Library of motivations

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Michael

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Cycles of the mind

Motivation when coming out from being down
Is the hardest bridge to cross I have found
Confidence is still at a very low ebb
Support is needed so I can be led

An old adage would be a kick up the backside
This, literally, is what I need
Provaracation is so easy to do
As reasons why not my brain tells me to

This cycle of events I have been through many times
Still I find myself wondering what to do
The methods I've used desert me now
So I sit and stare , waiting for, who knows who

3 days have passed, not a muscle stirred
Mentally I feel as I'm getting disturbed
So I force myself out and borrow a dog
A brisk walk I do to relieve this mental fog

It clears my head enough so I can see
The damage that is happening to me
The following day is clear and bright
Once again I go to open further my mind

The following day I rest and contemplate
As my muscles ache from the walk I par-taked
Clearer thoughts with perspective gained
It stops the cyclic mental drain

Motivation starts to creep through
I can see again some things I want to do
I plan now ahead to incorporate these thoughts of mine
And once again I shall see that I can have a good time

 
M

Michael

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East Lancs
Looking at nature brings many scenarios to the mind

Look Robin Redbreast standing there
Singing a song, can't you hear?
Watch him saying as he sings his song
C'mon lass why does the allus tek so long!

But she doesn't listen as he sings in the tree
It's too blummin cold to muck about with thee
He'll just have to wait until he's built them a home
Before she'll stir from her nice warm hole

Off he goes singing away
Looking for somewhere, a nest to make
Up and down, round and round
Until a place he has found

Off again for twigs and moss
Bits of fur to prevent heat loss
Bits of mud bonds it all together
A nest is made to suit the weather

Once again be sits and sings
Hoping that a mate it will bring
To share the nest so lovingly made
For him, hopes it sufficient to trade

She hears his song and decideds to see
Check out his pad before kids she'll produce 1,2,3.
Then once again he'll have to go
To feed her brood and then he'll know

He'll never rule the roost at all
He will always be at someone's beck and call
So get used to it as soon as you can
To go back as it was, there is no chance!




 
M

Michael

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East Lancs
Cold

Sitting by my nice warm fire
Watching the snow falling I begin to tire
Almost hypnotic the snow drifts down
Above is blue sky and a smattering of cloud

Cares and worries drift and melt away
As the sun comes out and spoils the kids play
Soon the ground will be clear once more
With a reddish brown tint covering the floor

What lessons if any can I learn from this
That to live for the now, the past is deceased
No point in looking back for there's nothing there you can do
Except learn and resolve then it will empower you

The clouds have now covered the sky
The sun no longer wishes to smile
So whilst the inclement weather takes its toll
Begin your plan to finally let go

Another day as I continue with this
The snow is now beginning to drift
The sky threatens to drop more on us
Just another bugbear to try and test you

There are no birds now in the sky
The shoots of spring now hide
Spindriff being blown everywhere
I don't wish to have to go out there
 
M

Michael

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Feeling guilty

Snow is swirling then falling down
Roads covered, cars not travelling around
No birds have come to feast on my contribution for them
Isolation can be a beautiful thing

Fire glowing bright and red
The house warm and we're all well fed
Ensconced within these four walls of mine
My heart goes out to the homeless at this time

Then thoughts of those all around
Who are facing difficulties of the paying kind
We pride ourselves in our civilised life
Today reminds me that this is not right

Facebook has shown there are some
Endeavouring to help anyone
Now I feel guilty sitting here
Not knowing what can be done

Many charities I have helped in the past
Practical help was my forte, but now alas
I don't see the requests as before
Except for fundraising or being in a store

I have seen in times of immediate need
People rallying round at great speed
But the social and community side is concerning me now
Are there checks to ensure they are safe and sound

It isn't right to just sit and think
The government or council should do their bit
To be inclusive and involved
In aiding others, there problems to be resolved

I therefore put out a plea
For others who think like me
Do you know who I could see
To help those who have a need?
 
M

Michael

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East Lancs
Unable to sleep

Nearly midnight and I'm wide awake
My wife sleeping soundly as I contemplate
Why can I not just accept who I am
Thereby go to sleep like any other man

Alas the dice have not rolled this way
My mind challenges all I do or say
Making me unable to see a clear way
Eradication of these thoughts I must do today

Writing words down is so easy to do
It makes my mind concentrate on an immediate thing to do
The challenge will be when this ode is complete
Will I be able to relax and go to sleep

My mind is creating a turmoil of thoughts
Making me feel all hate me as a matter of course
Then anxiety and self loathing react together
No wonder some times I feel at the end of my tether

An achievable goal is what I must seek
Activity in which these thoughts I can break
Now another thought comes to the fore
Ridiculing me to think I am able to do more

Shortly I am going away for a week
Hoping different surroundings these thoughts to break
Maybe to just stop thinking and start doing instead
Would be the mantra to clear my head

A spiritual hand I would like to hold
To help and guide me to the wondrous land
Whereby I will clearly be able to see
The only thing holding me back is me!
 
M

Michael

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Location
East Lancs
Mothering Sunday

Waking by the shore of Bassenthwaite lake
A thin veil of mist rising with the morning sun
Blackbirds and Robins singing to greet the morn
A smile my face adorns

In the grand scheme of things
Things become clearer to me
Wishing I could discuss how I feel
But glad I have found writing works for me

Everybody needs to vent their soul
But how is a very personal goal
To think outside of the box
May help you to find your voice

Looking out of the window right now
Wispy clouds are up in the sky
Surrounded by the hills and woods
With the lake still and placid at its foot

Colours muted as the mist still lies
The feeling of freshness fills the air
A feeling of goodness beckons the day
I give thanks for for my mother making me this way​
 
M

Michael

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Location
East Lancs
What to say

My back is aching, my knee as well
My toes are cold, but really I'm well
My aches and pains continually follow me
As long as my head is clear I feel free

No overthinking, no actual problems to face
I can carry on at my own pace
I can walk in spite of my aching back
In fact it eases the further I go down the track

Some shopping to do at the beginning of this day
And then hopefully to listen to some birds at play
Get away from the infectious moaning minnies
That have blighted my thoughts for a lot of my life

My wife and I shall walk together
Sharing the space that makes my life better
Facing only actual problems that come our way
Resolving issues is best done this way

When she's not about I don't feel alone
For my departed parents I talk at home
I realise that this cannot be
But then why does it actually comfort me

When times are like this I give thanks out loud
For all of my family that help me stand proud
Although they don't know what they actually do
Just them being there is me having a brew

Simplify my thoughts and pleasures too
Don't try to attain what I cannot do
Never stop though in pushing the boundaries
For trying the waters is always a good thing to do

It's time to get ready, so put my pen down
Get out to shop and have a coffee in town
Take your time and listen carefully
You will hear the birds over people being silly


 
M

Michael

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Conflicting thoughts

Sitting here after a couple of long walks
Looking through the window as the snow falls
The temperature is freezing, it doesn't look good
Do I risk walking or mentally falling

It is not unreasonable to just stay at home
There would be no pleasure in getting wet and cold
So I need now to occupy my mind
With thoughts of clearer weather being at the forefront this time

Plenty of books stareing down at me
Detailing walks where I would like to be
In places not far from me right now
Helping the visualisation of having a good time

It's better, it's become clearer to me
Solo walks fit me to a tee
No reliance on the company of others
No race to compete in fitness obsession

My own pace with my own thoughts
No conflict of issues that make relationships fraught
But still an emptiness void is there within me
Does anyone really think like me

The sound of birdsong loud and clear
Sight of animals without care nor fear
Watching clouds skittering through the sky
Feeling the sunshine as it sometimes appears

Looking once again through the window I see
Snowflakes drifting down and covering the scene
Once again I contemplate going out to walk
But now feeling the cold it's a brew that I make​
 
M

Michael

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Controlling my mind

Insular and quiet even when the weather's not bright
Been going out and physically pushing myself
Smiling and greeting at those I meet along the way
I return, insular and quiet and continue my day

I go to places where I chat and smile
Inside I really want to hide
Being asked why I walk alone
But can't explain that then I feel under duress

My wife despairs at times
When out walking or biking seemingly in a dream
Not hearing the phone when on my own
For I really am in 'a' place in my 'zone'

I'm not unhappy or even depressed
Although I do miss the company of like minded souls
These people are like me rarely seen
For they don't belong to conventional scenes

My current 'zone' is of wondering why
Why do I not reach out for the sky
A longer walk or bike ride to do
Just see how youre resourceful, you will pull through

I'm not shying away, nor deluding myself
I need a challenge to test my mind itself
Pushing my body and forcing my mind
To achieve control - well some of the time

I've done it before, I can do it again
Even though the years have taken there toll
My only allowance that I give myself
Is now time is not as important as once was
 
M

Michael

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East Lancs
Sore feet

Sitting here feeling lonely
Two sore feet, blistered from walking
Reading books to motivate me more
And disguise the discomfort my feet being sore

It's not the same sitting at home
Four walls can look so forlorn
No changing scenery to brighten your mind
No wind and rain to freeze your soul

A mixed blessing it can be at home
Being safe and dry and somewhat warm
But just one day when the weather is fine
Makes all the difference to my crazy mind

Please weather give me some respite
To go out walking and feel, well, 'right'
And please feet of mine don't give up this time
And be the cure for my weak mind

Colour and fragrance of grass in the breeze
Different songbirds flying where I can see
Warmth of the sun making me grin
And the feeling that life again can begin​
 
M

Michael

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East Lancs
Miseries of a long night

In the darkness of the night
A insidious killer comes by my side
Nibbling away at my peace of mind
Insecurity and anxiety engulfs me all the time

Lying awake no respite for me
As my mind in turmoil more problems it seeks
Aches and pains fill my joints
Masking the walks that I've enjoyed

Self confidence in what I want do
Disappearing like the morning dew
Not seeing the path I want to take
All I see is the turmoil in my wake

Now into the early hours of the morn
No progress have I in resolving my mind now torn
Historically I know this will pass
As long as my resolve will last

I try to recall my adventures of the past
All had problems which were resolved to the last
The elation then felt as I immediately recalled
Fades away at the start of a new dawn

Each day that comes along
Gives me a challenge which I face alone
To confront my fears and not give in
And let my spirit come out from within

I'm tired and jaded and want to sleep
Not cat-nap but a night that is complete
To awake refreshed and ready to go
Must be the most wondrous feeling of all

This malaise i'm in just has to go
It can't continue it has to let go
I must be able to live out my last few years
And gain a contentment that I have earned to achieve

 
M

Michael

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East Lancs
Positivity comes to the fore

Natural serotonin is coming down from the sky
The sun is really working hard to make me smile
Dark moods cannot progress
As the sun brightens the whole of my face

I can hear birds sing and people talk
Traffic noise still there it's obnoxious noise
As the temperature soars
My mind relaxes so much more

No exercise done, I can see with my tum
This week so much I have to get done
10 kilos lost, I cannot turn back
My motivation needs to be increased to stop me being sad

Mentally and physically the weight is coming off
It would be so easy right now the self pressure to lift
Two steps forward and occasionally one back
A mantra to forgive myself if I should slide

One week to go, health review to face
This has not to wipe this smile without trace
Still to realise that my youth has gone
And tailor my efforts and do what I can

Irrespective of age I still push hard
Making my body feel my heart
Muscles ache, especially trying to stand
But sleep still comes in waves, this not what I want

Therefore this week I'll push myself
Then listen to the doctor whilst listening to my heart
Mentally positivity is abundantly there
Being subdued not depressed I will come to the fore


 
M

Michael

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Location
East Lancs
My dream world beckons

I'd like to rest by the shore
Soaking my feet in cool water flow
Feeling the breeze wafting gentle over me
Watching clouds form and then scuttle away to be free

I hear birds singing quite close by
The wind rustling though the trees
Warmth of the sun radiating down
This is my utopian land

The orchestral sounds of the wind
Visuality of all that is around
Troubles evaporate as I just contemplate
The inner calm that exudes from this place

As I lie here in my bed
Realisation that these thoughts are just in my head
But tomorrow is yet another day
Maybe I've foretold what the morrow will unfold

Optimistically I shall fall asleep
To dream of what tomorrow may bring
But no matter what happens in the days to come
My mind has transported me to that place I know I belong​
 
M

Michael

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Location
East Lancs
Sleepless nights need not be a pain

2 am, sleep deserts me again
Introspection of yesterday begins
My mind is clear of the things I did
So I allow my mind to drift

Waking through an avenue of trees
The breeze rustling the leaves
Birdsong singing out as I pass on through
The sun beaming down shimmering the view

Sitting in a clearing, I close my eyes
Letting myself be absorbed by just natural sounds
30 minutes pass as I let go of the moment
And smile to myself at the feeling of total involvement

Carrying on through, the woodland comes to an end
Yet the internal peace has now throughout extend
My life problems still exist
But they now seem to be just a list

Not to be-little or to lose perspective
I still work hard at those remedies
But perspective is the criteria for me
As I work on my mind to relax and be free

2-15 am now, nothing has changed
Except allowing my mind to go to a place of my dreams
I feel refreshed and content to just lie
Letting me be washed by waves of contentment in my mind

Trying to think of a trip my mind can take
But I am content with my current place
So I'm closing this ode off and peacefully just lay
Soon it will be time to start another day

 
M

Michael

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Location
East Lancs
The never ending journey

Is being subdued and despondent the same as depression
Or are they just normal human emotions that are ever present
Whilst i'm not bubbling up with happiness and full of joy
I'm not in the depths that depression would have me enjoy

I go for a walk, and feel okay
I sit on my own for I have nothing to say
I would like to chat and feel a part of this world
But someone else's troubles, sorry, I'm not the one to turn

Introspection, I sit and ponder
What do I want, do I have a problem
Doctors are not the place for me to go
For I need to realise some achievable goals

So here I am, a mixed up man
My lack of self confidence is my turmoil again
I sit and talk myself to regain the right path
But soon once again the lack of confidence comes back

I must continue to get out and walk
I scream to the negativity to go to the wall
Then I sit, in silence, alone.
To pick up the pieces and continue to travel alone
 
M

Michael

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Location
East Lancs
Thanks

125000 hits, really has made me sit up and think
What is it the others like to read
Can it it really be how I think and feel
And the coping mechanisms that have got me here

Depression release through writing is not a cure
But it helps me to visualise it more
Instead of letting my mind roll the thoughts around
It helps to 'vocalise' it and release it from my mind

Sometimes it works and then it doesn't
Then walking becomes my favoured trump
For then I have a replacement for illogical thoughts
And a record to read of this beautiful world

Still occasionally I need respite
For my tortured soul needs to cry
To release those thoughts that linger on
That's when I close up myself and hide

I would like to thank you all
For reading my travels within this mysterious world
That shows how cyclic this condition is
And supporting me with just a read​
 
M

Michael

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Dec 17, 2007
Messages
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Location
East Lancs
Progress

Extended time out in the sun
Bare knees and arms so much fun
Today i'm covered from head to toe
The wind is blowing in places I don't want to know

Solitude in walking can be done
By looking down and not at anyone
With the sun I have held my head high
Smiles and greeted those walking by

I don't need to stop and have a chat
Just a smile and hello as I walk past
Some respond, others dont
But my smile makes me feel good, and that's what I want

I still get subdued, sit and think
Sorting problems that don't exist
But the fresh air soon awakens my mind
Gives me a way out of this depressive rut

Still being medicated, I would like to stop
Historically it took a month before I had to give up
So the medication and fresh air seems to do the trick
Maybe I should stay as I am, I'm enjoying this

Soon I'm going away, two weeks by the sea
I'm hoping that it will further boost how I'm feeling free
By continuing lifes journey one step at a time
My twilight years will continue to shine​
 
M

Michael

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Dec 17, 2007
Messages
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Location
East Lancs
My minds journey

I'm blaming the current high temperatures for the way I feel
Really washed out and nothing seeming real
Irrational thoughts circulating within my brain
Trying to say 'I'm depressed again'

I am subdued and feeling tired
Lacklustre may be the word i describe
Having 40 winks at unusual times of the day
Total tiredness will not go away

Long walks to get fresh air
Talking to others to make me seem there
All along i just want to curl up and go
Where to i just don't seem to know

Is my diabetes or depression making me this way
Why am I scared to talk to someone about my day
I'm not suicidal just physically wiped out
Not sufficient reason to talk to anyone about

The weather's good and I'm told I have an enviable tan
Others first impression is that I am fine
There is no real reason to to think otherwise
I wish I was better at controlling what goes on in my mind

Circular thinking within my head
Time to stop, get off, and think ahead
Break the spiral delving into the deep
It's so much easier to write than put into practice what I preach



 
M

Michael

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Location
East Lancs
Thinking

It's a quiet old day
I've nothing much to say
Keeping going walking has kept me sane
But is that a truthful claim?

The only problems I have are made by me
As I Iet my mind think on things that cannot be
So to distract my mind
And find that place I need to be

Priority of thinking of actuals now
Not hypotheticals they are never sound
To daydream in the now is a nice place to be
Perspective of troubles are the highlighted so I can see

At times like these I look at the anti 'D's
Thinking, are they really helping me
Then looking back at some 'events' before
I acknowledge the need so I think no more

Then the medication for diabetes I take
To help balance my food intake
Obvious sugar is a no no for me
Secondary or natural sugars though are not as easy to see

So when the balance I get so wrong
I fall physically ill then mentally not strong
I try and realise what I've eaten that's wrong
Or the amount of exercise that has been too long

So many areas I am fighting hard
To manage my body and keep alive
But when I've got it right
My mind once again can return into a more fanciful flight