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let down by close ''friends''

M

mad jack mcmadd

Member
Joined
Jul 6, 2009
Messages
10
has anyone else been severely let down by close ''friends''.
four close friends i really thought i could rely on when i became sick have all turned there backs on me due to m.h. issues.
closest and oldest friend,of 30years,the only person i truly confided in stopped contacting me.(the ironic thing is he actually works for the n.h.s.).
i appreciate things in life change;people get married, have children, move house,change jobs etc. but surely they are the ones with the problem.
it's deflating to think of these ''friends'' turning there backs on me due to m.h .problems.when you're sick your friends are soo very important.
during our long friendship i've helped them all at various times.
i'm not so much angry as perplexed.

reply if you are out there ......
 
Catharsis

Catharsis

Member
Joined
Aug 16, 2009
Messages
20
Location
Ireland
I know what it's like to be let down by friends, many times in many years this has happened and none more than by my so called best friend. I don't know what you want to do about it and I don't want to tell you what to do, but think long and hard about whether you feel these people really are your friends.

Maybe talk to them about it as a lot of people don't know enough to separate the illness from the person. Of course, if you've been there for them in the past, remind them. If they're real friends, they'll be sorry that you felt let down.

EDIT: Please bear in mind that I too am going through a tough time and so you may be better off waiting for more sound advice than mine. :)
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
It is very difficult to maintain & form close bonds sometimes. How much is me? how much is them? & how much is social attitudes & structure?

I know that I have had friends & acquaintances, that when they have got too difficult with certain of their problems, I have distanced myself from them for my own well being. It is complex I think. Over the past few months I have had to limit the time I spend with a friend who has severe depression - everything is incredibly negative; & he makes me feel unwell if I am around him too much. I have not been my best either for a few months; & I am aware that people rightly don't want to hear me talk about MH issues 24/7.

I have noticed certain reactions with people; some people, especially family get very upset; & I also get into arguments about things, & many people just don't know how to respond or to deal with certain stuff that I go on about. A lot of people just spout advice - things like; your need to be more accepting, you need to do more exercise, you need to get out more, etc etc. The result is that I spend more time alone.

It is a 2 way thing I think. I have self stigma; & people have their own preconceived ideas & attitudes that are not always helpful as well. It's a hard one.
 
Neferakhet

Neferakhet

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 13, 2009
Messages
86
Location
Beyond the Styx
has anyone else been severely let down by close ''friends''.
four close friends i really thought i could rely on when i became sick have all turned there backs on me due to m.h. issues.
closest and oldest friend,of 30years,the only person i truly confided in stopped contacting me.(the ironic thing is he actually works for the n.h.s.).
i appreciate things in life change;people get married, have children, move house,change jobs etc. but surely they are the ones with the problem.
it's deflating to think of these ''friends'' turning there backs on me due to m.h .problems.when you're sick your friends are soo very important.
during our long friendship i've helped them all at various times.
i'm not so much angry as perplexed.

reply if you are out there ......
No worries you aren't alone in this..I think this happened to at least 30 percent of the whole world population.Unfortunately especially m.h cases are trial of fire for testing true friendships,and relationships with the opposite sex.Most people regardless of the length of your relationship tend to walk away,shorter it is they walk away much quickly and easily.

Throughout the history people have been hung out to dry,backstabbed,betrayed,abandoned,let down..Do try to understand that us humans are selfish breed,so don't be perplexed be strong.Remember it's their fault and shame that they abandoned you,not yours.
 
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