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life after the death of my dad

ScaredCat

ScaredCat

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I am so sorry blacksmoke. Probably is what other people have said already but the most important thing to do is to look after you xx
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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tomorrow i go over to my mothers and this afternoon i have had a cold develop and i am feeling bunged up. oh my it really hasnt sunk in yet. :cry: tomorrow will only be the second time i have visited since my dad died.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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hi x i just wanted to say how sorry i am for your loss x
my mummy died a year and a half ago and im still not over it
sending you lots of love and hugs love from fairy lu xx
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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hi x i just wanted to say how sorry i am for your loss x
my mummy died a year and a half ago and im still not over it
sending you lots of love and hugs love from fairy lu xx
thankyou FariyLu. i am due over in a bit. my stomach is churning at the thought. sorry about your mother its tough aint it. as you maybe aware my relationship with my mother is challenging to put it mildly so you were lucky to have a good relationship at least.
 
Kerome

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We have faith in you blacksmoke :) I hope the day is reasonably easy on your nerves and you manage a meditative calm...
 
blacksmoke

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We have faith in you blacksmoke :) I hope the day is reasonably easy on your nerves and you manage a meditative calm...
many thanks Kerome managed to have a burn up of the rubbish whilst at my mothers, while i had a bit of a cry. realistically i can only cope with my mother for 2 to 3 hours max i am suspecting. although it was good to see my sis and her husband and then my bro no 4.

bro and bro in law are going through the probate paperwork tomorrow and thank goodness my sis is doing this but our mother has decided she wants to see dad at the funeral parlour tomorrow :eek2:

i just about managed it today. but many thanks for your positive post.
 
blacksmoke

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it was very nice to see all the cards that my mother has got although she had just got them in a pile and also she had taken them off the window sill and the mantel piece. :confused: "yow dont even go there mantra."so i got busy finding some string and drawing pin to hang them up.
 
blacksmoke

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yesterday and today have been tough is all i can say really. and now it seems my one bro maybe having a huge crises of his own. its so tiring . just constant shite. time for tea i think..

and another one of me bros is having a terrible time at his place of work having to sack people who have been loyal employees and then interview them each 5 times yes 5 times so that can maybe keep their job what a foxing world we live in. makes me chuffin angry it seems the big chiefs havent got the bllks to do there own nasty work. they get the big salary but delegate their responsibility to the foot soldiers

and then when he has done that he will most probably get the sack himself. welcome to the new society bllks we are all in it together cept if you are a tory
 
blacksmoke

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yeah so relevant i am almost scaring myself and i keep getting funny sensati0ns in my head so the stress levels are a rising
 
blacksmoke

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tomorrow is the saddest day of my life. where do i go from here i wonder. family have their own lives and me i am still a fkwit
 
TiredTina

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It will be a sad day blacksmoke but you will get through it. Don't beat yourself up if you find it a struggle. I'm sure you're not a fkwit :hug:
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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is it your dads funeral? i will try and get online during the day tomorrow to support you
you most certainly are not alone
love fairy lu x
 
blacksmoke

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my bro phoned me tonight reg taking diazapan as i needed to disclose why i couldnt give a relative a lift and he talked me through some options of what i could do.

still not sure as the bottom line is that i will need to escape once the wake is over damned if i do and damned if i dont seems to be the theme of my miserable life
 
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