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life ,after event one .my young self



If you havent seen the post about event one ,then find it ,it would help ,in
understanding the catalist ,that would summon my end as a child .a few weeks after the molestation ,rape,or my childhoods death ,i would start to do
well, lets say weird things ,mark my arms with pins ,spend lots of time in the
local woods with the visitor ,talk to it a lot ,but it never spoke back ,if i looked into its blank face ,i would only see my own ,that young boy looking
back ,i knew knowone else could see the visitor ,but it was always there either at my side ,or standing close by ,it would be there when i got married ,
at the birth of my two daughters ,there when we lost the unborn due to
a cancer .always here as it is now as i type ,my dark silent sentinal ,anyway
the stranger i become, the further away the other kids moved ,then the bullying started ,weirdo ,they would say and other nasty things ,was even stoned once ,still got the scare on the bridge of my nose .i spent all my time
alone then,as i got older ,i would camp out alone ,in the woods ,never scared
after all the visitor i was slowly learning ,was evil and powerful ,and he was my freind ,i was indeed powerful ,i started lighting fires at around 10yr,nothing
bad ,just in the woods and the odd dustbin,about 11yrs,i got my first motorbike,weres my parents you may ask ,dont know really ,i kept the bike hidden ,and when i did go home i would stay in my room ,the bike was my realise,i was crazy ,chased by the police all the time ,never caught though ,everyone grew to hate me ,i became the ultimate rebel,by thirteen i
had graduated to a triumph tiger 500cc,and was out of control ,i was bigger
and faster than ever ,the visitor had whispered into my brain all these years
he had granted the wish of that puny little kid ,the innocent child i was ,and i
had become hunted by many ,by 13 i had new freinds bad freinds who liked me
and wanted to be close to me ,because they new i was on fire ,and soon i was to surely crash and burn ,in a catatrofic event witch would change the path of my life forever ,i would be run out of the village were i lived ,thrown
into the boot of a car ,and badly beaten, i would stand and look on as my
childhood self would walk into the burning flames of his own creation ,and vanish
from my life ,leaving myself the man to pick up the peices .and run from the
very place i had been born ,into a new strange ,dark and very lonely world
Years later i would forgive that child ,and he lives now within my heart and
soul,and when im sad i withdraw inside ,and we talk about the childhood he
saw ,he never played ,or laughed ,never held or loved ,but he has all those
things now ,and he,s safe ,his time with the visitor is long over and it will
never touch him again,it is my time with that dark one now ,and the child i
should have been ,will now only know warmth and love ,
and what of event two ,it is not time yet ,this is just a breif fill in of what
happen from being seven ,up to 13/14 ish ,i,ll let it go when i feel i can ,the
forum is still new to me ,ive been bitten before ,and you have all been most
kind to me ,and i do feel a part of this place ,
what do i want from you ? we.ll you may be suprised to here this but i look
for nothing ,trully .if i can punch a hole in anyone of your darkness,s and share a little light with you ,then i have been given a gift ,and gifts are free,


hi there

the visitor is my depression ,it is visible to me ,24/7 ,stands beside me now
as i type ,a faint dark figure ,no face ,just a silent ever present shadow
ok ,,,thanks for asking ,,,,,JETBOY



I often think to myself that there are so few people who have courage nowadays. People who will make a stand or say things for how they really are.

I can't tell you how purifying and uplifting it is to hear you disclose something so personal to you. Not because of the dark events that happened but because you have succeeded in being courageous.

I want to thank you for your grace and your dignity as a human being.



Robert ,i stand with you now ,,,

you can not see me robert,but i came to stand by your side ,and put my hand on your shoulder as i tell how your kind words have touched me ,
i have no fear of depression or its demons anymore ,the fight i have is
keeping looking normal and taking part in this life i hate so much ,so my
family dont see to much pain ,ive learnt to talk of things as i see them ,
and i do see many things ,to talk freely about them is something i do so
that others who may suffer ,and have simalar things in there lifes ,will know
there not alone ,your words to me are very kind ,in touching you with my
words in this way ,i gave you a gift ,and in return ,when i logged on today
you had left me a gift in your respose ,it lets me know you listen here and
that makes it all worthwhile ,im pleased to know you also Robert.
you have lifted me today thankyou ,,,,JETBOY ,,,,Ken
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