life after the death of my dad

blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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#41

yeah so relevant i am almost scaring myself and i keep getting funny sensati0ns in my head so the stress levels are a rising
 
blacksmoke

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#42
tomorrow is the saddest day of my life. where do i go from here i wonder. family have their own lives and me i am still a fkwit
 
TiredTina

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#43
It will be a sad day blacksmoke but you will get through it. Don't beat yourself up if you find it a struggle. I'm sure you're not a fkwit :hug:
 
blacksmoke

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#45
my bro phoned me tonight reg taking diazapan as i needed to disclose why i couldnt give a relative a lift and he talked me through some options of what i could do.

still not sure as the bottom line is that i will need to escape once the wake is over damned if i do and damned if i dont seems to be the theme of my miserable life
 
blacksmoke

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#46
is it your dads funeral? i will try and get online during the day tomorrow to support you
you most certainly are not alone
love fairy lu x
many thanks FairyLu but i wont have access to the internet or maybe i might later as my bro has had broadband installed at my mothers house. apparently the connection speed is shite . still at least one relative is not coming as i have two uncle's who hate each other and have had nothing to do with each other for decades. that is one less flash point to be vigilant about...
 
blacksmoke

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#47
It will be a sad day blacksmoke but you will get through it. Don't beat yourself up if you find it a struggle. I'm sure you're not a fkwit :hug:
ah if you knew what was about to happen in my life its a house of cards about to blow in the wind
 
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fidget

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#49
yes, will be thinking of you blacksmoke. I can't imagine how hard all this has been and is for you. I hope tomorrow goes as well as it can :hug:
 
Kerome

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#50
I just wanted to drop by and send some good wishes. I hope it goes well blacksmoke and you have an easier day than you expect.
 
blacksmoke

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#53
I just wanted to drop by and send some good wishes. I hope it goes well blacksmoke and you have an easier day than you expect.
yes it went ok in the end as much as a funeral can. there was a mo when things could have been a flash point.. but amazingly it didnt happen and i was witness to something very amazing.
 
mami5

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#55
Life is so full of hurdles to test us Blacksmoke. Try not to dwell on it too much, I'm sending you some positive vibes to help you through it. :hug: xxx
 
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Stormcloud

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#56
Losing a parent is one of the hardest things in life. I lost my mum 5 years a go and I am still not over it. Are you going the cemetery to lay some flowers? I am so sorry that you have lost your dad. x
 
blacksmoke

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#57
Losing a parent is one of the hardest things in life. I lost my mum 5 years a go and I am still not over it. Are you going the cemetery to lay some flowers? I am so sorry that you have lost your dad. x
my dads ashes are still at the funeral parlour. long story. so no wont be going to no grave. anyway not into that. its the memories really. still cant believe it myself. :low:
 
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#58
I tipped into chronic depression following the death of my father in March. I am only now starting to feel a bit like me again but I know there will be further waves to crash down on me - I'll just pop on my running shoes, I don't know how else to fight it.
 
blacksmoke

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#59
I tipped into chronic depression following the death of my father in March. I am only now starting to feel a bit like me again but I know there will be further waves to crash down on me - I'll just pop on my running shoes, I don't know how else to fight it.
do you get unexplained overwhelming "tiredness" that means all you can do it sit still. but i had this before my dad died back in july last year. had several days of it ... as things were so bad and ongoing
 
blacksmoke

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#60
I tipped into chronic depression following the death of my father in March. I am only now starting to feel a bit like me again but I know there will be further waves to crash down on me - I'll just pop on my running shoes, I don't know how else to fight it.
do you get unexplained overwhelming "tiredness" that means all you can do it sit still. but i had this before my dad died back in july last year. had several days of it ... as things were so bad and ongoing