Lies and Black and White Thinking

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Rayofhope

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#1
Hey everyone

I feel so silly for this post but I need some advice. I suffer with BPD and I used to have very rigid black and white thinking. With therapy, I've gotten better at this over time. I used to have almost OCD about lying and even if someone told me a white lie they'd be a complete liar and the relationship doomed. I told my current partner this and have told him that I dont get why people lie for no reason and that I don't like lies of omission. However, this morning I saw a picture of us tagged and I hated how I looked (I go through spells of low confidence...surprise although it's been getting better). I edited the picture of my face slightly before I sent it to him as, it's a pretty funny pic. He commented back that it looks like I have lip fillers in the pic. I was obviosuly embarassed so I just replied 'I did for the occassion x' and now i'm beside myself. He hasn't replied and is in work. I feel like a complete liar; I feel like I've manipulated him in some way and like I've ruined the relationship. I'm completely catastrophizing and I don't know what to do. I've been able to rationalise thoughts very well recently but the shame and embarssment of this has really gotten to me. I don't even know if this is a lie or even if it's a big deal. I just dont know. I don't wanna admit to it because it's embarassing and part of me hopes he doesn't raise it again. Is this is a lie if he hasn't actually asked me? Getting myself into such a tangle.

:(
 
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#2
Hi can I just say that lots of people filter there pics this didn’t make u a liar I use fb and everyone uses filters to make there photos better ect stop worrying and I understand how your over thinking I also have eupd
 
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Rayofhope

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#3
Thank you. Think it was because I didn't outwardly confess the truth when he said 'you look like you have lip fillers in that pic'. I just said 'I did for the occassion' as though it was a joke. it's awful, i feel so so dysregulated over it. Even to the point where I wanna just message him to say 'DO YOU THINK IM A LIAR PLEASE DONT LEAVE. Normally i'd do anything not to live with the uncertainlty of what ssomeone is thinking but trying to resist
 
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PD

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#4
Thank you. Think it was because I didn't outwardly confess the truth when he said 'you look like you have lip fillers in that pic'. I just said 'I did for the occassion' as though it was a joke. it's awful, i feel so so dysregulated over it. Even to the point where I wanna just message him to say 'DO YOU THINK IM A LIAR PLEASE DONT LEAVE. Normally i'd do anything not to live with the uncertainlty of what ssomeone is thinking but trying to resist
Just go with the flow if he mentions the pic again just laugh and say it’s amazing what you can do with filters hence and stop worrying try a distraction like a walk are even a treat for yaself
 
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#5
Hence why all the models look so perfect in magazines they all have filters on there pics
 
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