do you have some hobbies maybe ?
You know , how greedy should it sound .
But money can give you confidence
 
S

sunlilies

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Do you have some hobbies maybe ?
You know , how greedy should it sound .
But money can give you confidence
I play video games and sometimes I draw. I am thinking about doing something else with my life like maybe wanting to learn how to play an instrument or reading more books. Maybe start writing poems or stories. But I'm not confident at all and I feel like all of this will end in failure.
 
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